GMAT Verbal & Essays

Zach.J.Dragone wrote:We are given a question and told to fix any issues with it:

"The patient's rare disease was treated using novel techniques developed at the medical school."

The correct answer:

"The patient's rare disease was treated through the use of novel techniques developed at the medical school."


I am not sure as to why the second answer is correct. Can anyone help??

Dear Zach,
I'm happy to help.

What is very tricky about GMAT SC sometimes is that they pick out sentences that are very naturally sounding, sentences that almost anyone would use, and yet which are 100% illogical.

The participle "using," as a present participle, is an active participle. As such, it must modify the agent of action, the person doing the "using."
A doctor, using novel techniques developed at the medical school, treated patient's rare disease.
That's 100% correct, because the participle has a bonafide actor is it modifying.

By contrast, this sentence is highly questionable:
The patient's rare disease was treated using novel techniques developed at the medical school.
One might argue that the long participial phrase, "using novel techniques developed at the medical school" is acting in an adverbial capacity, but nevertheless, there has to be an actor as the referent. This version lacks any mention of the person who was doing the "using." I don't know that this sentence is out-and-out wrong, but it is suspect enough that it would never be correct on the GMAT.

Now, their correct version is grammatically & logical correct, but that seems like an awfully long way to say it --- acceptable by not rhetorically optimal. I think the most preferable version would be something with a subject and much more active:

The doctors used novel techniques developed at the medical school to treat the patient's rare disease.

That version is crisp and bursting with direct action, a much more powerful version than their distended correct answer.

Does all this make sense?
Mike