Sentence Correction

Originally developed by ancient Hawaiians, surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops among people in their common quest to conquer nature.

A)surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
B)surfing's appeal is its unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
C)surfing's appeal to people is due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and developing camaraderie
D)surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, a backdrop that is unpredictable and that is, by turns, gracefully and serenely violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
E)surfing appeals to people due to their unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops

[spoiler]MGMAT; OA-A; [/spoiler]

Pls explain which elements are parallel and how do you know they are parallel

B/C - Originally developed by ancient Hawaiians - wrongly modifies surfing's appeal to people
E - usage of their - wrong.

Between A and D - I don't think parallelism is the issue as both are parallel

unusual confluence ... an unpredictable backdrop ... and the camaraderie - These are parallel in both A and D.

But 'an unpredictable backdrop that is' in A is preferred over 'a backdrop that is unpredictable and that is' as A is more concise and clear

IMO A.

Can you please expalin why E is wrong because of the usage of THEIR....When we talk of people as a group...we normally say People listened to the speech...people voted for their representative...but if we say each person voted for his/her representative...is it not right? I may be right..i may be wrong...please help...

patanjali.purpose wrote:Originally developed by ancient Hawaiians, surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops among people in their common quest to conquer nature.

A)surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
B)surfing's appeal is its unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
C)surfing's appeal to people is due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and developing camaraderie
D)surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, a backdrop that is unpredictable and that is, by turns, gracefully and serenely violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
E)surfing appeals to people due to their unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops

[spoiler]MGMAT; OA-A; [/spoiler]

Pls explain which elements are parallel and how do you know they are parallel

In B and C, developed incorrectly modifies appeal. It was not surfing's APPEAL but SURFING ITSELF that was originally DEVELOPED by ancient Hawaiians. Eliminate B and C.

In E, their seems to refer to people, implying that PEOPLE'S confluence of adrenaline, skill and high-paced maneuvering is why surfing has such appeal. The intended meaning is to attribute this confluence to the SPORT itself, not to the people. Eliminate E.

In D, serenely violent is an oxymoron: a contradiction in terms. Serene means peaceful and calm; violent means just the opposite. It makes no sense to say that surfing is peacefully violent. Eliminate D.

The best answer is A.

While A is the best answer here, I have two reservations:

Due to is an ADJECTIVE that means resulting from. Thus, A implies that PEOPLE are resulting from the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill and high-paced maneuvering -- clearly not the intended meaning.
I would avoid an answer choice that includes a possessive construction such as the SPORT'S confluence. The GMAT seems to prefer adding 's only to nouns that represent living things (people, animals, a company, etc.).

GMATGuruNY wrote:

patanjali.purpose wrote:Originally developed by ancient Hawaiians, surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops among people in their common quest to conquer nature.

A)surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
B)surfing's appeal is its unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
C)surfing's appeal to people is due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and developing camaraderie
D)surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, a backdrop that is unpredictable and that is, by turns, gracefully and serenely violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
E)surfing appeals to people due to their unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops

[spoiler]MGMAT; OA-A; [/spoiler]

Pls explain which elements are parallel and how do you know they are parallel

In B and C, developed incorrectly modifies appeal. It was not surfing's APPEAL but SURFING ITSELF that was originally DEVELOPED by ancient Hawaiians. Eliminate B and C.

In E, their seems to refer to people, implying that PEOPLE'S confluence of adrenaline, skill and high-paced maneuvering is why surfing has such appeal. The intended meaning is to attribute this confluence to the SPORT itself, not to the people. Eliminate E.

In D, serenely violent is an oxymoron: a contradiction in terms. Serene means peaceful and calm; violent means just the opposite. It makes no sense to say that surfing is peacefully violent. Eliminate D.

The best answer is A.

While A is the best answer here, I have two reservations:

Due to is an ADJECTIVE that means resulting from. Thus, A implies that PEOPLE are resulting from the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill and high-paced maneuvering -- clearly not the intended meaning.
I would avoid an answer choice that includes a possessive construction such as the SPORT'S confluence. The GMAT seems to prefer adding 's only to nouns that represent living things (people, animals, a company, etc.).

