Pls Pls Give sugeestions for Argument Essay

[missionmba]

"In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart's Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960's, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires."

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The author of the magzine article cites that the the people are not concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheese. He also cites the example of Hearts Delight and Good Earth Cafe to support his point. On the first sight the author argument seems valid but on furthur analysis, the authors argument is not only flawed but also unpersuasive.

First, The author has considered only the examples of Hearts Delight and Good earth Cafe. The author has not cited any evidence which indicate that all the old vergetarian restaurents and fruits/ vegetable sellers are making a modest living as they do not sell fatty cheese or red meat. It is perhaps a possibilty that the mentioned shops have a bad reputation and people don't prefer buying stuff from these shops. The author should cite reasons which confirms that this situation is repersentative and raised concern is not true.

Second, The author has not presented any evidence which shows that the owner of the House of Beef business is related to red meat and fatty cheese. Perhaps the owner of the house of beef has a business which mainly deals in vegetables or fruits. To support his argument, the author should clarify the point that the owner of House of beef do not have any business which deals in Vegatables or fruits or anything which is not related to meat.

Third, The author cites that the owner of the new House of Beef has earned all the money by selling red meat or fatty cheese. The author has not provided any detail about the business of the ownner of the House of beef. It is perhaps a case that the owner has accumulated all his wealth from some other business may be from stock market or from a car business. To bolster his argument the author should clarify this point.

Fourth, author is measureing the peoples concerns only by considering the intake of red meat and fatty cheese. It is a possibility that though the people are very concerned with the intake of red meat and fatty food but they do not have any other option. It is possible that Red meat and fatty food is the only cheap and affordable source of food present in that area. To strengthen his point the author should provide necessary example.

In conclusion, the authors argument is not only flawed but also not convinving as it stands. To bolster his arument the author should include and clarify the aforementioned points.

[VP_Jim]

Your structure on this essay is excellent, as is your ability to spot errors in the author's reasoning. However, try to make your paragraphs a bit longer - first because longer essays score better, but also because elongating your paragraphs will deepen your analysis.

I'd recommend shooting for 3 body paragraphs with about 5 sentences each, rather than 4 body paragraphs with 3 sentences each.

Pretty good, though - I'll give you a 4.