mbaMisson's Essay Analysis

[mbaMissionJessica]

As schools release their essay questions, we offer tips on how to approach each question.

Here's HBS': https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/05/ ... 80%932010/

Harvard University (Harvard Business School) Essay Analysis, 2009–2010
May 26th, 2009 | Posted in MBA Essay Analysis, Blogroll

As we noted the other day, Harvard Business School (HBS) kicked off the admissions season with yet another early release of its essay questions. While Stanford has already followed suit and released its essay questions, we expect that many programs will stick with their late June/early July time frames. Time will tell…

HBS tends to tweak its essay questions ever so slightly each year. This year, HBS has maintained its first two mandatory questions and has removed one of its flexible choices. Gone is the question “What area of the world are you most curious about and why?” It has been replaced by two new questions (which are not really formulated in classic question form): “Tell us about a time when you made a difficult decision” and “Write a cover letter to your application introducing yourself to the Admissions Board.”

So, this year, HBS applicants will have two mandatory questions to answer and then will need to respond to two of five other questions, giving candidates greater opportunities to work to their strengths. Our analysis follows:

What are your three most substantial accomplishments and why do you view them as such? (600-word limit)

This mainstay of the Harvard MBA application challenges the applicant to quickly “wow” the reader with three individual accomplishments that, together, reveal a true depth of experience. Generally, the candidate should showcase different dimensions of him-/herself within the three subsections of this essay. Candidates can select from their professional, community, personal, academic (must be truly outstanding), athletic, interpersonal, experiential and entrepreneurial accomplishments, but certainly, no formula for the right mix of stories exists.

While this is HBS’s longest single essay in terms of word limit, many candidates treat it as three mini essays. Remember, though, that constructing individual stories within 200-word subsets is quite challenging. Candidates must keep in mind that the experiences they describe are crucial, but these descriptions only address half of HBS’s question. Indeed, two elements need to be addressed in this essay—(1) your accomplishments and (2) an analytical reflection on them (“why do you view them as such?”). The second half of this question should not be ignored; your personal thoughts and reflections are yours alone and will differentiate you from the pack.

What have you learned from a mistake? (400-word limit)

What makes this question interesting is that the Admissions Committee is not asking you to simply recount a failure or setback, which might allow you to shift the blame onto others or external circumstances. Instead, they are asking about a mistake that you have made or were in some way involved in making—which means that you cannot avoid taking personal responsibility for the error. We cannot emphasize this enough: the Admissions Committee wants to know that you can honestly and critically assess yourself. You do not need to be brutal, but your essay must leave you exposed in some way. Attempts to hide or minimize your mistake, or your role in it, will be transparent and will lessen the import of what you learned from it—as well as the strength of your essay. That said, however, be sure to note that this essay is not so much about the mistake itself as it is about what you learned from the mistake. So, you will need to explain the error, take responsibility in a mature manner and then be introspective, showing that learning occurred and led to real change in your thoughts and actions.

Please respond to two of the following (400-word limit each):

What would you like the MBA Admissions Board to know about your undergraduate academic experience?

Note: we generally do not recommend this essay question to candidates who are several years removed from their undergraduate experience, but exceptions are made for those who had truly extraordinary academic careers.

This question is quite open-ended, so you are not constrained to a historical recounting of your entire academic career; you can be selective and showcase the aspects that present you in the most positive light. This can be an opportunity to explain your choices (of school/major) and highlight your intellectual vitality—not review your coursework (the Admissions Committee has your transcript) or justify bad grades.

While “academic” is the operative word in this essay question, it can be interpreted broadly. Your academic experience can extend beyond the classroom and into, for example, vigorous discussions with professors during office hours. The idea is to show that while you were an undergraduate, you seized various opportunities to explore ideas and develop your own interests, thoughts and world view. You should try to create momentum in your essay, illustrating how you worked to discover your passions and then committed yourself to an appropriate course of study. However, this does not mean that you can only discuss your major; that quirky “Surrealist Cinema” or fascinating “Modern Architecture” class that was well outside your core course of study might be the perfect fodder to prove your intellectual curiosity and growth.

We should mention that we have seen successful candidates hone in on one spectacular academic experience that defined their academic career as a whole. Again, this essay need not be a historical recounting of an entire four-year degree. You have the freedom to offer what is important to you and showcase what will enable you to stand apart from others.

Discuss how you have engaged with a community or organization.

“How” is the key word in this essay question. The Admissions Committee does not want you to simply recite your activities (they will have access to a complete list of these from the “short answer” section of your application). They want to understand the thought process behind your involvement and the actions you have taken to create your personal impact.

Clearly, a candidate should choose this essay only if he/she has a profound connection to a community or organization. In many ways, this essay should be an expression of that connection, showing the spirit, meaning and purpose that inspired the engagement, as well as the efficacy of the involvement. Indeed, mere participation will not suffice. The Admissions Committee must take away from this essay that the applicant is a leader and has influenced a community or organization in an indelible way.

Tell us about a time when you made a difficult decision.

When approaching this essay, you must remember that for a decision to have been difficult you need to have weighed two competing and relatively equal sides of an argument. So, if your manager asked you to trade on insider information and you emphatically said, “No!” the human interaction might have been uncomfortable, but the decision itself should have been quite easy. When considering your response to this question, please ensure that you are balancing an issue, because the Admissions Committee is interested in how you reasoned and ultimately made your decision.

An effective essay will likely present the story of how the problem came to be and then emphasize the steps the applicant took to reason through it, either alone or by seeking the advice of others. The resolution of the problem need not be 100% favorable. After all, the choice was “difficult”—a strong essay will honestly assess the outcomes.

Write a cover letter to your application introducing yourself to the Admissions Board.

We beg of you, please do not start this essay with a version of the following line: “My name is Jeremy Shinewald and I am an applicant for the Harvard Business School Class of 2012.” Many (many!) will use this completely uninspiring opening and will immediately bore the individual reading the essay. Further, we advise candidates to not use all this space to explore and expound on their professional careers. Remember, the Admissions Committee has your resume, recommendations and responses to your short answer questions—they will therefore already have a strong sense of your professional history. Finally, we ask that you not flagrantly appeal to the Admissions Committee to accept you—let your story do the talking. Do not plead your case!

So, you now know what we advise you not to do, but what about what you should do? In many ways, this essay offers you “free space.” If you have a standout story that simply does not fit as a response to any of the other questions, you should be able to work it in here, but you will need to add context. If you feel that your personal circumstances are interesting or unusual, you might explore them in this essay. If you have something unique to contribute—remember, “unique” is the key word—you can discuss it here. The bottom line is that you can use this space to add personality and vitality to your candidacy, offering some emotional depth behind your potentially rigid accomplishments.

What is your career vision and why is this choice meaningful to you?

Many candidates feel anxious about not answering this question, because, for the most part, every top school asks candidates to directly discuss their goals. Well, for the record, mbaMission has worked with candidates in each of the past two years (i.e., since this essay became an option) who have succeeded in gaining admission to HBS without answering this question. It is, indeed, optional. Essentially, we feel that if you are truly passionate about a certain career path and this path has some distinctiveness to it, then you should answer this question. However, if you are still contemplating your career or can reveal something unique about yourself by answering one of the other essay questions instead, then you need not respond to this one.

If you choose to address this question, it offers you flexibility in discussing your career path, because the Admissions Committee wants to hear about vision, not narrow goals. Still, even though no blatant request is made for a description of your short- and long-term goals, you cannot afford to be whimsical. To ensure your credibility, you must demonstrate that you are focused in your ambitions and show that your desired career path is built on a legitimate, existing foundation.

HBS strives to restrict the illustrious HBS experience to those with clear vision, potential and purpose. The latter portion of this essay question (“why is this choice meaningful to you?”) places the onus on you to explore and explain your motivations. The question’s structure prevents superficial answers and forces you to show a fundamental understanding of, and personal connection to, your goals.

