Pls rate my first AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Issues

[erjamit]

AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Issues

ESSAY QUESTION:
"Although the modern information age has opened up channels of communication that never before existed, it, paradoxically, has destroyed the foundation of community by isolating individuals in a technological world that involves little real human interaction."

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the position stated above. Support your viewpoint using reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.


YOUR RESPONSE:
The opinion that the modern information age has opened a whole new world of communication but isolated individual interaction is quite an interesting one. This issue is increasingly becoming important in our times as many of us have an alter ego in the virtual world. The speaker states that individual interaction has suffered. However, the speaker overlooks the various benefits which it has to offer. In this essay, I will argue that information age is benefical to us in many ways.

First, the new tools available to us e.g. Chat messengers, mobile phones, emails, blogs etc. have given us the power to communicate with anyone in this world thereby, making new friends in different countries. We don't have to personally visit a country and meet its people to get to know about that place. We can discuss with them sitting at our home and getting all the desired information at our finger-tips. This way we can collect much more information along with many different perspectives as well.

Secondly, many people are not confident of their abilties to interact face-to-face with people. Such persons can quite comfortably talk through chat as they have an alter-ego in the virtual world. This definitely increases their confidence and hence helps them to overcome their phobia.

Lastly, we can now join a university course in another country and study over the internet. We don't need to be physically present in the university campus. We can join different universities and study different subjects at the same time. Hence, in the same span of time we can gain more knowledge.

In conclusion, I have argued that the moder information age has various merits which can enable us to broaden our horizon. Although, some human interaction is curtailed but there are ways in which these short-comings can be overcome e.g. using web-conferences. In this ever-increasing globalized world these communication channels have really proved to be a boon for humans.


I am not very happy with this effort. Pls guide how can I sharpen it more.

Thanks
Amit