GMAT Essays (AWA)

odoaker wrote:Dear Brian,

since I was not very comfortable with the question, can you please take a look again at my essay? Your help is highly appreciated! What kind of score would I get?

Thanks,
Odoaker


"žMotorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers - some say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument....


The article state that a company that copied a motorcycle of a well-established company, but has failed to attract customers from that company in the United States, although offering the motorcycle copy at a cheaper price. According to the passage, the lack of sales may be because the motorcycle copy does not have the distinct loud noise of the original. The author argues that there must be other reasons, since European cars sell very well in the United States, although being usually quieter. To support his conclusion, the author states that the adverts for the original motorcycle promote durability and sleek lines instead of noisiness.
Although the author is right in concluding that there are other reasons for the customers not to buy the copied motorcycle, his line of reasoning is wrong. He is infering a conclusion from evidence that is to a great extent irrelevant. Although the information he gives seems to be correct, his conclusion cannot be inferred from it.

First of all, the passage states that the foreign motorcycle company failed to attract motorcycle X customers. To understand why this happened, we have to understand why people stick with a product. There are many reasons for it, such as customer satisfaction. If a customer has been using a particular product for some time, and he is very satisfied with the product, he will usually tend to be willing to buy the product from the same manufacturer in case of replacement. Even if the original product is a little bit more expensive, he will not divert from that product, since he already knows, that he will be satisfied. This is one good reason why the foreign company did not attract the customers who are already happy with the original motorcycle X.

Secondly, the author infers that because European cars, which are usually quieter than US cars, sell well, the quieter motorcycle copy should also sell. This, however, cannot be inferred. There is no evidence that the customer group of motorcycle X behaves in a similar way than the customer group for cars. The customer group for a certain type of motorcycles is usually quite small, whereas the customer group for cars is immense. In the small group of motorcycle customers you tend to find similar minded people, whereas all sorts of people buy cars. Therefore, the author's line of inference is flawed.

Thirdly, although the adverts for the motorcycle X do not promote its noisiness, customers that look for sleek lines and durability in a certain type of motorcycle may also tend to like the noisiness. Hence it cannot be inferred that this is a reason why potential motorcycle buyers should not buy the foreign copy. Afterall the adverts promote durability and since the foreign company is new, the customers have not experience with the foreign motorcycle copy and therefore no grounds to belief that the new motorcycle is as durable as the original.

To conclude, the author infers that there must be another reason why customers of a certain motorcycle do not switch to a cheaper, foreign alternative. He draws that conclusion from information given, which is not relevant. No mention is made, why people are continuing to buy the original product. Since that information is missing, we cannot draw a meaningful conclusion from it. Furthermore, since there is not information given on the customer group of the motorcycle, we cannot compare it to the so much larger customer group of cars and draw conclusions from this. Although the author comes to a conclusion which in itself seems correct, the way he supports this conclusion, however, is flawed.

odoaker wrote:Thanks a lot, Brian.

As I said, I wasn't too comfortable with the question and I am not surprised about your rating. To be honest, I did not have many ideas in those 30min - I'll think about your comments and try to improve my strategy to write an essay where I am not comfortable with the question.

Cheers,
Odoaker