Thanks Mitch. I have the same opinion about DUE TO (I thought DUE TO does not modify PEOPLE and therefore we could drop A/D/E, But that means dropping all the five options as B/C has other errors).

My another concern is whether the original sentence contains three parallel elements: "the unusual confluence," "an unpredictable backdrop," and "the camaraderie"? The way sentence is written it is very difficult to understand that these THREE elements are parallel elements - I COULD NOT GET A CLUE FROM PUNCTUATIONS as well.

For example, "an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable," - here 'graceful and serene, violent and formidable' MODIFIES "AN UNPREDICTABLE BACKDROP", but I could not find a AND (OR THE 3RD LIST element to complete the series of modifiers to modify "AN UNPREDICTABLE BACKDROP") and therefore thought "and the camaraderie" is an element of LIST attached with "AN UNPREDICTABLE BACKDROP" - if this were true then element "AN UNPREDICTABLE BACKDROP...NATURE" becomes a modifier of THE PREVIOUS CLAUSE (ie Surfing...maneuvering). Could you pls suggest how is this analysis incorrect?

patanjali.purpose wrote:

GMATGuruNY wrote:

patanjali.purpose wrote:Originally developed by ancient Hawaiians, surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops among people in their common quest to conquer nature.

A)surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
B)surfing's appeal is its unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
C)surfing's appeal to people is due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and developing camaraderie
D)surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, a backdrop that is unpredictable and that is, by turns, gracefully and serenely violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
E)surfing appeals to people due to their unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops

[spoiler]MGMAT; OA-A; [/spoiler]

Pls explain which elements are parallel and how do you know they are parallel

In B and C, developed incorrectly modifies appeal. It was not surfing's APPEAL but SURFING ITSELF that was originally DEVELOPED by ancient Hawaiians. Eliminate B and C.

In E, their seems to refer to people, implying that PEOPLE'S confluence of adrenaline, skill and high-paced maneuvering is why surfing has such appeal. The intended meaning is to attribute this confluence to the SPORT itself, not to the people. Eliminate E.

In D, serenely violent is an oxymoron: a contradiction in terms. Serene means peaceful and calm; violent means just the opposite. It makes no sense to say that surfing is peacefully violent. Eliminate D.

The best answer is A.

While A is the best answer here, I have two reservations:

Due to is an ADJECTIVE that means resulting from. Thus, A implies that PEOPLE are resulting from the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill and high-paced maneuvering -- clearly not the intended meaning.
I would avoid an answer choice that includes a possessive construction such as the SPORT'S confluence. The GMAT seems to prefer adding 's only to nouns that represent living things (people, animals, a company, etc.).

Thanks Mitch. I have the same opinion about DUE TO (I thought DUE TO does not modify PEOPLE and therefore we could drop A/D/E, But that means dropping all the five options as B/C has other errors).

My another concern is whether the original sentence contains three parallel elements: "the unusual confluence," "an unpredictable backdrop," and "the camaraderie"? The way sentence is written it is very difficult to understand that these THREE elements are parallel elements - I COULD NOT GET A CLUE FROM PUNCTUATIONS as well.

For example, "an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable," - here 'graceful and serene, violent and formidable' MODIFIES "AN UNPREDICTABLE BACKDROP", but I could not find a AND (OR THE 3RD LIST element to complete the series of modifiers to modify "AN UNPREDICTABLE BACKDROP") and therefore thought "and the camaraderie" is an element of LIST attached with "AN UNPREDICTABLE BACKDROP" - if this were true then element "AN UNPREDICTABLE BACKDROP...NATURE" becomes a modifier of THE PREVIOUS CLAUSE (ie Surfing...maneuvering). Could you pls suggest how is this analysis incorrect?

