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- GMAT Score:770
hi,
I got a 4.5 in my AWA in my actual GMAT. I am re-taking to improve on my main scores. But I would like to improve on my AWA since 4.5 is only 36%ile. I request you people to kindly analyze my essays and give feedbacks at a high level as to what my essays lack. I do not need feedbacks on grammatical mistakes because I know how time consuming it is to do such a review. I am looking at more in lines of vocabulary, style and structure. This essay is not one of my best. My actual GMAT essay was far better than this but still I ended up witha 4.5.
thanks,
Vishnu
AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following memo was circulated by the management team of a retail company:
"We are very pleased to announce that the relocation of our inventory, which had been located in four different warehouses throughout the country, to a single new warehouse near Company headquarters in Boston. This consolidated location will cut the company's expenses for warehouse rent in half. As a result we expect our monthly profitability to go up by this amount."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
YOUR RESPONSE:
The memo announces the company's decision to move all its warehouses to one centralized location and states that the move will cut the company's warehouse rent by half. Using the above premises, the author claims that the company's monthly profitability is expected to increase by an amount equal to the decrease in rent. I find the author's claim baseless and naive for a number of reasons.
First of all, the author fails to address any extra expenses that the company would incur as a result of the movement of all its warehouses to one place. For instance, if the company's retail stores were spread out across the country, the company would face extra expenses to move the products from the warehouse to its remote stores, eating up the company's profits.
Second of all, the argument ignores the business implications of such a move. For instance, if the company sells fresh goods, the movement of such goods from its warehouse to distant stores will take time and hence the buyers will not buy such aged products. Furthermore, such a movement will necessitate a huge change in the supply chain mechanism of the company, resulting in increased spendings.
Summing up, I find the claim flawed because it ignores the cons of such a move. To strengthen the argument the author needs to present premises to ascertain that such a move would not increase the spendings and the revenues.
ESSAY QUESTION:
"Children today have an unprecedented number of options when it comes to entertainment. Since no parent can be aware of all of these options, it falls to the entertainment media to ensure that their content is suitable for young consumers."
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
YOUR RESPONSE:
While I agree that entertainment media should behave responsibly, parents can not wash their hands off simply because the responsibilities are difficult. It is wrong to put all the responsibility in hands of the entertainment industry. Even-though I understand the sensitivities of the parents, I have a number of reasons to back my view.
Firstly, it is morally wrong to deprive the world of all of the entertainment that is not suitable for children. Furthermore, media is not just for entertainment. In this increasingly virtual world, media serves as an important learning platform for people. One cannot deprive all of the mankind of some knowledge just because it is not suitable for children. For instance, knowledge about GMAT is very important for adults while it is largely considered taboo for atleast young children.
Secondly, after all the entertainment companies are profit driven enterprises whose revenues depend largely on adult audience. The kind of content that the media shows is driven by the expectations of the adult audience.
While it is true that it is virtually impossible for the parents to regulate the children from watching inappropriate content, same is the case with the companies as well. It is virtually impossible to restrict the viewership only to the adults.
In summing up, I do not agree that the entire responsibility should fall on the hands of the media. The regulation should happen from both the sides. Parents and the companies should collaborate and identify ways and means to make it impossible for children to view inappropriate content.
I got a 4.5 in my AWA in my actual GMAT. I am re-taking to improve on my main scores. But I would like to improve on my AWA since 4.5 is only 36%ile. I request you people to kindly analyze my essays and give feedbacks at a high level as to what my essays lack. I do not need feedbacks on grammatical mistakes because I know how time consuming it is to do such a review. I am looking at more in lines of vocabulary, style and structure. This essay is not one of my best. My actual GMAT essay was far better than this but still I ended up witha 4.5.
thanks,
Vishnu
AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following memo was circulated by the management team of a retail company:
"We are very pleased to announce that the relocation of our inventory, which had been located in four different warehouses throughout the country, to a single new warehouse near Company headquarters in Boston. This consolidated location will cut the company's expenses for warehouse rent in half. As a result we expect our monthly profitability to go up by this amount."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
YOUR RESPONSE:
The memo announces the company's decision to move all its warehouses to one centralized location and states that the move will cut the company's warehouse rent by half. Using the above premises, the author claims that the company's monthly profitability is expected to increase by an amount equal to the decrease in rent. I find the author's claim baseless and naive for a number of reasons.
First of all, the author fails to address any extra expenses that the company would incur as a result of the movement of all its warehouses to one place. For instance, if the company's retail stores were spread out across the country, the company would face extra expenses to move the products from the warehouse to its remote stores, eating up the company's profits.
Second of all, the argument ignores the business implications of such a move. For instance, if the company sells fresh goods, the movement of such goods from its warehouse to distant stores will take time and hence the buyers will not buy such aged products. Furthermore, such a movement will necessitate a huge change in the supply chain mechanism of the company, resulting in increased spendings.
Summing up, I find the claim flawed because it ignores the cons of such a move. To strengthen the argument the author needs to present premises to ascertain that such a move would not increase the spendings and the revenues.
ESSAY QUESTION:
"Children today have an unprecedented number of options when it comes to entertainment. Since no parent can be aware of all of these options, it falls to the entertainment media to ensure that their content is suitable for young consumers."
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
YOUR RESPONSE:
While I agree that entertainment media should behave responsibly, parents can not wash their hands off simply because the responsibilities are difficult. It is wrong to put all the responsibility in hands of the entertainment industry. Even-though I understand the sensitivities of the parents, I have a number of reasons to back my view.
Firstly, it is morally wrong to deprive the world of all of the entertainment that is not suitable for children. Furthermore, media is not just for entertainment. In this increasingly virtual world, media serves as an important learning platform for people. One cannot deprive all of the mankind of some knowledge just because it is not suitable for children. For instance, knowledge about GMAT is very important for adults while it is largely considered taboo for atleast young children.
Secondly, after all the entertainment companies are profit driven enterprises whose revenues depend largely on adult audience. The kind of content that the media shows is driven by the expectations of the adult audience.
While it is true that it is virtually impossible for the parents to regulate the children from watching inappropriate content, same is the case with the companies as well. It is virtually impossible to restrict the viewership only to the adults.
In summing up, I do not agree that the entire responsibility should fall on the hands of the media. The regulation should happen from both the sides. Parents and the companies should collaborate and identify ways and means to make it impossible for children to view inappropriate content.
