Please rate my analysis

[sasha79]

This is my first attempt at writing analysis of an argument essay. Please rate this..

"Those who are the most financially successful have worked the hardest."

I do not agree with the statement that financial success is an accurate barometer for hard work. As I will show through numerous examples, hard work is often not rewarded or motivated by a proportionate financial gain. Although there are examples where without diligent work, you are unable to achieve or hold on to financial success, it is not necessarily true that a financially insolvent person does not work hard. Also, the statement would have been better qualified if the measure of financial success and hard work were more concisely defined.

Firstly, I draw on the example of soldiers fighting the war in Iraq. They're putting their lives at stake to fight for the freedom of the country and their beliefs. However, their financial portfolio in a lot of cases probably does not appropriately reflect the amount of work they're putting in. Likewise, there are many people working multiple jobs at minimum wages, and they're earning just enough to support their family with a palsy amount left over. In the documentary "Bowling for Columbine" we see real life examples of the later scenario for numerous single working mothers in Denver. Their financial status certainly does not reflect the strenuous labor they're putting in.

Painting the picture on the reverse side, many individuals could have acquired healthy financial portfolio by inheriting family wealth or through winning a lottery. Certainly, none of these signify arduous labor on the part of the benefeciary.

Moreover, I believe that hard work alone is not sufficient in many cases to achieve financial success. There are other factors such as getting the right opportunities, which play a more significant role in defining financial success. Also, hard work is not always motivated with the hope of garnering financial success. There are many people who have dedicated their lives for the betterment of the community. Mother Teresa is an ideal example of this. Certainly, we cannot discount their hard work based on a lack of financial success.

Lastly, I want to argue that neither the measure of financial success nor arduous labor is well defined in the statement. Financial solvency to some may be being able to support their family while to others it may represent living the American dream of owning a house and car. Also, is hard work defined as manual labor or is it defined by putting in more than a minimum number of hours per week into work? The statement would certainly have been better qualified with these measures more clearly defined.

These are the reasons why I strongly disagree with the outlined opinion.