Can someone please rate my essay and let me know the flaws.

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ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a trade publication for the insurance industry:

"Each generation of Americans has lived longer than the ones preceding it, as the national life expectancy has approached 80 years old in recent years. The progress of medical technology shows no sign of abating. Therefore, we can confidently predict that most children born in America in the next decade will live past the age of ninety."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The argument is based on the premise that medical technology is bound to improve with each passing generation. The advancement in life expectancy is directly proportional to the medical advances if in case is a considerable assumption made. It might be highly likely that medical technology has reached its peak and no more progress can be made thenceforth. Hence, considerably making the conclusion that most Americans in the next decade will live past 90. Also, if we assume that medical technology does progress, it is not necessary that the rate of progress results in the average life expectancy to be above 90.It could be above 82, 85, 87 based highly upon the rate of medical advancement made in the coming decade.

Given the countless assumptions in the above argument, I believe the author has a very assertive conclusion not backed by facts.Though if the author can provide an evidence through an analysis of the past decades with solid data points which give a positive correlation between the advancement in medical technology and the life expectancy, the argument would become stronger.

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by crackverbal » Mon Nov 21, 2016 2:35 pm
"if in case is a considerable assumption made." - I am not sure what this sentence means. Rewrite it.
"thenceforth" - I think you meant henceforth.
"Hence, considerably making the conclusion that most Americans in the next decade will live past 90." - not a sentence.
"solid data points which give a positive correlation" - Usage of 'which' is incorrect. You need a comma before 'which'.

You need to write more. The amount that you have written is not sufficient for 30 minutes. You can include some more points -

based on the data available can we predict that the life expectancy will reach 90 years or more? What if the data says life expectancy will be less than 90 years? What if increase in life expectancy has reduced significantly over each generation?
What if 85 years(say for example) is the maximum life span that humans can achieve?
What if the progress in medical technology is in some other area not related to aging?
What if there are natural disasters? A new virus perhaps?
What if the economy collapses over the next decade? what if there are wars, famine?
What if many children born in America over the next decade migrate to other countries that do not excellent health care?

You can also structure your essay better. Here are some sample essays -
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by aditiniyer » Mon Nov 21, 2016 11:29 pm
Thanks a ton ! :) That was pretty helpful. Going through your website for more !

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by bradshaw48 » Mon Jul 31, 2017 3:29 am
The essay is good, but I feel that you for 30 minute time the length is short. To improve your speed and writing capability you need to write more and more and besides that you need to read more too.

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Good Luck!

by amandalove » Mon Jan 07, 2019 12:29 pm
The article is great, yet I feel that you for 30 minute time the length is short. To enhance your speed and composing capacity you have to compose to an ever increasing extent what's more that you have to peruse all the more as well.

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The article is great, yet I feel that you for 30 minute time the length is short. To enhance your speed and composing ability you have to compose to an ever increasing extent furthermore that you have to peruse all the more as well.

Regards: expert essay writers

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by maham171 » Wed Mar 27, 2019 12:29 am
You have written a good essay. The quality of your content is good but you should need to improve your writing speed and try to make the main points more clear and understandable. You did a great approach! Keep practicing.

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reply

by jenniferju » Sun Jul 28, 2019 10:02 am
I have written my response to this prompt below too. Please let me know if you want to compare and what your thoughts are on it!

The argument presented uses questionable assumptions and vague language to conclude what the life expectancy will be in the next decade. The argument assumes the current national life expectancy is an accurate prediction of those born in America and that there is potential event that will mitigate this growth within the next decade. Also, the argument uses vague language which overall lead this argument to be invalid.

The argument brings in unclear information by stating that "the national life expectancy is approaching 80". By concluding that those born in America will also have this rising life expectancy, there is an assumption that the national life expectancy is comprised of mostly those only born in America. Whether or not born-in Americans are placed higher or lower in the national average spectrum is unknown and cannot be directly correllated to conclude that Americans born in the country will live longer.

Secondly, there are illogical assumptions shown by concluding what is expected throughout the next decade. The arugment ignores whether there will be any external forces to mitigate this rising life expectancy, a limit to how medical technology can lengthen lives, or if humans can be accurately predicted in a 10 year time span. A confident prediction of how human lives will change is naive as there are many changes throughout any time period, and the argument does not account for any potential events.

Third, as the life expectancy is currently approaching 80 years, in order for the life expectancy in the next 10 years to reaching 90 years the life expectancy would have to be growing at approximately 1 year for each year that has passed. This may be the case, but without evidence this assumption cannot be proven. A previous shown study of the growth rate of life expectancy through the past several decades would provide the evidence to prove growth rate
assumption and strengthen the argument.

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Thank you for info!
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