[mbaMissionJessica]

MIT: https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/06/ ... 2009-2010/

Massachusetts Institute of Technology (Sloan) Essay Analysis, 2009-2010
June 28th, 2009 | Posted in MBA Essay Analysis, Blogroll

Cover Letter

Prepare a cover letter (up to 500 words) seeking a place in the MIT Sloan MBA Program. Describe your accomplishments and include an example of how you had an impact on a group or organization. Your letter should conform to standard business correspondence and be addressed to Mr. Rod Garcia, Director of MBA Admissions.

MIT’s request for a cover letter is a bit unorthodox and can thus be perplexing to candidates—particularly because the Admissions Committee asks for an example of your “impact” in addition to implying that you should also explore your career goals and explain “Why MIT?” Still, you need not be daunted by the cover letter—as in any traditional personal statement, you should not just blandly document your work history, but rather should reveal your strengths and indeed your impact.

You would be wise to offer a powerful example; typically, we advise selecting a story from your work life and then showing a connection between it and your post-MBA goals. Thereafter, you should make the next logical connection, tying your goals to MIT Sloan (not just listing Sloan’s attributes). A quick point about your introduction: for some reason, candidates feel compelled to start cover letters with some version of “my name is X and I am applying to MIT….” This is a typical and boring introduction that offers information the school already possesses—and thus is not one that will bolster an applicant’s candidacy or profile. By creating a different and more compelling opening, you will grab and hold the attention of an Admissions Officer who has read thousands of these essays.

While the MIT cover letter differs from the typical personal statement, some “global” fundamentals still apply. Thus, we offer our “mbaMission Personal Statement Guide” to you, free of charge, via our online store. Please feel free to download your copy today.

Essays

We are interested in learning more about you and how you work, think, and act. For each essay, please provide a brief overview of the situation followed by a detailed description of your response. Please limit the experiences you discuss to those which have occurred in the past three years.

In each of the essays please describe in detail what you thought, felt, said, and did.

Essay 1: Please describe a time when you went beyond what was defined, expected, established, or popular. (500 words or less, limited to one page)

Typically, candidates consider times in which they possessed a bold vision and achieved ambitious goals, despite being discouraged by others, or times when no one had even realized an opportunity existed. While either circumstance is reasonable as a starting point, we suggest that candidates also consider instances when they revealed themselves to be independent thinkers, capable of finding their own path and/or adhering to morals and principles they hold dear. Regardless of which path you choose, by creating a clear picture of what was expected of you and then contrasting your choice—by describing your actions and outlining your reasoning and thoughts—you can present a compelling picture of yourself as a strong-minded and adventurous “hero.”

Essay 2: Please describe a time when you coached, trained, or mentored a person or group. (500 words or less, limited to one page)

Coaching, training and mentoring need not be considered exclusively in a formal context: “I was part of my company’s mentorship program and….” You can contemplate times when you were successful in an informal way, when you simply took the new hire under your wing or started and ran a few unsanctioned pre-work training sessions. The key to writing a strong essay is showing how you connected with your audience and, again, revealing your impact. Ideally, you would prove that there was a “before and after” and that your efforts led to a significant improvement in others’ abilities to contribute and in their confidence levels as well.

Essay 3: Please describe a time when you took responsibility for achieving an objective. (500 words or less, limited to one page)

This essay question is pretty open ended and will likely be a relief for those who felt constrained by the other two far more narrow questions above. Still, you should not simply paste in your favorite leadership story. You will need to be very clear about how you “took responsibility”—that you did not just lead but that you stated your intention to lead and thus created expectations for yourself. You can then explore how you achieved your goals and delivered on the expectations you created. (Note: You do not need to exclude instances in which you only partially achieved, or did not achieve, your goals, as long as you reveal the positive attributes of the experience.) At mbaMission, we recommend that candidates present their stories via a narrative structure. Do not just tell the reader what you accomplished, truly show the reader how you did it.

[mbaMissionJessica]

NYU: https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/07/ ... 2009-2010/

New York University (Stern) Essay Analysis, 2009-2010
July 4th, 2009 | Posted in MBA Essay Analysis, Blogroll

As promised, our NYU Stern essay analysis follows….

Essay 1. Professional Aspirations
(750-word maximum, double-spaced, 12-point font)
Think about the decisions you have made in your life. Answer the following:
(a) What choices have you made that led you to your current position?
(b) Why pursue an MBA at this point in your life?
(c) What is your career goal upon graduation from NYU Stern? What is your long-term career goal?

Because Personal Statements are similar from one application to the next, we have produced the “MBA Mission Personal Statement Guide.” We offer this guide to candidates free of charge, via our online store. Please feel free to download your copy today.

Essay 2. Your Stern Experience
(500-word maximum, double-spaced, 12-point font)
We take great care to shape the Stern community with individuals who possess both intellectual and interpersonal strengths. We seek individuals who are highly intelligent, collaborative, and committed to flourishing as Stern leaders. Please answer the following questions:
(a) What is your personal experience with the Stern community? Tell us what actions you have taken to learn about us.
(b) Describe what most excites you about Stern from both an academic and extracurricular perspective.
(c) How do you anticipate making your mark on the Stern community? Be specific about the roles you will take on and the impact you hope to achieve.

New York is an incredible asset for an MBA program, as it keeps students close to professional opportunities and attracts many great MBA candidates who simply love the city. However, from NYU’s perspective, New York can also be a liability, as many students who have worked in New York may be more focused on the lives that they have thus far been living, instead of immersing themselves in the Stern community. Stern is determined to select candidates who will truly buy-in to the community and this essay is a first step in weeding out those who have not done their homework or simply do not understand the nature of the experience.

To make your impression on the MBA Admissions Committee, you will need to discuss a priori experience with the school, via your personal interactions with alumni, students and/or admissions officers, and especially via a campus visit. For those who are abroad, it is still possible to learn a great deal by reaching out to the school to arrange to speak with current students or alumni by phone or to attend Stern outreach events abroad. Discussing repeated visits to the school’s Web sites will show only that you have achieved a minimum; it is vital that you show specific effort in your research and thus purpose in your application. Additionally, as you explore “what most excites you about Stern from an academic and extracurricular perspective” it is important that you not just create a long list of classes and professors, but that you connect and apply these experiences to your goals and interests. (Again, please consult the MBA Mission Personal Statement Guide, for examples.) Similarly, as you discuss your “mark on the community,” it is not sufficient to list the clubs you will join. It is important that you show how you will immerse yourself in the Stern community — remember, the school wants to see “impact.”

Essay 3. Personal Expression
Please describe yourself to your MBA classmates. You may use almost any method to convey your message (e.g., words, illustrations). Feel free to be creative.
All submissions become part of NYU Stern’s permanent records and cannot be returned for any reason. Please do not submit anything that must be viewed or played electronically (e.g., CDs, DVDs, MP3s, online links), that is perishable (e.g., food) or that has been worn (e.g., used clothing). If you submit a written essay, it should be 500 words maximum, double-spaced, 12-point font. If you are not submitting Essay 3 online, you are required to upload a brief description of your submission in your online application. Please note that on the online application checklist, you must select “Submitted Online” for Essay 3 even if you are mailing it.

In NYU’s famed essay three, you are offered a phenomenal opportunity to differentiate yourself in two distinct ways. First, you can differentiate yourself via the vehicle that you choose to reveal your persona. By choosing a creative and captivating format, you can grab the Admissions Committee’s attention and compel them to read your content more closely. Remember though, while a baseball card may be aesthetically pleasing, it may not be a good format because it limits the information that you can convey (a picture, your height, weight, birth date and a very brief bio). Instead, if you were to write a eulogy theoretically written by your best friend (don’t use this idea; it is now public) it would be sufficiently broad to allow you to probe all that is unique about your profile. Indeed, once you have set yourself apart via your “vehicle,” you advance the second mode of differentiation – your content. Ideally, you will exploit the opportunity to showcase a diversity of professional, personal, academic and community accomplishments, few of which will be advertised in essays 1 or 2. Essay three is the ideal opportunity to reveal your true personality and “likeability” beyond your professional/academic competencies.

