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Please rate my Analysis

by anantbhatia » Wed Sep 22, 2010 9:35 am
Hi all,

This is probably the most neglected section. I randomly chose a topic and wrote my first essay. I want people to evaluate it. This will help me a lot. I will post more essays only after some preparation. Your rating will help me access my improvement achieved during my preparation. Please feel free to point out errors or suggest improvements.

PS: I came across a few spelling mistakes but have not corrected them as I tried to emulate the test experience. Word count is 457.

The media today place too much emphasis on provocative images, and not enough emphasis on the ideas and events behind those images


With the advent of the electronic form of media, the media as a whole has become a lot more dependent on the images and videos. And this dependency is also a requirement as most readers or viewers of the news require some form of evidence along with the idea. Also, the consumers of the media have a shortage of time these days and want ready to consume, cooked news. Also, the consumers of the media spend most of the time at work and consume the media more often than not at leisure time as a way to vent their work frustration. This has instigated the media to include more gossips and provocative images in its articles.

Most newspapers have a picture that adorns the front page and adjescent to it is a news column that covers it. But there is not enough material in those columns that covers the details of the report. Most of the times, there is no background provided to that report. Apart from the catchy headline and the frontpage image, there is hardly anything substantial that catches the reader's attention. Take the case of the news channels. They report almost anything as breaking news. A ward-wrobe malfunction at a fashion show is shown repeatedly on the news channels as a breaking news. The channel, instead of covering the model's apathy, uncovers the model's body to the public who enjoy watching every bit of it repeatedly. The whole idea of making the public empathize with the model is lost in oblivion.

Be it electronic media or the print media, the cost of their production is highly subsidized by the advertisements. In fact, any website publishing free news is wholly dependent on advertisements to keep it running. The website must publish news or articles that draw more public attention. Thus, even a good news reporting agency becomes a victim of the advertiser who instigate them to produce more gossip articles in order to draw more crowd. This is substatiated by the fact that very few people turn over to the editorial of the newspapers because the editorials hardly have any gossips or provocative images in them. Nor do we see any advertisements around the editorial. The reason is clear. There are very few readers for the editorial and hence less reach for the advertisers.

So, the media is not entirely responsible for its laying emphasis on provocative images and gossips. It is the consumers who demand such articles or programmes. And it is the advertisers who target the majority for the maximum reach and ask the media to continue such columns or programmes.
Source: — GMAT Essays (AWA) |

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by saurabhmahajan » Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:09 pm
HI Anant,

1) I found your reply to be very wordy.
2) Please try to keep it simple and sweet.
3) Write short sentences.
4) Your use of words is good.

please dont take my words to be harsh on you, but told you whatever i have learned from my mistakes.
Thanks and regards,
Saurabh Mahajan

I can understand you not winning,but i will not forgive you for not trying.

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by anantbhatia » Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:06 am
Thanks a lot Saurabh. Will try to improve. Also, I would be very grateful if you could point out a few of the wordy sentences.

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