Analysis of Argument - Please rate my essay

[oza_gautam]

Hi Friends, This is my first essay. Please give me real feedback on how i did.

“Everywhere, it seems, there are clear and positive signs that people are becoming more respectful of one another’s differences.”
In your opinion, how accurate is the view expressed above? Use reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading to develop your position.
My Essay
Whoever believes that “Everywhere, it seems, there are clear and positive signs that people are becoming more respectful of one another’s differences.” is not watching the events unfolding around us at all.

Because if they were watching carefully, they would see that today, more then ever before, we are living in an intolerant world. I can show from just 2 examples that today we are living in a world that has scant respect for other opinions, a world that is totally and completely disrespectful of one another's differences.

A very recent example I can sight is the ban on same-GMAT marriages in California, USA. It's been years now since the time we came to know that different people have different kinds of sexual inclinations. It is a fact we can't deny anymore. But then just because the homosexuals are a minority, the heterosexual majority in the society decided to put a ban on the same-GMAT marriages that were approved by the city of San Francisco just 6 months ago. All of this on the grounds of moral and family values, on the grounds that how will the "Heterosexual" parents explain these difference to their children’s when they pose any questions.

If anyone were to feel that the example I gave in the previous paragraph was not strong enough, I challenge them to contradict my next example.

Since time immemorial we all have known that people have followed different faiths, different gods, and different customs. And this has in part lead to people dressing differently. And after 2000 years of recorded history, no one would argue about these facts of life. If someone disapproved of this fact, it would be as good as denying that the earth is round.

Believe it or not, the Government of France decided to disagree with that. It simply went ahead and banned school going kids from wearing a scarf or for that matter any headgear that would differentiate them from other kids. All of this under the pretext of security. The simple impact this ruling is going to have is that the non-sikh and non-muslim kids will grow up to believe that all the people on this earth are just the same. No differences exist or ever existed. Any one of this kid is up for rude shock if they were to visit an Asian middle-eastern country. Instead of confronting the issue of differences in humans and explaining it to the kids in an organized effort, the French authorities are trying to hide from the fact.

I can keep writing about various other examples from my home country India about how we suppress any differences in opinion, belief or living. But the French and Californian examples comes from places that have been considered one of the most secular and inclusive ones in the modern world. Until now the people from these places were believed to be very tolerant of one another’s differences. These examples go to show that even today we are as intolerant of one another’s differences we were 200 years ago.