[mbaMissionJessica]

Kellogg: https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/06/ ... 2008-2009/

Northwestern University (Kellogg) Essay Analysis, 2009-2010
June 28th, 2009 | Posted in MBA Essay Analysis, Blogroll

Essay 1
a) MBA Program applicants - Briefly assess your career progress to date. Elaborate on your future career plans and your motivation for pursuing a graduate degree at Kellogg. (600-word limit)

Because Personal Statements are similar from one application to the next, we have produced the “mbaMission Personal Statement Guide.” We offer this guide to candidates free of charge, via our online store. Please feel free to download your copy today.

Essay 2 – Describe your key leadership experiences and evaluate what leadership areas you hope to develop through your MBA experiences (600-word limit)

In this essay, you might offer two simple vignettes that showcase your leadership via a narrative, then evaluate yourself and illustrate certain areas for development. Although you are expected to be critical in discussing these areas for development, you should not deride your existing skills. Rather than thinking about ways in which you are lacking as a leader, you should focus on true opportunities to become a more complete and capable one. In this essay, (much as in Essays 1 and 3), specific reference is made to your future MBA experience. So, in answering this question, you should seize the opportunity to create a connection between yourself and Kellogg by showing that you understand how the school’s resources will facilitate your development as a leader.

Essay 3 – Assume you are evaluating your application from the perspective of a student member of the Kellogg Admissions Committee. Why would your peers select you to become a member of the Kellogg community? (600-word limit)

No doubt, many candidates will wonder whether they should respond to this question in first person or third person. We would guess that most applicants will choose to respond in third person, but there really is no right answer. What is important is that your content is compelling.

Because this essay is so open-ended, we strongly recommend that you outline your thoughts and try to avoid reviewing every single element of your profile. Many candidates will fail to write a compelling essay and will instead give brief attention to their transcript, GMAT score(s), professional history, community activities, personal life, etc. You only have six 600 words, so give careful thought to what a dispassionate outsider might think about you, and play to your strengths rather than surveying everything. In short, we encourage candidates to think in terms of anecdotes for this essay and not default to simply “listing” qualities and accomplishments.

A strong self-assessment will prepare you to not merely reiterate experiences but to instead effectively bring color to certain experiences and attributes and then apply them to the Kellogg community. By doing so, you will not only reveal your strengths and place them in a unique light, but you will also show your fit with Kellogg and prove to the Admissions Committee that you profoundly understand how you will contribute.

(Note: We strongly advise that you not get bogged down in discussing your GMAT score and/or GPA.)

Essay 4 - Complete one of the following three questions or statements. (400-word limit)
Reapplicants have the option to answer a question from this grouping, but this is not required.

a) Describe a time when you had to make an unpopular decision.

It is oh-so-difficult to be unpopular, and writing about being unpopular is even more difficult. Candidates should not make the mistake of simply writing about a challenging decision, but should make sure to write about a decision that was met with significant opposition. Of course, the reader will be interested in how you made your decision, how it was received and how you resolved the issue of its unpopularity (or did not resolve it). It is important that the reader not learn only that you made a tough call, but also that you followed through or reconsidered your decision and what you learned as a result of doing so.

b) People may be surprised to learn that I….

We suggest that candidates give profound thought to the image that they have presented thus far in their application and other essays before writing this essay. Many applicants believe that they are offering a unique window into their experiences and personality when they are really only offering a different side of the same coin: “You know that I am an engineer, but did you know that I also do training?” (This just won’t work.)

The reader needs to be truly surprised by what he/she learns about you and should be pleasantly shocked—the former college shot putter now performs in an ethnic dance troupe, for example. Of course, your story need not be as over the top as this, but the reader should certainly have the opportunity to get to know a new and ideally courageous side of you that he/she may not have otherwise expected or seen.

c) I wish the Admissions Committee had asked me……

This essay is essentially an open invitation to present anything vital about yourself—compelling stories or differentiators—that you have not otherwise been able to showcase. Basically, you could not ask for a better opportunity to explain to the Admissions Committee how you are unique. Many candidates use this essay to discuss a particular hobby or interest. If this is your choice, your inordinate passion for the activity in question must be fully and clearly expressed—otherwise, this window into your life will be boring and unconvincing. Ask yourself, “How can I show that I take this passion further than others?” This essay should not be a fallback option you choose because you have run out of creative ideas. Rather, it should allow you to offer your reader something exceptional about yourself and add depth of character to your application.

Required essay for reapplicants only - Since your previous application, what steps have you taken to strengthen your candidacy? (400-word limit)

Whether you have improved your academic record, received a promotion, begun a new and exciting project, increased your community involvement or taken on a personal challenge of sorts, the key to this essay is conveying a very deliberate path of achievement. Kellogg wants to know that you have been actively striving to improve, and that you have seized opportunities during the previous year to do so, because a Kellogg MBA is vital to you. This essay question will vary greatly from one candidate to the next, as each person’s needs and experiences will differ. We are more than happy to provide one-on-one assistance with this highly personal essay to ensure that the above requirements are met.

[mbaMissionJessica]

Stanford: https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/05/ ... 80%932010/

Stanford University (Stanford Graduate School of Business) Essay Analysis, 2009–2010
May 29th, 2009 | Posted in MBA Essay Analysis, Blogroll

We believe that before we even begin our analysis, the following quote from Stanford Admissions Director Derrick Bolton bears repeating:

“Because we want to discover who you are, resist the urge to ‘package’ yourself in order to come across in a way you think Stanford wants. Such attempts simply blur our understanding of who you are and what you can accomplish. We want to hear your genuine voice throughout the essays that you write and this is the time to think carefully about your values, your passions, your hopes and dreams.”

At mbaMission, we constantly tell candidates not to attempt to become something that they are not—something they mistakenly believe the Admissions Committee wants them to be. The schools want a class made up of diverse individuals, and by pandering to some expectation, you are basically aspiring to create a generic application, rather than one that will separate you from the pack.

Without further ado, our essay analysis follows:

Essay 1: What matters most to you, and why?

Clearly, because of the very personal nature of this essay, you must thoroughly contemplate your response. At mbaMission, we always brainstorm in depth with our candidates, pushing them to explore the psychological and philosophical motivations behind their goals and achievements to best help them determine their Stanford themes. We cannot emphasize this enough—you should not make a snap decision about the content of this essay. Even after candidates have identified their themes, we encourage them to discuss their ideas with those with whom they are closest; this step helps to validate deeply personal and authentic themes and thereby results in an essay that truly stands out.

Once you have challenged yourself and identified your main themes, you should not simply provide a handful of anecdotes that support your idea—or worse, recycle the ideas you used in your HBS three accomplishments essay. The best Stanford essays are true explorations of the concept or issue posed by the essay question, involving a thorough analysis of decisions, motives and successes/failures. In other words, your anecdotes constitute a recounting of moments of personal exploration and so are not ends in and of themselves. If you are merely telling stories and trying to tie in your preconceived conclusions, you are most likely not analyzing your experiences, but rather forcing a theme on the reader—and this will be transparent to the experienced eyes of Admissions Committee readers. In short, be sure to fully consider and develop your most sincere answers, outline your essays accordingly and then infuse your responses with your personality, thoughts and feelings. These are the first steps in crafting a compelling essay.

Essay 2: What are your career aspirations? How will your education at Stanford help you achieve them?

You will notice that Stanford does not explicitly ask about your short- and long-term career goals but instead about your “career aspirations.” Short- and long-term goals can be somewhat confining; Stanford’s “aspirations” offer a level of flexibility and allow you to provide a broader and more reasoned compendium of your objectives and the path you hope to take to reach them. Once you have provided this sketch, you must explain precisely how Stanford will help you achieve your goals. Essay 2 is not an opportunity to simply sing the school’s praises, but rather to profoundly connect with Stanford’s pedagogy and resources. You must convincingly explain how Stanford has the resources necessary for you to make your dreams and goals a reality.

Because Personal Statements are similar from one application to the next, we have produced the “mbaMission Personal Statement Guide.” We offer this guide to candidates free of charge, via our online store. Please feel free to download your copy today.

