GMAT Essays (AWA)

Thanks to every one in advance!
Kal

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ESSAY TOPIC:
The following appeared in a report presented for discussion at a meeting of the directors of a company that manufactures parts for heavy machinery.
“The falling revenues that the company is experiencing coincide with delays in manufacturing. These delays, in turn, are due in large part to poor planning in purchasing metals. Consider further that the manager of the department that handles purchasing of raw materials has an excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology, but knows little about the properties of metals. The company should, therefore, move the purchasing manager to the sales department and bring in a scientist from the research division to be manager of the purchasing department.”

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ESSAY ATTEMPT, 07/23/2009 11:10-11:45

MY NOTES:
A = falling revenues
B = delays in manufacturing
C = poor planning in purchasing metals

A and B occur together
C partly causes B

P = purchasing dept
S = sales department
Conclusion:
the manager of P is not knowledgable about the properties of metals and must be moved to S
put a scientist in charge of P

MY ESSAY:
The author of the report recommends that the manager of the purchasing department be moved to the sales department because of his good general business, psychology, and sociology expertise, but lack of scientific knowledge of metals. The author further recommends to have a scientist from the research division placed as a purchasing manager. In order to support his/her recommendation, the author argues that the current purchasing manager is responsible for the poor planning of purchasing metals, which, in turn, is partially responsible for a delay in manufacturing. Furthermore, he/she goes to establish a connection between the aforementioned delays and the falling revenues of the company.
The author's line of logic is weakened by several assumptions, which he/she needs to address in the report in order to be more convincing. First, why is knowledge about the properties of metals necessary for planning and purchasing metals? Second, is it possible that problems with planning and purchasing metal supplies be due to external to the purchasing department factors, such as not enough supply of these metals on the market affecting other similar companies as well.
Another assumption is that a scientist without business skills will do a better job running the department. He/she may be more knowledgeable of metals but less capable of dealing with other problems.
Finally, we must question the inferred correlation between manufacturing delays and falling revenues. Simply because they occur at the same time does not establish a causal relationship. Falling revenues may be due to demand, competitors and pricing, and ironically, to bad management of the sales division.