First essay. Suggestions/Feedback?

[ragskashyap]

"Corporations and other businesses should try to eliminate the many ranks and salary grades that classify employees according to their experience and expertise. A 'flat' organizational structure is more likely to encourage collegiality and cooperation among employees".


Essay:

Many corporations and businesses believe that salary grades should be used to classify employees according to their experience and expertise. However, in this discussion I would like to present the advantage and benefits of having a 'flat' organization.

One of the major foundations for the success of the company "W.L. Gore" it its flat hierarchy. The company believes strongly that the employees would collaborate and work together well in an organization without hierarchy. This structure enables employees of "W.L.Gore" to openly communicate with other employees and work seamlessly. The end result is that "W.L. Gore" has posted record sales year over year.

One other company where the 'flat organization has worked very well is "Google". In this company teams are organized in to small groups with same level of people. People tend to work very well in this fashion. The profits reported by Google and the soaring stock price clearly shows the benefits of having a 'flat' organization.

On the contrary a company with hierarchical structure has its own share of issues. In an organization communication among employees is very critical. With an Hierarchical structure employees tend to hold back and not communicate easily with their managers. This kind of environment is not very productive. There are a number of companies that operate in this manner and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

One of the key drawbacks of the organization with hierarchical structure is that they tend of have many layers of employees based on their experience and expertise. In this age and era experience & expertise is not the only factor which can be based to classify employees.

[marcusking]

I think your overall approach is decent. The writing style seems good and there were no obvious grammatical errors.

However, it seems that you left out a big question about what flat organizations do for employee motivation. Without an attainable promotion or salary grade where people have a frame of reference to where they are positioned and what is possible for them to achieve, it's hard for people to want to put forth a considerable effort to do a good job.

Also I think adding something to the extent of what types of organizations do well with flat structures vs the organizations that do well with hierarchies. For example a flat structure may work well for google because given the industry they are in they need to remain agile and innovative, and communication/team efforts are crucial. When talking about a company that manufactures mailboxes, however, a hierarchical structure is probably best suited because it lends well to efficiency and there isn't much variability in that field. Naturally I would go more in depth and talk about the mechanics of why each lends well to a certain structure but I'm a bit tired now .

Just some thoughts.

[uymba]

Hello. Well, despite I am not a very good writer, here are a few ideas.
I think the essay was good. Perhaps you could use more words as "furthermore", "In addition", etc etc and all those fancy words that appear on the books. I see as a weak point that 3 of the 5 parragraphs start with the word "One". Perhaps you can change that. Surely in the parragraph you talk about google as a 2nd example, you could have used "Furthermore" or "In addition".

Regards.

[ragskashyap]

Thank you for your feedback. I keep these comments in mind in my next essay