Essay 3: Answer two of the four questions below. Tell us not only what you did but also how you did it. What was the outcome? How did people respond? Only describe experiences that have occurred during the last three years.

Option A: Tell us about a time when you built or developed a team whose performance exceeded expectations.

Although this question is somewhat straightforward, the difference between a strong and a weak essay will be contained in the cause-and-effect relationship between the actions you took to create/develop the team and the team’s subsequent effectiveness. You must be sure that your essay reveals that you played a direct and integral role in the makeup, character and performance of your team and that your intent/actions had the desired effect.

Option B: Tell us about a time when you made a lasting impact on your organization.

Again, demonstrating the “how” element in this essay is every bit as important as presenting the results. When writing this essay, consider a before-and-after scenario—one in which the distinction between the situation you inherited and the situation you created is clear, thereby establishing yourself as the catalyst for the change. Further, you must establish that your influence was not fleeting, but enduring. Your impact need not be completely revolutionary—a training initiative, a change in process that brings efficiency, a new product or service could all work—but it should be indelible.

Option C: Tell us about a time when you motivated others to support your vision or initiative.

In these essay questions, Stanford tends to err on the side of minimalism. You should certainly focus on how you inspired others to join or encourage your initiative; however, this is only a starting point. You must complement this with information on how you motivated this group to achieve something special. In a short essay, incorporating conflict into the narrative can be difficult, but showing that your idea(s) met with some initial resistance is important in ensuring that your story is interesting to the reader. If, in your essay, you simply put forth an argument and everyone readily agrees, you will likely not have proven that you truly “motivated” others.

Option D: Tell us about a time when you went beyond what was defined, established, or expected.

In this essay, you can show yourself to be an independent thinker, capable of finding your own “true” path and/or adhering to morals and principles that you hold dear, particularly when those with influence are advising you otherwise. Alternatively, somewhat in the spirit of Option A, you can show that you had a bold vision and achieved ambitious goals, though in this case you may have achieved independently rather than as part of a team. In either case, by creating a clear picture of what was expected of you and then contrasting your choice—by describing your actions and outlining your reasoning and thoughts—you can present a compelling picture of yourself as a strong-minded and adventurous “hero.”

[mbaMissionJessica]

Wharton: https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/06/ ... 2009-2010/

University of Pennsylvania (Wharton) Essay Analysis, 2009-2010
June 16th, 2009 | Posted in MBA Essay Analysis, Blogroll

Essay 1: (750–1,000 words) As a leader in global business, Wharton is committed to sustaining “a truly global presence through its engagement in the world.” What goals are you committed to and why? How do you envision the Wharton MBA contributing to the attainment of those goals?

As you approach this essay, you should recognize that the first sentence about Wharton is a bit of an unintentional diversion. Wharton is not expecting every candidate to write about his/her “global presence through (his/her) engagement in the world.” The Admissions Committee does not want you to parrot the school’s goals, but rather to write sincerely about your own goals and then explain why they are important to you. Remember, there are no “right” or “wrong” goals for Wharton—applicants who try to cater to what they perceive the school wants end up writing essays that do not fit their personalities and experiences, or that are entirely bland and generic.

Because Personal Statements are similar from one application to the next, we have produced the “mbaMission Personal Statement Guide.” We offer this guide to candidates free of charge, via our online store. Please feel free to download your copy today.

Essay 2: (750–1,000 words) Tell us about a time when you had to adapt by accepting/understanding the perspective of people different from yourself.

Many MBA candidates who approach this essay will no doubt be troubled by the phrasing “different from yourself.” This phrase is intentionally left vague, because the school probably does not want to limit candidates by asking specifically about a cross-cultural experience. While such an experience is certainly fair game as a topic for this essay, the question essentially allows you to define your group “of people different from yourself” as anyone “separate” from you—for example, you may have once been persuaded by a team of unpaid interns at work, or a group of citizens changed your perspective on a particular political measure in your community, just to note two possibilities.

Of course, merely revealing that you accepted the opinions of others is not sufficient. Via a well written essay, you should impart the manner in which you weighed your own opinions against those of others and then took action to adapt—to change your approach to a problem or your opinion on an issue. In many, but not all, cases, your adaptation will act as the catalyst for change that enables the group to then achieve a positive outcome that otherwise would have been unachievable.

Essay 3: (500 words) Describe a failure that you have experienced. What role did you play, and what did you learn about yourself?

The best failure essays are often those that show reasoned optimism and tremendous momentum toward a goal—a goal that is ultimately derailed. In most cases, you will need to show that you were emotionally invested in your project/experience, which will enable the reader to connect with your story and vicariously experience your disappointment. If you were not invested at all, discussing the experience as a failure or learning experience is hardly credible.

Notably, in previous years, this question allowed candidates to discuss a “setback or failure,” but this year the setback option has been eliminated. We suspect that this is because discussing a “setback” can allow candidates to offload responsibility. For example, an athlete who experienced a “setback” in the form of a broken leg just before the start of a college sport season can discuss the trauma of dashed expectations without ever having to truly accept any blame for the problem, because it was happenstance. However, in the case of a failure, you must take some, if not all, of the responsibility for the results and reflect on what you would have done differently or what you would do differently going forward.

Indeed, the second part of the question, the reflective element, is vital. It is very easy to offer trite and clichéd statements about your response to the problem and what you learned about yourself. (Note: everyone learns resiliency, so consider another key learning.) Creating a truly unique statement about your road forward and lessons learned takes time, but the payoff will come in an essay that is much more personal and revelatory than thousands of others.

Essay 4: (500 words) Choose one of the following:

a. Give us a specific example of a time when you solved a complex problem.

The key to writing a successful essay for this option will be explaining a complex issue in a simple manner. It will be easy to get bogged down in writing about the specifics of the central problem—particularly if it is a technical problem—but what is more important is discussing the solving of that problem. Your solution need not be novel, though if it is, that is certainly fine. However, in most cases, the reader will want to learn about your creativity and people management skills more than your operational prowess, and will want to know that these qualities came to bear in resolving a situation that seemed otherwise intractable.

b. Tell us about something significant that you have done to improve yourself, in either your professional and/or personal endeavors.

In this essay, you should put far more weight on the road that you traveled than on the final destination. The Admissions Committee will be interested in how you identified an aspect of yourself that was ripe for improvement and will want to know exactly how you sacrificed and persevered to improve. By reading about your efforts in this area, the Admissions Committee will come to understand your personality—the path you took will illustrate your commitment to your professional, intellectual and/or personal growth and likely the achievement of an important goal.

[mbaMissionJessica]

Chicago's Essay Analysis is up: https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/07/ ... 2008-2009/

University of Chicago (Booth) Essay Analysis, 2009-2010
July 13th, 2009 | Posted in MBA Essay Analysis, Blogroll

1. How did you choose your most recent job/internship and how did this experience influence your future goals? What about the Chicago Booth MBA makes you feel it is the next best step in your career at this time? (750-1,000 words)

Because Personal Statements are similar from one application to the next, we have produced the “mbaMission Personal Statement Guide.” We offer this guide to candidates free of charge, via our online store. Please feel free to download your copy today.

Chicago Booth’s first essay question does warrant some additional discussion beyond the broadly applicable ideas available in our Personal Statement Guide, however. You should be sure to note that Booth asks you to focus on your most recent position, so you will need to be conscientious and not just paste in your career history section from your NYU application, for example. Further, you must also respond to the “how” question and not just tell the Admissions Committee what you accomplished in your most recent position. The Admissions Committee wants to understand that you have the ability to make reasoned professional decisions. So, your past professional choice will serve as the evidence they need to ensure that you are making the right choice in applying to Booth, that you have a sound career plan going forward (or an ability to react to changing circumstances) and that you will be thoughtful and resourceful about your career beyond Booth’s doors.

2. Please choose one of the following (500-750 words):

The two questions Booth offers as options for essay two will require you to be contrite and to accept your weaknesses, frailties or mistakes. Chicago Booth will be impressed by candidates’ abilities to be honest and will not look kindly on those who refuse to accept responsibility or who attempt to shift blame to others. Nevertheless, you do not need to turn your sword on yourself and engage in any savage condemnations. You will impress the Admissions Committee with honesty, rather than negatively surprise the committee with a brutal approach.

