Issue Essay - Please comment and rate

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Issue Essay - Please comment and rate

by pranilrao » Sun Aug 01, 2010 4:42 pm
This is my second issue essay. Any input is highly appreciated.


In some countries, television and radio programs are carefully censored for offensive language and beahavior. In other countries, there is little or no censorship.

In your views, to what extent should government or any other group be able to censor television or radio programs? Explain, giving relevanr reasons and/or examples to support your position.

In some countries, television and radio programs are carefully censored for offensive language and behavior. In other countries, there is little or no censorship. According to me government should intervene as a referee only up to a certain level to maintain entertainment decorum in the country.

Each countries social and cultural fabric differs from another and hence it makes sense that laws and rules pertaining to censorship of television and radio programs be enforced geographically. Certain Western countries are much advanced and the audience is assumed to be much mature as compared to certain Asian or Middle-Eastern countries. Hence, in such countries if rules are relaxed for censorship, that does not really affect the society and anything broadcast with such content is considered as part of life. However, if the same programming content is broadcast in certain developing countries, where offensive language and behavior is a taboo, it might create a major public outrage ultimately unsettling peoples mind and lives.

However, government control should not be so stringent as to curb artistic values and relevance of a program. If an artist is creating a movie on the inner workings of the underworld, then it is bound to have certain offensive language and behavior. If such a movie is censored by the government then the movie would not have any entertainment value and it would be a major dampener for artist and might discourage him or her to invest his energies into such a venture. This eventually might deprive the end audience which is the general public of some very good entertainment. In such a scenario, the government should exercise controlled aggression giving restricted viewing access to such a program, by mandating it to air after certain time in night.

In addition, many times we come across certain documentaries and informative programs which tell a lot about realities of life, but in doing so they need to add certain language and behavior content which can come across as offensive to certain segment of the population or be inappropriate for certain audiences. Imagine a documentary on a war where the reporter tries to tell the story from a soldier's point of view. In such a program there is no way one can avoid offensive language and behavior, due to its intent. Also, such programs should be handled carefully by the government and be allowed to view by certain mature audiences who would understand the intent of the program.

Hence, due to the reasons and examples above, government control of censorship of program should be only done up to certain extent where it does not deprive public from pure entertainment or information. Also, the government should take care of target audience when censoring any program.
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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by pranilrao » Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:14 pm
^^ bump ^^ please rate my essay!

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by grockit_andrea » Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:38 am
Your essay is of a good length, and you make some solid points against censorship. I think that you could improve it by providing more specific examples; instead of just mentioning that some documentaries could be offensive because they are addressing harsh realities like war, you could refer to a specific work; the same idea is true for your second body paragraph as well. More information about censorship in specific countries, instead just broad generalizations, would be another way to employ better examples.
You don't need to repeat the quote from the prompt verbatim at the beginning of your essay; that's a waste of your time and your reader's time, since you both already know what it says. Instead, paraphrase it in your thesis.
And finally, you might want to focus a little on your vocabulary and usage. You have some incorrect idioms, use a few words in ways that I don't think are completely consistent with your ideas here ("mature" in the second paragraph and "aggression" in the third both seem like they might not be quite the right terms for what you're saying), and make a few grammatical errors.
Overall, I think this is a pretty good essay; probably a 4.5 or even a 5. Just work on using more dynamic examples and leave some time at the end for editing. Good luck!
Andrea A.
Grockit Tutor
https://www.grockit.com

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by pranilrao » Tue Aug 10, 2010 8:19 am
thanks a lot for the comments Andrea!
I will work on the issues you have mentioned.

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