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## Please, kindly review my AWA

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dirushee@hotmail.com Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts
Joined
28 Jun 2016
Posted:
2 messages

#### Please, kindly review my AWA

Wed Aug 10, 2016 10:20 pm
Hello,

I am posting below the essay on which I have worked.

Prompt

The following appeared in a memorandum from the head of a human resources department at a major automobile manufacturing company to the company's managers:
“Studies have found that employees of not-for-profit organizations and charities are often more highly motivated than employees of for-profit corporations to perform well at work when their performance is not being monitored or evaluated. Interviews with employees of not-for-profit organizations suggest that the reason for their greater motivation is the belief that their work helps to improve society. Because they believe in the importance of their work, they have personal reasons to perform well, even when no financial reward is present. Thus, if our corporation began donating a significant portion of its profits to humanitarian causes, our employees’ motivation and productivity would increase substantially and our overall profits would increase as well.”

The argument that the company would increase its overall profits by increasing the motivation of its employees through humanitarian donations is flawed. The author doesn’t make explicit cause-effect relationship. Furthermore, the author ignores the apples-to-apples comparison principle. Finally, the author omits an important factor in his argument.
Firstly, the author doesn’t make explicit cause-effect relationship between increase in motivation and increase in productivity, hence in profitability. Indeed, there is no evidence in the argument that more motivated employees will necessarily lead to more productive employees. Furthermore the company an automobile manufacturing company in which it is reasonable to think that most of the operations are automated.
Secondly, the author ignores the apples-to-apples comparison principle when he superimposes the motivation of not-for-profit organizations’ employees to the motivation of for-profit companies’ employees. Indeed, giving donations to humanitarian causes will not lead to increase in motivation if the employees are not interested in the humanitarian causes.
Finally, the author omits in his argument an important factor, which is the fact that the higher motivation of the employees happens when their performance is not being monitored or evaluated. But the argument fails to indicate whether the performance of the employees of the automobile company is being monitored or not. Accordingly, if the performance is already monitored, it is possible to assume that motivation won’t change.
In conclusion, this argument could be strengthened if the author provided information substantiating the relationship between motivation and productivity. The argument could also be strengthened if the author provided more information concerning the situation of the employees (being monitored or not; interested in humanitarian causes or not). As it stands, however, the argument is flawed for the reasons indicated.

Thank you !!

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