Describe a time when you wish you could have retracted something you said or did. When did you realize your mistake and how did you handle the situation?

While, again, you should strive to leave yourself exposed and reveal that you are not a perfect human being, we feel that after setting the stage for your mistake, you should focus the majority of your essay on how you resolved the issue (and as always, we emphasize the importance of conveying the “how” element). By showing your actions, you will, ideally, reveal your self-awareness, honesty, reasoned ability to resolve problems and more, all of which will enable you to effectively convey your overall strength of character.

-or-

Describe a time when you were surprised by feedback that you received. What was the feedback and why were you surprised?

As you write this essay, you might consider leading the reader through a narrative that clearly shows that you believe you are making a series of “correct” choices. Then, you might introduce the feedback that you received, which would then indicate a very sharp contrast to your actions. Indeed, this contrast is the crux of what makes your story interesting—the conflict between your intentions and reality. (Many of these essays fail because the contrast presented is not particularly sharp, and thus, the situation does not effectively catch the reader’s interest.) Even though the question of what you learned from the feedback is not asked, we feel that it would be appropriate for you to address this aspect of the situation and, in some cases, even show that you implemented changes accordingly going forward. This final element should not be belabored, however, and candidates should be careful not to go off on a long tangent about other experiences. Stay focused on the core conflict and the reasons you were ultimately “surprised” by the feedback you received.

Slide Presentation

We have asked for a great deal of information throughout this application and now invite you to tell us about yourself. In four slides or less please answer the following question: What have you not already shared in your application that you would like your future classmates to know about you?

We have set forth the following guidelines for you to consider when creating your presentation. The content is completely up to you. There is no right or wrong approach to this essay. Feel free to use the software you are most comfortable with. Acceptable formats for upload in the online application system are PowerPoint or PDF. There is a strict maximum of four (4) slides, though you can provide fewer than four if you choose. Slides will be printed and added to your file for review; therefore, flash, hyperlinks, embedded videos, music, etc. will not be viewed by the committee. You are limited to text and static images to convey your points. Color may be used.

Slides will be evaluated on the quality of content and ability to convey your ideas, not on technical expertise or presentation. You are welcome to attach a document containing notes if you feel a deeper explanation of your slides is necessary. However, the hope is the slide is able to stand alone and convey your ideas clearly. You will not be penalized for adding notes, but you should not construct a slide with the intention of using the notes section as a consistent means of explanation.

At mbaMission, we really welcome this creative approach to self-expression. Chicago’s unique slide presentation is truly a blank slate and thus presents an incredible opportunity for candidates to differentiate themselves by creating a concept that is entirely distinct from thousands of others. What is great about this option is that in a traditional essay, your task is to differentiate yourself using only your content, but in this presentation, you can showcase your unique attributes through your content while also captivating your audience via your creativity, made clear through your design. (This is not to suggest that the slide presentation is an artistic competition, but we do feel that the presentation has the potential to engage and hold the reader/viewer in a unique way and thus is an opportunity that should be seized to maximum effect.)

Because the slide presentation leaves so much room for creative interpretation, we would need to collaborate directly with candidates to devise personal strategies. As a general rule, however, we recommend that candidates first consider their content and then devise a design that will allow them to best communicate all of their important information in a unique and compelling way. You do not want to make the mistake of choosing a method of presentation that is distinct and captivating but that limits your ability to tell your story in its entirety. Fully understanding and crafting your content first will prevent this from happening and will start you on the right track.

[mbaMissionJessica]

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/07/ ... 80%932010/

UC-Berkeley (Haas) Essay Analysis, 2009–2010
July 23rd, 2009 | Posted in MBA Essay Analysis, Blogroll

Candidates often struggle with the demands of the Haas application. Our advice to you? Don’t just start writing. You should instead brainstorm extensively and map out your strategy, so that you avoid redundancies and give a complete picture of who you are as candidate.

Short Answer:
1. What are you most passionate about? Why? (250 word maximum)

This question really challenges candidates to think about and be philosophical about themselves. Once you have determined what you are indeed most passionate about, you should stop to consider the manifestation of that passion. You need to show how you are passionate and not just explain that you are passionate.

Example 1 (Bad): I love cooking and cook frequently for friends and family, often experimenting with new ingredients.
Example 2 (Good): After three hours of wandering through Chinatown, I finally found fresh Daikon and ran home to add this final ingredient to my soup.

While cooking may not be the most ideal/serious passion (unless it becomes a metaphor for a broader theme of spontaneity, creativity etc.) our point is that your passion needs to come through via your actions.

2. Tell us about your most significant accomplishment. (250 word maximum)

Your most significant accomplishment can be from any sphere –professional, community, academic, personal– but you should try to maintain a balance and represent as many dimensions of your candidacy as possible through these short answers – meaning that you will have to exercise judgment. Even in 250 words, you can tell the reader a brief story. The key to this essay is to choose an experience that is simple but powerful – one that speaks for itself and draws the reader in, allowing the reader to come to a clear conclusion about your capabilities.

3. At Haas, we value innovation and creativity. Describe a time when you created positive change in a group or an organization. (250 word maximum)

If you have not yet offered a professional experience at this point, now is the time – for the sake of balance. Your example of innovation need not be earth-shattering, but can simply be the story of you thinking differently or making a unique choice. When telling a story, even in 250 words, you still need to provide a discernible beginning, middle and end, which in this case probably will be your discovery of the idea, actions you took to implement and clear results brought forth by your actions.

4. What steps have you taken to learn about the Berkeley MBA program, and what factors have influenced your decision to apply? (250 word maximum)

Quite simply, Haas wants to know that you are applying for the right reasons – for the program’s brains (academics, environment, etc.), not its beauty (rankings). You need to explain your connection with the program and show that you have engaged in a process of discovery and self-evaluation in coming to the conclusion that Haas is for you. The more personal and detailed you are in your approach, the more compelling your answer will be.

A good test of your sincerity is deleting any reference to Haas and inserting the name of another school. If your essay still makes sense with another school’s name inserted, the odds are that your response is too generic. If it your statement becomes nonsensical because you have another school’s name relating to Haas-specific resources, you have done your job (and should reinsert Haas!).
We strongly suggest that you read our interview with Peter Johnson, Admissions Director at Haas before answering this question and long essay two, below.

Required Essays:
1. Give us an example of a situation in which you displayed leadership. (500 word maximum)

You might feel relieved to find a 500 word maximum at this point. However, by now, your depth of experience might be challenged; some find it difficult to offer a strong answer to this question, after discussing their most significant accomplishment in short answer two. Clearly, you should reserve a story that is more complicated for this essay and one in which your actions are methodical. Whereas the short essay demands an impressive “blast” of experience, in this essay the AdCom is more interested in understanding your leadership style and thus your process orientation. Your results are still quite important, but the characteristics that you display on the path to these results should be revealing.

2. What are your post-MBA short-term and long-term career goals? How do your professional experiences relate to these goals? How will an MBA from Berkeley help you achieve these specific career goals? (1000 word maximum)

Haas inverts the traditional structure of this essay question, placing your goals before your career experience. You too can invert your answer or you can begin with your career context; it does not really matter, as long as you answer the question in full. Because Personal Statements are similar from one application to the next, we have produced the “MBA Mission Personal Statement Guide.” We offer our guide to candidates free of charge, via our online store. Please feel free to download your copy today.

[mbaMissionJessica]

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/07/ ... 80%932010/

University of Virginia (Darden) Essay Analysis, 2009–2010
July 29th, 2009 | Posted in MBA Essay Analysis, Blogroll

For the 2009–2010 application season, Darden has reduced the number of essay questions on its MBA application from three to just two, though the total word count remains the same at 1,000. The small number of questions means that applicants will need to exercise tighter focus to ensure that all the relevant points are included.

