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Issue Essay - truly timed - please rate

Expert replies
by myfish » Wed Oct 12, 2011 2:11 pm
This is one of the mba.com issue essay prompts I was not able to find a book with an example. If you have a book that has an example essay for this argument essay, please let me know!

"The primary responsibility of citizens is to obey their nation's civil and criminal laws."

The author states that he believes that a citizen's primary responsibility is to obey their own nation's laws. Although I agree to some degree with this statement, the statement leaves many questions open.

First of all, a nation's laws are important. They provide an underlining structure and often display the values a nation is made of. They also provide an outlook into what happens if these laws are broken, and therefore are used more or less successful as a deterrent or to entice people to follow them. Since these laws have been developed over centuries, they hardly provide a current list of all citizens' primary responsibilities. I am not sure if there are primary responsibilities, but if there are than they most likely include family values, religious values, heritage values and to some part the local laws.

Secondly, the underlining philosophical question of what is a humans primary responsibility within a nation may end up in a discussion about freedom and totalitarian systems.

The statement becomes even more questionable when one considers the amount of citizens that live in countries other than their own. Whose laws should they follow? According to the author, they should follow their nation's laws. That could lead to major problems for example for German citizens following their own speeding regulations on US highways.

Overall, I would disagree with the statement for the reasons mentioned. If the author would change the sentence so it refers to people obeying the laws of the country they are in, I would reconsider.
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Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

by throughmba » Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:38 pm
start is weak
and therefore are used more or less successful as a deterrent or to entice people to follow them.
confusing structure
Since these laws have been developed over centuries, they hardly provide a current list of all citizens' primary responsibilities.
I coudnt understand.
I am not sure if there are primary responsibilities, but if there are than they most likely include family values, religious values, heritage values and to some part the local laws.
then instead of than
the underlining


underlying would be better
the amount of citizens that live
who live
Whose laws should they follow?
Which law
That could lead to major problems for example for German citizens following their own speeding regulations on US highways.
You can give it a better structure.

I think you need practice.

You need to have a look at the 6 rated AWA essays.

You need to form a template in your AWA writing.

You need to pace your thinking to come up with better reasons.

You are good aat writing but its just the rust which needs to go.

Keep Writing.
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by myfish » Thu Oct 13, 2011 11:16 am
Thank you very much for your feedback. English is my third language so I am not very confident writing essays. I read all the issue essays that were in the Arco books. I was trying to avoid the template since the Gmat issue prompts are all over the place. You rated my argument issue a 5, so I guess I am a bit better there.

Thanks again so very much, I can only imagine how it feels to read these essay attempts. Thanks for doing it though!!

P.S. I asked you a while back in a different post, if you know of any books that have all the essays, besides the Arco 2nd and 3rd. Any recommendations?
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by throughmba » Thu Oct 13, 2011 11:29 am
You should look for the complete courses like MGMAT etc for AWA help. They are also helpful.
ThroughMBA Consulting
The No. 1 B-School Admission Consulting of U.K. is now the most Affordable.

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Alex Wilkins
Senior Admission Consultant, ThroughMBA.com
Panelist | MBA Admissions Achievers Meet
Interviewer | MIT Sloan | Former
Management Consultant | McKinsey & Company | Former

"Regardless of who you are or what you have been, You can make what you want to be."
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