SC OG#12 QNO#121 -> COMMA + AND Usage Clarification

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Hi All,

Below kind of sentence is always used to list out things right ?

.... COMMA + AND ......

So, in the below SC(OG 12 Qno#121),

Sales of wines declined in the late1980s,but they began to grow again after the 1991 report that linked moderate consumption of alcohol, and particularly of red wine, with a reduced risk of heart disease.

Does the RED colored portion correct ?

Thanks in advance.

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Uva
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by David@GMATPrepNow » Sun Sep 28, 2014 10:15 am
Hi Uva,

The COMMA + AND structure is used when adding a clause to an existing sentence, when the additional clause adds new information that is related to the information presented in the first part of the sentence. Here is an example:

The brown dog is the fastest in the pack, and it is also the biggest. <--- "It is also the biggest" is a an additional clause with new information.

In the sentence you quote, the "COMMA + AND" in "...moderate consumption of alcohol, and particularly of red wine..." is not necessary. The "particularly of red wine" is an example of the alcohol mentioned in the previous clause, but it is not a new clause by istelf and so does not need the AND. It does need the comma.

The other issue with the sentence is noted in red, below:

Sales of wines declined in the late 1980s, but they began to grow again after the 1991 report that linked moderate consumption of alcohol, particularly of red wine, with a reduced risk of heart disease.

"They" is a pronoun referring to the preceding subject, "sales of wines.," but it is not strictly necessary. It is not wrong to include it, but if there were two variations of the answer, one with "they" and one without, I would choose the one without because it is more concise.

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by Uva@90 » Sun Sep 28, 2014 6:55 pm
David@GMATPrepNow wrote:Hi Uva,

The COMMA + AND structure is used when adding a clause to an existing sentence, when the additional clause adds new information that is related to the information presented in the first part of the sentence. Here is an example:

The brown dog is the fastest in the pack, and it is also the biggest. <--- "It is also the biggest" is a an additional clause with new information.

In the sentence you quote, the "COMMA + AND" in "...moderate consumption of alcohol, and particularly of red wine..." is not necessary. The "particularly of red wine" is an example of the alcohol mentioned in the previous clause, but it is not a new clause by istelf and so does not need the AND. It does need the comma.

The other issue with the sentence is noted in red, below:

Sales of wines declined in the late 1980s, but they began to grow again after the 1991 report that linked moderate consumption of alcohol, particularly of red wine, with a reduced risk of heart disease.

"They" is a pronoun referring to the preceding subject, "sales of wines.," but it is not strictly necessary. It is not wrong to include it, but if there were two variations of the answer, one with "they" and one without, I would choose the one without because it is more concise.
Hi David,

Thanks a lot for your Information.

Even though it is not necessary OG marked it as the Correct one :'(

Here is the complete question,

Sales of wines declines in the late 1980s, but they began to grow again after the 1991 report that linked moderate consumption of alcohol, and particularly of red wine, with a reduced risk of heart disease.

A)they began to grow again after the 1991 report that linked moderate consumption of alcohol, and particularly of red wine, with a reduced risk of heart disease
B)after the 1991 report that linked a reduced risk of heart disease with a moderate alcohol consumption, particularly red wine, they began growing again
C)in a 1991 report, moderate alcohol consumption, and particularly of red wine, which was linked with a reduced risk of heart disease, caused them to begin to grow again
D)with a reduced risk of heart disease linked in a 1991 report with moderate alcohol consumption, in particular red wine, they began growing again
E)a reduced risk of heart disease linked to moderate alcohol consumption in a 1991 report, and in particular red wine, started them growing again

OA is A

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Uva.
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by ceilidh.erickson » Tue Sep 30, 2014 11:31 am
Hi Uva,

This SC question causes more consternation for my students than almost any other one in the OG! David's right, the "and" here is not necessary, and the GMAT usually fixes unnecessary verbiage in correct answers... but not always. This is an example of a non-standard, non-preferred grammatical structure, but it's not actually incorrect. You will occasionally see things like this on the GMAT, but not often. Unfortunately, because language is subjective, the GMAT won't always perfectly adhere to all of its own SC rules.

Here's what you should do whenever you get to a construction that makes you think "huh, this is awkward, but I don't know if it's wrong": first, go through all of the other answer choices and eliminate things that you know are wrong - grammar and meaning violations. You might find that what you initially thought was awkward is the only thing left!

A)they began to grow again after the 1991 report that linked moderate consumption of alcohol, and particularly of red wine, with a reduced risk of heart disease
Awkward, but nothing seems distinctly wrong...

B)after the 1991 report that linked a reduced risk of heart disease with a moderate alcohol consumption, particularly red wine, they began growing again
Here, "red wine" is modifying "consumption," not alcohol.

C)in a 1991 report, moderate alcohol consumption, and particularly of red wine, which was linked with a reduced risk of heart disease, caused them to begin to grow again
Same issue here

D)with a reduced risk of heart disease linked in a 1991 report with moderate alcohol consumption, in particular red wine, they began growing again
The modifier structure makes it seem like the moderate alcohol consumption is the thing linking a report to heart disease. Nonsensical.

E)a reduced risk of heart disease linked to moderate alcohol consumption in a 1991 report, and in particular red wine, started them growing again
Now "red wine" seems like it's modifying "report."

A is the only answer that has a sensical modifier structure. We have to pick it even if the "and" is awkward.
Ceilidh Erickson
EdM in Mind, Brain, and Education
Harvard Graduate School of Education