How have the changes in the global economy over the last 18 months affected you and your plan for the future? (400 words)

Darden’s Admissions Committee undoubtedly recognizes that a higher than usual proportion of applicants this year will most likely have grappled with the issue—or at least the specter—of layoffs, unemployment or underemployment, and is responding with this head-on question. Getting the topic out into the open this way allows such applicants to address this element of their candidacies right off the bat. Most MBA admissions personnel with whom mbaMission has spoken recently have stated that what they are most curious about learning about unemployed or laid-off candidates is what the applicant has been doing to further his/her personal or professional growth in the meantime, so this is certainly a topic that should not be overlooked.

Of course, this question is not only relevant for candidates who have had to face losing their jobs, but is also a key topic for aspiring MBAs who are considering careers in the finance industry. Those applicants should explain how and why the changes in this industry have influenced their short- and/or long-term goals and their interest in or passion for the field. Those applicants who have been fortunate enough to avoid an interruption in their career thus far and do not plan to pursue a finance-related track should still have significant things to say about how their perception of the business world may have altered over the past year and a half.

All candidates may want to consider addressing the ethics angle, given that unethical behavior (e.g., predatory lending) has received much of the blame for the economic downturn. This in turn should lead in to how what one has seen and learned will play a part in what kind of leader the applicant will be in his/her career going forward. This point is particularly relevant with respect to Darden, because of the school’s long-held and intense focus on ethics in business. Ultimately, applicants should take care not to focus too exclusively on the lessons learned and gloss over the “plans for the future” aspect of the question. The school wants to know how you will put your takeaways to good use going forward, which to some degree will also reveal how you will likely apply and benefit from the skills you will learn at Business School.

What will you contribute to an MBA program and what are your personal and professional expectations of the program you attend? (600 words)

At first glance, this question sounds rather overarching and general, and indeed, the Admissions Committee seems to be asking for candidates’ broad ideas on these points by using the phrases “an MBA program” and “the program you attend” rather than referring to Darden’s program in particular. However, the veiled follow-up question is surely “how did these lead you to choose Darden?” This is an obvious opportunity for candidates to highlight their unique qualities, experiences and abilities and to do so within the context of what makes Darden unique as well, so applicants should take the time to research—if they have not already done so—the standout characteristics of the school’s MBA program, such as the case method, the focus on general management, Learning Teams, etc.

For the second part of the question, applicants should consider their short- and long-term goals and why they need, in light of their past personal and professional experiences, from an MBA education and school that will enable them to attain these goals. Again, these needs should ideally connect to specific aspects and resources of the Darden program for this essay response to be most effective. In essence, this question is a kind of Personal Statement, so applicants may find consulting our “mbaMission Personal Statement Guide” helpful in brainstorming. We offer this guide to candidates free of charge, via our online store. Please feel free to download your copy today.

[mbaMissionJessica]

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/07/ ... 2009-2010/

Columbia University (Columbia Business School) Essay Analysis, 2009-2010
July 28th, 2009 | Posted in MBA Essay Analysis, Blogroll

CBS has released its essays and…. nothing has changed. Our analysis of their essays follows:

What are your short-term and long-term post-MBA goals? How will Columbia Business School help you achieve these goals? (Recommended 750 word limit) : *

Because Personal Statements are similar from one application to the next, we have produced the “MBA Mission Personal Statement Guide.” We offer this guide to candidates free of charge, via our online store. Please feel free to download your copy today.

For additional information on the Columbia Business School experience, please consult the MBA Mission Insider’s Guide series.

Master Classes are the epitome of bridging the gap between theory and practice at Columbia Business School. View link below. Please provide an example from your own life in which practical experience taught you more than theory alone. (Recommended 500 word limit) :

View with Real Player: https://merlin.gsb.columbia.edu:8080/ram ... s-promo.rm

View via Google: https://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... 1370&hl=en

CBS asks the reader to go online and learn about a facet of the Columbia experience, the Master Class, that is gaining prominence in its curriculum. While the video itself is entertaining and educational, it is only tangentially related to the core question, which requires you to describe a time when practice trumped theory. Candidates should resist the temptation to fawn on CBS and laud the Master Class and should instead focus on providing an example of such a case.An obvious starting point for candidates is to consider times when they have learned something theoretically. However, you need not only think of times when you were in a college classroom or some sort of corporate training event. You should expand your concept of theory to include all times when you were presented with or considered ideas. Indeed, a commentator on TV or the fellow who owns the breakfast shop that you frequent (not to forget your own times of reflection and imagination) can all present valid theories that you have actually put into practice.

You should certainly show that you were/are open to ideas and that you are willing to test them. However, it is the process of testing that you, like CBS, should emphasize. So, if the first part of your essay is an explanation of how you were captivated by an idea, the second part should be the testing and learning. Clearly, we need to understand a contrast between these two phases in order to validate the argument that CBS presents. In this essay question, CBS does not explicitly ask for your key learnings, but it is appropriate for you to offer them nonetheless. By reflecting on your experience, you will emphasize the power of practice, in teaching/learning enduring lessons.

Please provide an example of a team failure of which you’ve been a part. If given a second chance, what would you do differently? (Recommended 500 word limit) :

The crucial word in this essay question is “team.” Indeed, this is not a question about an individual failure. So, you should not attempt to stretch an essay about an individual failure to fit this question. You should, instead, attempt to identify a time when a team did not achieve its desired results (it will be important to “show” this time through a narrative structure) and analyze how and where the breakdown occurred, generally being diplomatic about assessing responsibility and sharing some of the “blame” yourself.

It is important to note that a team failure does not need to be the story of a chaotic breakdown with people throwing chairs at each other. A failure can occur due to a passive approach to a problem – for example, the team does not understand its responsibilities and those senior to the team are not empowering the team to make choices. Regardless of the nature of the failure itself, it will be important for you to show that you have a nuanced understanding of the dynamics and that you are able to reflect and present a compelling theory (yes, theory!) for how you would have otherwise approached this situation.

[mbaMissionJessica]

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/07/ ... 2009-2010/

Cornell University (Johnson) Essay Analysis, 2009-2010
July 30th, 2009 | Posted in MBA Essay Analysis, Blogroll

We have spoken with the Cornell (Johnson) admissions office and their questions will remain the same this year. Without further adieu, our analysis….

1) Describe your greatest professional achievement and how you were able to add value to your organization. (400 word limit)

This question is very straightforward, with only the most minor wrinkle: be sure that you offer an accomplishment that shows that you added value to your organization. Virtually all accomplishments can be said to have added value in some capacity, but nonetheless, you must remain cognizant of the second half of the question. As you consider your response, you should be sure to create a narrative structure that will engage the reader. Many writers will end the mystery quite quickly and state their accomplishment in the first sentence. After that, what point is there to the rest of the essay? Readers of our Monday Morning Essay Tips will know that this is a very easy way to disengage the reader. So, be careful to tell the story of how you achieved what you did in fact achieve, not just that you achieved something special. There is indeed a difference.

2) What career do you plan to pursue upon completion of an MBA degree and why? How will the Johnson School help you achieve this goal? (400 word limit)

Because Personal Statements are similar from one application to the next, we have produced the “MBA Mission Personal Statement Guide.” We offer this guide to candidates free of charge, via our online store. Please feel free to download your copy today.

3) You are the author for the book of Your Life Story. Please write the Table of Contents for the book. (400 word limit)

This essay question follows in the unique and creative model of NYU’s essay three, UCLA’s audio file and Chicago’s Powerpoint presentation, but for some reason, candidates seem hung up on what they perceive to be its rigid structure. So, we recommend that before you even put your hands on the keyboard, you head to your local bookstore and leaf through various fiction and nonfiction texts, as well as magazines. There, you may just find some inspiration through which you will arrive at your own unique approach, and you may also find a way to break free of the confines of the rigid table of contents to add crucial information.

We would like to make it clear to candidates that they need not order their chapters chronologically and that they need not deal with their finite lives to date. Candidates may have interesting family histories or strong visions for the future and may incorporate these elements in their tables of contents to give an even greater sense of self. Candidates may organize their tables thematically, break their hypothetical books into parts and more. As the cliché goes, the only limit is your imagination.

