-
mearora
- Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:20 am
- Followed by:1 members
Hi All,
I am fairly new to this site. This is my first Arugement essay, please review and advise where I stand. I highly appreciate the response on this.
"This past winter, 200 students frrom Waymarsh State College traveled to the state capitol building to protest against proposed cuts in funding for various state college programs. The other 12,000 students evidently weren't so concerned about their education; they either stayed on campus or left for winter break. Since the group who did not protest if far more numerous, therefore the state legislature need not heed the appeas of the protesting students"
MY RESPONSE:
Proposed cuts in the funding of the state college programs has been a hot topic lately. Many people argue Fund cuts, and some affirm it. In the preceding statement, the author claims that "since the group who did not protest is far more numerous, therefore the state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting students." Though this claim has some merit to it, yet the poorly reasoned aruguments with the faulty assumptions make the conclusion invalid.
The primary issue with the author's reasoning lies on his/her unsubstantiated premises. Because students who did not protest or stayed on campus does not necessarily indicate that these students are not concerned about their studies. It is possible that the 200 students of the entire population of the college represented the entire college and spoke on behalf of them. If this assumption is true, author's arugument would not hold true.
Secondary, it is mentioned in the arguement that students are protesting against proposed cuts in funding for various state programs. It is possible that students who protested are primarily part of these programs, and the remaining students were involved in other programs where there is no risk of cutting the funds. If this assumption/reasoing is true, it would demostrate clearly that the author's reasoning is flawed since they are not part of the protest as it is not regarding the program they are involoved in. The author's premises and assumptions lack evidentary support and make the conclusion unacceptable.
The author's reasoning can be strengthened by showing a valide linkage between the students who are presting vs. the students who are not protesting. If it can be proved that the majority of the studens in Waymarsh State College are part of the programs that are currently targetted for proposed cuts in funding, yet only 200 voluntarily decided to protest against this. This can strenthen the author's claim that due to the lack of majority, the state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting students.
In sum, since the argument leaves out many key points and the conclusion is based on illogical reasoning and assumptions, this conclusion is not persuasive. If the author truely wishes to leave an impack on reader's mind, he must shows a clear linkage between the premises, assumptions, and then draw the conclusion. Therefore, with further research and more clarification, the claim can be strengthened and argument can be made more thorough and impressive.
I am fairly new to this site. This is my first Arugement essay, please review and advise where I stand. I highly appreciate the response on this.
"This past winter, 200 students frrom Waymarsh State College traveled to the state capitol building to protest against proposed cuts in funding for various state college programs. The other 12,000 students evidently weren't so concerned about their education; they either stayed on campus or left for winter break. Since the group who did not protest if far more numerous, therefore the state legislature need not heed the appeas of the protesting students"
MY RESPONSE:
Proposed cuts in the funding of the state college programs has been a hot topic lately. Many people argue Fund cuts, and some affirm it. In the preceding statement, the author claims that "since the group who did not protest is far more numerous, therefore the state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting students." Though this claim has some merit to it, yet the poorly reasoned aruguments with the faulty assumptions make the conclusion invalid.
The primary issue with the author's reasoning lies on his/her unsubstantiated premises. Because students who did not protest or stayed on campus does not necessarily indicate that these students are not concerned about their studies. It is possible that the 200 students of the entire population of the college represented the entire college and spoke on behalf of them. If this assumption is true, author's arugument would not hold true.
Secondary, it is mentioned in the arguement that students are protesting against proposed cuts in funding for various state programs. It is possible that students who protested are primarily part of these programs, and the remaining students were involved in other programs where there is no risk of cutting the funds. If this assumption/reasoing is true, it would demostrate clearly that the author's reasoning is flawed since they are not part of the protest as it is not regarding the program they are involoved in. The author's premises and assumptions lack evidentary support and make the conclusion unacceptable.
The author's reasoning can be strengthened by showing a valide linkage between the students who are presting vs. the students who are not protesting. If it can be proved that the majority of the studens in Waymarsh State College are part of the programs that are currently targetted for proposed cuts in funding, yet only 200 voluntarily decided to protest against this. This can strenthen the author's claim that due to the lack of majority, the state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting students.
In sum, since the argument leaves out many key points and the conclusion is based on illogical reasoning and assumptions, this conclusion is not persuasive. If the author truely wishes to leave an impack on reader's mind, he must shows a clear linkage between the premises, assumptions, and then draw the conclusion. Therefore, with further research and more clarification, the claim can be strengthened and argument can be made more thorough and impressive.