Elements in a list must be PARALLEL.
Camaraderie (a NOUN) cannot be part of the list of ADJECTIVES (graceful and serene, violent and formidable) modifying the backdrop.
Thus, camaraderie must be part of the list of NOUNS that contribute to surfing's appeal: the CONFLUENCE, the BACKDROP, and the CAMARADERIE.

Hi Mitch, IMO, "Due to" modifies "appeals" from meaning perspective and not people and hence should be O.K to use in such a sentence. But then since "Due to" is an adjective it is incorrectly modifying "appeals". I think if A could be modified to accommodate such as "surfing's appeal ....due to ..." then it would make some sense, provided other grammatical errors are not induced in the process.

Totally agree with Mitch here regarding the use of "due to". I did a vertical scan of the answer choices to see whether any of the choices replaces "due to.." with "because of...", which in my opinion would have been better. I believe what we need here is an adverb that tells us why surfing appeals to people...

GMATGuruNY wrote:

patanjali.purpose wrote:

GMATGuruNY wrote:

patanjali.purpose wrote:Originally developed by ancient Hawaiians, surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops among people in their common quest to conquer nature.

A)surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
B)surfing's appeal is its unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
C)surfing's appeal to people is due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and developing camaraderie
D)surfing appeals to people due to the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, a backdrop that is unpredictable and that is, by turns, gracefully and serenely violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops
E)surfing appeals to people due to their unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill, and high paced maneuvering, an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable, and the camaraderie that often develops

[spoiler]MGMAT; OA-A; [/spoiler]

Pls explain which elements are parallel and how do you know they are parallel

In B and C, developed incorrectly modifies appeal. It was not surfing's APPEAL but SURFING ITSELF that was originally DEVELOPED by ancient Hawaiians. Eliminate B and C.

In E, their seems to refer to people, implying that PEOPLE'S confluence of adrenaline, skill and high-paced maneuvering is why surfing has such appeal. The intended meaning is to attribute this confluence to the SPORT itself, not to the people. Eliminate E.

In D, serenely violent is an oxymoron: a contradiction in terms. Serene means peaceful and calm; violent means just the opposite. It makes no sense to say that surfing is peacefully violent. Eliminate D.

The best answer is A.

While A is the best answer here, I have two reservations:

Due to is an ADJECTIVE that means resulting from. Thus, A implies that PEOPLE are resulting from the sport's unusual confluence of adrenaline, skill and high-paced maneuvering -- clearly not the intended meaning.
I would avoid an answer choice that includes a possessive construction such as the SPORT'S confluence. The GMAT seems to prefer adding 's only to nouns that represent living things (people, animals, a company, etc.).

Thanks Mitch. I have the same opinion about DUE TO (I thought DUE TO does not modify PEOPLE and therefore we could drop A/D/E, But that means dropping all the five options as B/C has other errors).

My another concern is whether the original sentence contains three parallel elements: "the unusual confluence," "an unpredictable backdrop," and "the camaraderie"? The way sentence is written it is very difficult to understand that these THREE elements are parallel elements - I COULD NOT GET A CLUE FROM PUNCTUATIONS as well.

For example, "an unpredictable backdrop that is, by turns, graceful and serene, violent and formidable," - here 'graceful and serene, violent and formidable' MODIFIES "AN UNPREDICTABLE BACKDROP", but I could not find a AND (OR THE 3RD LIST element to complete the series of modifiers to modify "AN UNPREDICTABLE BACKDROP") and therefore thought "and the camaraderie" is an element of LIST attached with "AN UNPREDICTABLE BACKDROP" - if this were true then element "AN UNPREDICTABLE BACKDROP...NATURE" becomes a modifier of THE PREVIOUS CLAUSE (ie Surfing...maneuvering). Could you pls suggest how is this analysis incorrect?

Elements in a list must be PARALLEL.
Camaraderie (a NOUN) cannot be part of the list of ADJECTIVES (graceful and serene, violent and formidable) modifying the backdrop.
Thus, camaraderie must be part of the list of NOUNS that contribute to surfing's appeal: the CONFLUENCE, the BACKDROP, and the CAMARADERIE.