GMAT Essays (AWA)

“Last year the local television news program IN FOCUS reported in its annual car and truck safety survey that over the course of the last ten years United Motors Vehicles were involved in at least 30% fewer fatal accidents to drivers that vehicles built by any other single manufacturer. Now United is developing a one of a kind computerized crash warning system for all its trucks. Clearly, anyone concerned with safety who is in the market for a new truck should buy a United Motors truck.


Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument….



The argument that anyone concerned with truck safety should buy a United Motors truck is not a fully convincing argument. First, the argument assumes all United Motor vehicles may be 30% less likely to be in a fatal crash. Second, the argument relies on data accumulated from voluntary surveys. Finally, the argument depend the assumption that a computerized crash system will keep drivers more safe. It is these reasons that the argument is simply an advertisement and not truly convincing.
The television program In Focus reported in its annual car and truck safety survey that over the course of the last 10 years United Motors vehicles were involved in at least 30% fewer fatal accidents. However, United Motors is only installing the one of a kind computer system in their trucks. If the United Motors truck is very safe, then it could do without the crash warning system. United Motors implies that it will not install these systems in their other vehicles. Therefore, United Motors trucks must be less safe than any other United Motors vehicle.
The In Focus survey depends on data gathered from the general population. Since surveys are voluntary, the data cannot include all United Motors customers over the last 10 years. For example, consider the surveys conducted for the current Presidential Election. These surveys represent a small sample of the population willing to answer specific questions. These surveys have margins of error that can be very large relative to the number of people interviewed for the survey. This argument does not include the accuracy of the In Focus survey data. If consumers do not know how accurate the survey data is, they cannot truly believe the results of the survey.
Finally, United Motors implies that the new computerized crash system will increase the safety of their trucks. However, this system cannot stop crashes from occurring. This system cannot improve the driver’s prowess and cannot overcome the conditions that cause fatal crashes. For example, if a driver is not wearing a seatbelt or driving a truck with a high roll over probability, warning system is useless.
In conclusion, the argument that anyone concerned with safety that is in the market for a new truck this year should buy a United Motors truck is flawed. The evidence to support the safety of United Motors truck depends on the accuracy of a survey. The argument could be strengthened by improving the reliability of the data provided in the survey. Also, United Motors should add safety features to all motor vehicles, not just the United Motors trucks. This would eliminate concern that United Motors trucks are less safe than United Motors cars. Last, United Motors should emphasize the use crash testing of their trucks. This would enable consumers to see that true safety comes from the efforts of the drivers and not computerized crash systems.


I timed this essay and didn't have any time to review it. I want to know what I could improve on besides time management.

any more raters?