GMAT Essays (AWA)

I am trying to work to improve my AWA essay. Here is my baseline attempt at Analysis of an Issue. Please rate, thanks in advance!

"Responsibility for preserving the natural environment ultimately belongs to each individual person, not to government"

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Suppport your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

The topic of whether the responsibility of preserving the environment belongs to individuals or government is one over many people disagree. On the one hand government has access to many more resources to make an impact. On the other hand, individuals should take responsibility the protection of the environment around them. In the end, placing this responsibility with the individuals has several big problems while government participation has many benefits.

There are two major problems with placing conservation on individuals. First, there is little incentive for invididuals to protect the environment because the effects of pollution often do not affect the polluter directly. For example, consider a company which dumps toxic waste into a nearby river. As a result, he waste is carried down the river to another area where it begins to do damage to the environment. Furthermore, the waste could enter the drinking water system causing birth defects in the human population only generations later. Secondly, most individuals will act in their own self interest before choosing to conserve. the same company described earlier actually benefits from the toxic dumping because they do not have to pay for expensive toxic waste disposal. Faced with pressure to cut costs and maximize profits many indivdual communities, companies and families will choose thier interests instead of the environment's.

When responsibility of environment conservation is placed with governments the results are much better. The greatest advantage the government has is its ability to pass and enforce legistlation that forces the entire nation, not just a few individauls, to conserve. For example, consider the Clean Air Act passed several years ago. this act set specific emissions standards which all companies and invididuals had to comply with. Failure to do so would result in fines as well as bad publicity. The result of the law was that less pollution was going into the air.

Another benefit of government involvement is its ability to leverage large sums of money to solve problems. Not many inviduals has the resources to solve problems like development of cleaner energy or cleanup of a large body of water from an oil spill. Government does. Besides that government has the power to channel spending towards conservation of land for parks, research of energy efficient cars, and incentives for individuals who do conserve.

Ultimitely, All these considerations make government the appropirate entity to lead conservation efforts. HOwever, it is important for individuals to strive to do this as well. Governemtn should take measures to educate the public on the importance of conservation. This combined effort, lead by government will produce the best possible solution.

i would rate it with 4.5 points....

Try to work on grammar and also try to break the sentences, avoid using long sentences....

should refer to a new template rather than the one used by u...

also try reading other AWA's on this forum to check for your weakness (can tell u with my personnel exp)..

good luck...