[erins]

Yale SOM Essay Analysis, 2009–2010
August 2nd, 2009 | Posted in MBA Essay Analysis

SHORT ANSWERS

Please answer each of the four questions below with a short paragraph of no more than 150 words. This is an opportunity to distill your core ideas, values, goals and motivations into a set of snapshots that help tell us who you are, where you are headed, and why. (600 words maximum)

Taken together, the first four short-answer questions on Yale’s MBA application encompass what is usually covered in a standard Personal Statement question. Breaking these elements down into separate questions and disengaging them from each other minimizes the opportunity for applicants to get bogged down in generalizations and indicates that the school wants direct, clear responses and analysis. Yale even introduces the suite of questions by stating specifically that it expects candidates to “distill” their thoughts into “short paragraphs” and “snapshots,” further driving home the point that the Admissions Committee wants targeted, personalized and no-frills answers.

1. What are your professional goals immediately after you receive your MBA?
2. What are your long-term career aspirations?
3. Why are you choosing to pursue an MBA and why now? (If you plan to use your MBA experience to make a significant change in the field or nature of your career, please tell us what you have done to prepare for this transition.)

As mentioned, these questions involve primary elements of a typical Personal Statement essay question—short-term goals, long-term goals, why an MBA and why now—so we encourage candidates to consult our “mbaMission Personal Statement Guide,” which we offer free of charge, via our online store. Please feel free to download your copy today.

Of note in question 3 is the parenthetical statement, which shows that Yale expects candidates to take some ownership of their career transition and not anticipate that the MBA degree will be a “magic bullet” of sorts in taking them successfully from one career path to another. Being able to show that you have proactively taken steps to learn more about or begin developing skills appropriate for your new function or industry will in turn illustrate your passion, commitment and motivation—which, of course, all candidates should strive to convey in their essays, not just career changers, and not just for this question.

4. What attracts you specifically to the Yale School of Management’s MBA program?

For this question, you must thoroughly do your research so as to best be able to indicate direct ties between what Yale offers and your professional goals, personal beliefs, study style, etc. The more in depth your knowledge of the school, the more easy pinpointing specific resources and offerings will be in the context of your future success, both as a business school student and in your career after graduation, and the more effective you will be able to be in the mere 150 words allotted for your response. To attain this level of understanding of the school, you will need to go beyond the school’s view book and Web site and reach out to current students, alumni and faculty members, and, if at all possible, visit the school and sit in on a class or two.

Though this question does not call, or even allow, for a recounting of your past accomplishments and experience, there should be some reference to where you are coming from and thus what you need from an MBA program to help you reach the goals stated in questions 1 and 2. From there, the central issue is obviously to explain what Yale offers that will help you attain those needs. As always, avoid telling the school what it already knows about itself—especially given the restrictive word limit—and instead strive to show a direct link between specific, ideally unique, resources at Yale and you and your aspirations.

PERSONAL STATEMENT 1

Describe an accomplishment that exhibits your leadership style. The description should include evidence of your leadership skills, the actions you took, and the impact you had on your organization. (500 words maximum)

This question has been held over from Yale’s 2008–2009 application. For this essay, resist the temptation to select an accomplishment primarily because of its size, monetary value, the number of people involved or other such quantifiable factor. Although Yale is interested in hearing about situations in which you were successful, it particularly wants to know who you are as an individual and what kind of leader you are and can be. The Admissions Committee wants to see you in action, so to speak—the key word here being “you.” It is especially important to relate the story of a time when you excelled specifically because you acted in a leadership role in a way that felt natural and “right” for you, in other words, an instance in which you followed your personal leadership instincts and ideals.

Given the wording of this question, we believe a successful essay here would be one that tells a story. Take care to not just recount the basic facts of the event but also to illustrate how you guided the process from beginning to end, showing cause and effect, and thereby demonstrating the impact of your leadership style and decision making. Note also that the question asks specifically about the resulting impact, so this element should not be overlooked.

PERSONAL STATEMENT 2

Choose one of the following topics and answer it in essay form. Please indicate the topic number at the beginning of your essay. (500 words maximum)

All the topic options under the Personal Statement 2 heading (with exception of the question for reapplicants) are clearly meant to reveal more about the applicant as a unique individual than to serve as an opportunity for candidates to merely recount their professional accomplishments.

1. A central premise of our teaching about leadership at the Yale School of Management is that true leadership—leadership that helps to address a significant problem in a new way—is necessarily personal. It is only when personal passion aligns with meaningful aspirations that individuals are able to inspire others to act in support of an important goal or cause. What are you most passionate about, and how have you demonstrated a commitment to this passion?

Another question held over from last year’s application, this query requires candidates to illustrate their motivation and ambition, what drives them. Obviously, the underlying message is that one’s passion for something is more valuable when it is put into action. And “passion” here is not to be confused with “interest.” As we noted in last year’s essay analysis, an individual who enjoys cooking regularly would not be considered “passionate” about the culinary arts, whereas someone who spends an entire day combing through multiple farmers’ markets in search of a unique vegetable for a dish would be. Truly conveying the depth and intensity you feel for an industry, function or cause is key here, as is showing how this passion has inspired you to take action.

2. What achievement are you most proud of and why?

Also a repeat from the 2009–2009 application, this question could be considered conceptually similar to question 1 above. So, if you are deciding between the two queries, take care to choose the one that will better allow you to showcase the story you plan to tell. Again, candidates are expected to relate a narrative of an outstanding accomplishment, but the “and why” portion of the query demands that applicants tie the achievement to their personality and/or ambitions.

To better set your self apart from other candidates, consider choosing an accomplishment for which the reason for feeling proud may not be immediately apparent. Anyone would be proud of growing revenues by a large percentage or landing a prestigious account, for example, so these options would not reveal as much about you as a unique individual with your own style. Or, pick an instance in which anyone would be proud of having accomplished what you accomplished, but the reason you were proud was different from what someone might expect. For example, if you used your great-grandmother’s cookie recipe to win a baking contest, you may be proud of having beat out numerous competitors for the top prize, but you might also be proud of the win because it gave you a greater appreciation for family and ancestors, or it imbued you with confidence that then inspired you to start a small bake shop, etc.

3. What is the most difficult feedback you have received from another person or the most significant weakness you have perceived in yourself? What steps have you taken to address it and how will business school contribute to this process?

This question is another holdover from last year’s application, but it has been altered slightly. Whereas before, the school asked “Looking forward, what skills are you most eager to build or improve upon in business school?” this year, the Admissions Committee wants to know what you have already done on your own in response and how this will continue at business school. In addition to learning how candidates respond to shortcomings, the school wants to see a willingness on the part of the applicant to take responsibility and to act on, not just learn from, such experiences—to use them as a trigger for active personal or professional growth.

In addition, responding well to negative feedback or weaknesses shows maturity, flexibility, a willingness to learn from others, etc.—all good leadership and teamwork qualities. With regard to which instance of feedback or which weakness you discuss, make sure to not select one that is inconsistent with Yale’s values or atmosphere. For example, saying, “My boss criticized me for being lazy” would not be advised, in light of the school’s preference for highly motivated and proactive candidates. Likewise, avoid “empty” criticisms, such as, “My supervisor insisted that I work too hard and do too much.” Trying to disguise a strength as a weakness will not impress—and may likely annoy—the Admissions Committee and do not indicate an appropriate level of self-awareness and honesty.

4. Describe a situation in which you devised and implemented a creative or unique solution to a difficult problem. What obstacles did you face and how did you overcome them?

This question has been shortened from what appeared on the 2008–2009 application and no longer includes the “How will you create your own SOM Story?” element. Note that the phrasing of the request places the emphasis on a description of the solution and of the devising of that solution rather than simply of the problem that was solved. Thus, as for the Personal Statement 1 question, resist the urge to present a situation based on or because of its size, financial value, etc. Focus instead on the “creative” and “unique” aspects of your response to and resolution of the problem. In business speak, the school is asking for an instance in which you thought “outside the box,” so you should demonstrate what this means to you and how you actually do it. This represents another opportunity for candidates to not just offer accomplishments but also reveal who they are as individuals and what they can contribute to the MBA program.

