GMAT AWA Essay - Feedback required - Essay 2

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GMAT AWA Essay - Feedback required - Essay 2

by Rashm » Thu Jul 30, 2015 8:39 pm
Argument -
The following appeared as part of an article in the business section of a local newspaper.

"Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the united states for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract Motorcycle X customers - some say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by Motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cares then to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also television advertisements for Motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice- overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track"


Analysis -
The argument talks about Motorcycle X which has been manufactured in the US for more than 70 years and is doing well in terms of sales compared to the sales of the same Motorcycle X copied and manufactured by a foreign company. Some people argue that the foreign company has failed to attract as much sales as Motorcycle X in United States only because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by Motorcycle X. This assumption is not logically convincing and people fail to consider the points below -

A loud roaring engine sound may not be the only thing customers are looking for in a Motorcycle. There are a lot of other factors like quality, durability, engine strength and mileage per hour that customers may be interested in, which is no where mentioned about the foreign company's product any where in the argument.

The argument mentions that TV advertisements for Motorcycle X highlight its other qualities like - durability and sleek lines and not its noisiness. The sales of the Motorcycle in the foreign company may therefore not be as much due to lack of any advertisements or lack of advertisements promoting features similar to those of Motorcycle X in the United States.

Also the sales of the product in the foreign company may not be as much due to the fact that people know it has copied the same product which has consistently been doing well in the United States and is selling it for a lesser price, which may mean that it has some flaw either in design or in quality making it much less preferable.

Since the argument fails to communicate the justifications mentioned above for the foreign company's product and assumes that people do not purchase it as much as Motorcycle X due to its engine lacking a loud noise, it fails to be well reasoned.

Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:56 am

by Rashm » Sat Aug 08, 2015 3:04 am
Hi Guys,

Please help me prepare by rating my essay. You can use the POLL option by rating my essay on a score of 1 to 6 :)

Thank you.