GMAT Essays (AWA)

Prompt: "Without new ideas, any society will stagnate. New ideas can only be introduced in a society that permits freedom of expression. Therefore, if a society is to thrive, all limits on freedom of expression should be eliminated."

The argument provided is vague and lacks the appropriate focus needed to convince someone of its claim. This statement declares that in order for a society to move forward and "thrive", it must be supported with new ideas - ideas that can only be introduced in a society that provides total freedom of expression.

The argument would be stronger if examples of societies, perhaps along a spectrum in terms of the level of freedom of expression, were provided. Without any baselines for comparison, total freedom of expression might was well be deemed anarchy - hardly the societal utopia the writer of this claim is likely to be envisioning.

The claim could also be improved if it defined what "expression" has the potential to mean. Could someone not 'express' rage, hate, and discrimination? It is often the common basis of law that certain forms of expression - such as violence - not be condoned in a functioning, peaceful society.

This statement also doesn't entertain the possibility that members of society can produce new ideas even though they aren't 'permitted' freedom of expression. If lack of freedom of expression inhibits the ability to produce new ideas, then history would never have seen a revolution. This argument is very one-dimensional and does not examine the claims of its own declarations.

In conclusion, the argument provided does not offer enough evidence and clarity to support its own statement. It also fails to analyze objectively the claims that it makes, and is therefore cannot expect anyone to consider the argument justified.


So generally I just write off the cuff, but this argument caught me off guard as I wasn't prepared to be so critical of the wording used. I think the essay became disorganized and I strived to come to a singular conclusion but probably failed. Any tips?

Here is the Princeton Reviewer's Remarks
Content - Argument Essays
State the flaws in the argument more clearly.
Discuss one assumption in each paragraph.
Explain how to strengthen or weaken the argument.
You missed the causal assumption in the argument.

Structure
Take time to brainstorm and outline before you write.

Other
Hi! You have analyzed and discussed some flaws and assumptions in the argument. You need to focus on the entire prompt and discuss all the faulty reasoning in detail. Try to explain more ways of strengthening the argument. All the best!

Thanks! These videos definitely helped! (at least for the analysis one)

As for the Issues, I might not have been listening as intently as I could have been, because my most recent essay I kind of bombed because I didn't have any where to go once I started writing again.