5. Required for reapplicants: What steps have you taken to improve your candidacy since your last application?

Whether you have improved your academic record, received a promotion, begun a new and exciting project, increased your community involvement or taken on a personal challenge of sorts, the key to this essay is conveying a very deliberate path of achievement. Yale wants to know that you have been actively striving to improve and that you have seized opportunities during the previous year to do so, because you feel a Yale MBA is vital to your future success. This essay question will vary greatly from one candidate to the next, as each person’s needs and experiences will differ. We are more than happy to provide one-on-one assistance with this highly personal essay to ensure that the above requirements are met.

[erins]

We just posted our UCLA Essay Analysis on our blog.

August 10th, 2009 | Posted in MBA Essay Analysis, Blogroll

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2009/08/ ... 2009-2010/


GENERAL INSTRUCTONS: Please be introspective and authentic in your responses. We value the opportunity to learn about your life experiences, aspirations, and goals.

1) Describe the ways in which your family and/or community have helped shape your development. (750 words)

As UCLA Anderson notes in its general instructions, it is interested in learning about your “life experience, aspirations, and goals,” and what better place to start than with your upbringing? This definitely represents a contrast from the usual “personal statement” type of query that typically begins a business school application. This question is intended to reveal the key elements of your development, allowing you to recognize and give credit to others for where you now find yourself in the world, both personally and professionally, or perhaps even to spotlight your own strength and resiliency, if you had a difficult family dynamic or one that offered little or no support. Candidates should definitely avoid beginning their essay with a statement such as “I was born in St.Louis, Missouri, on April 1, 1979” and proceeding chronologically from there. This essay will need to be more thematic and conceptual, rather than a timeline.

In this essay, you can freely provide more information on your personal background than is typically acceptable or possible in MBA application essays. How you answer the question can give the school some insight as to where you feel you fit in the world as well as what kind of life you might create going forward. For example, if you experienced support, encouragement and positive challenge from your family and/or community, you may strive to recreate this kind of experience for others so that they may benefit as you have. Conversely, if your developmental years were trying and marked by negative input, you may be inspired to create a better atmosphere for others by forging a new and different path. These revelations in turn might help reveal what kind of a leader you would be both in the classroom at Anderson and later, in the “real world.” The key to success for this essay will be in honestly revealing yourself and your influences as fully as the word count will allow—and not trying to guess what the school might be looking for and bending your story to fit.

2) Describe the biggest risk you have ever taken, the outcome, and what you learned in the process. (500 words)

One thing to note about this question is that, below the surface, it is not just about the risk you undertook, whether you were successful in your efforts and how you reacted, though these will obviously be central elements of your essay. What will also be revealed in your answer is what kind of risk taker you are (Are you a slow and steady planner or an edgy, “out of the box” thinker who is ready to go for it?) as well as your level of risk tolerance (i.e., what you might consider a risk may be standard protocol for someone else, or vice versa). Stories of success are good for obvious reasons, but really plumb your past and examine all possibilities for this one to ensure that the story you tell reveals the most about yourself in all these different areas. It may be that an instance in which you took a huge risk and failed has since proven more influential on you and your development as a leader than one in which you were successful—perhaps you learned a valuable lesson or were subsequently inspired to try something new or different. Again, as Anderson’s intro to the suite of essay questions states, the school wants to know about you as an individual, beyond just the quantifiable aspects of your experiences thus far.

3) Describe your short-term and long-term career goals. What is your motivation for pursuing an MBA now and how will UCLA Anderson help you to achieve your goals? (750 words)

This question represents a relatively standard Personal Statement essay question—short-term goals, long-term goals, why an MBA now and why UCLA—so we encourage candidates to consult our “mbaMission Personal Statement Guide,” which we offer free of charge, via our online store. Please feel free to download your copy today.

Do not use up precious word space here detailing your professional career and accomplishments to date, but do include some general reference to your past work experience to frame why you need an MBA education to attain your stated goals. You must then clearly explain what UCLA offers in particular that will help you. As always, avoid telling the school what it already knows about itself and instead strive to demonstrate links between specific offerings at the school and you and your aspirations. You will need to do your research to best identify direct ties between what Anderson offers and your professional goals, personal beliefs, study style, etc. The more in depth your knowledge of the school, the easier pinpointing specific resources will be in the context of your future success and thus the more effective your essay will be. Take time to go beyond the school’s view book and Web site and contact students, alumni and faculty members, and, ideally, visit the school and attend a class.

An important element of personal statement essays that can sometimes get lost in the shuffle is the “why now” aspect. Be sure to not gloss over or sacrifice this information, believing it is not as important as the other elements of your candidacy that you wish to express—the school asked for a reason, so commit yourself to developing a clear, fitting answer to this portion of the query.

4) Select and respond to one of the two following questions. We would like you to respond to the question by recording an audio or video response (up to 10Mb maximum) for upload in the online application. (The supported file types for audio files are: .avi, .wav, .mp3, .wmv, .midi, .wma, .aiff, .au, .mp4; the supported file types for video files are: .mov, .avi, .wmv, .mpeg) If you are unable to submit your response via audio or vido, then please prepare a written response, instead. (250 words)

a) Entrepreneurship is a mindset that embraces innovation and risk-taking within both established and new organizations. Describe an instance in which you exhibited this mindset.

This first option is a slight revision of last year’s question, in which UCLA asked candidates about entrepreneurial “spirit” rather than “mindset.” As most MBA candidates likely already know, you do not have to have started a company (or be making plans to do so in the future) to exhibit the mindset (or spirit) of an entrepreneur, so those applicants who are not currently considering starting their own venture down the road need not—and perhaps should not—shy away from this question.

Start by defining for yourself what an entrepreneur is to you, beyond the most basic description (i.e., someone who starts a new venture). Identifying opportunities for advancement, fulfilling a need and putting a creative or innovative twist on something that is already available are all aspects of the entrepreneurial approach, for example. If you look at the question closely, you will note that it does not stress the need for an example of a new businesses or product that you spearheaded but rather for a description of a time when you “exhibited” the entrepreneurial “mindset.” So your story should focus primarily on the forces within you that inspired you to speak up or act. The central theme should be your demonstration and application of entrepreneurial qualities. Given that entrepreneurship is such a key topic at Anderson, take steps to understand the school’s attitude and approach to the subject before you begin writing and, wherever possible, show why or how the school will either help you further your entrepreneurial spirit or give you the opportunity to cultivate it.

b) What is something people will find surprising about you?

This question is the only one left over word-for-word from last year’s application. Generally, this option can be used to add “spice” to your profile and enable you to quickly differentiate yourself from others. For this essay to be effective, you need to draw a stark contrast between the “surprising” aspect and what is expected of you, and of course, the greater contrast, the better. If you are having difficulty measuring this, you may want to try out your ideas on friends and coworkers to see what they find most unexpected.

Once you have identified a possible topic, compare and contrast your obvious persona (e.g., entrepreneur, banker, philanthropist) with your proposed “surprising revelation” for this essay. If you can list as many, or more, similarities as dissimilarities between the two, you should likely keep brainstorming. As an example, for someone who works within a rigid structure for their job function, such as an accountant, having a hobby or other interest that is also highly structured, such as doing puzzles or assembling models, may not seem that surprising. By contrast, an accountant who loves to participate in improvisational poetry jams—which involve almost no preparation or structure and instead rely heavily on creativity and spontaneity—would catch the Admissions Committee’s attention much more readily. If possible, going one step further and revealing an accomplishment or recognition in this surprising area would be ideal.

(Essay #5: Optional) Are there any circumstances in your profile about which the Admissions Committee should be aware? (250 words)

The optional essay is for discussing unique circumstances in your candidacy, not for elaborating further on your career or an interesting personal accomplishment. If you feel you have something vital that must be discussed, we suggest you be as brief and direct as possible in doing so. Otherwise, approach the optional essay with caution.