Ask Stacy Blackman

Hi Stacy/Amy,

I'm about to release online recommendation forms to my direct and in-direct managers. I know it's beneficial to guide them through the process, pointing out specific projects and qualities that could refresh their memory as they write the recommendation.

My direct manager and I have a good working relationship. He knows exactly what I've been working on for two years and the type of person I am. I know he will write a strong rec. but when I mentioned I wanted to make his job easier by giving him a 1 page sheet with some guidance, he didn't respond that well to it. He's a no-nonsense guy. He didn't say no to it, but just thought it sounded odd that I would want to help "guide" the process.

Considering he didn't say no, should I still give him the sheet, or just avoid turning him off and let him answer the questions without guidance?

The Duke Rec. is specific and straightforward, so I tend to think that just letting him at it is the best way to go.

The reason I'm worried about it is because I want him to talk about my being on-track for a job promotion that only comes up every couple of years. Since my wife got into her program, I'm leaving just before the promotion becomes available.

Any insights would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for your time!

Hi Sadowski,

You know the relationship best, and you should follow your instincts on his reception to the idea of guidance. If he really wants to write the recommendation, you should certainly let him do it. Many recommenders like the idea of some hints, but some would rather be as independent as possible. You have the best idea of how to handle this, so there are no hard and fast rules I would want to give you.

Good luck!

Amy