GMAT Essays (AWA)

""The average price of an acre of land in the United States is now 50 times what it was in 1970, and nearly 200 times what it was in 1920. The nation's population is projected to keep increasing, even as the amount of land remains constant. Therefore, people who are approaching retirement should invest heavily in real estate in order to ensure their financial security."

My response

he author's argument on financial security for individuals approaching retirement should only include one investment option: real estate. The reason behind this is that the price of an acre of land has now increased 50 times what is was in the 1970 and 200 times what it was in 1920. The author's argument is flawed in a couple of ways.
First, the author has assumed that investing in real estate is the only investment option available for individuals approaching retirement. This is unconvincing because real estate is not the only way to ensure a financial security for individuals approaching retirement. For example, an individual can invest in stocks, bonds, commodities, and other forms of investments. Perhaps an individual approaching retirement should consult with their local Merril Lynch advisor for better retirement investment options.

Second, past results do not predict future results in real estate. Just like every industry that has a cyclical period, real estate goes through its own cyclical period. For example, in the early 2000, majority of Americans were buying real esatate land and now most of these lands are worth a lot less than what they were before.

Hence, the author has to do a better job informing an individual approaching retirement to invest in alternative investments and not to predict future result in real estate based on past performances .

The reason behind this is that

verbose....the reason is

The reason behind this is that

i think its a typo

You dont need to mention that its flawed in a couple of ways.

There are a few mistakes which will go away with practicing.

Thank you so much. Please rate (1-6). Thank you.

Good organization! I'd say it's a 4. If you run out of ideas, consider discussing under what circumstances the opposite position (in this case, that heavy real estate investment) might be true -- what evidence would be needed to convince you?