GMAT Essays (AWA)

I'm from Sweden and just started preparing for the writing part, however, got tired middle way(not enough sleep).

I know that it can be hard to asses, since it isn't finished, but I only want you to give an assessment of my "score potential" on the writing part based on the text below.

It has become a hot topic whether higher standard of living results in increased overall satisfaction or have deleterious effects on how people perceive their everyday life. However, there are no clear answers. But until recently there has been empirical data that suggest some correlation with increased standard of living and overall satisfaction, but with weakening relationship as standard of living increases over time. Accordingly,an increase in income for working poor would produce more happiness than an equal increase in income targeted at people with adequate salaries .Furthermore, the observed correlation is believed to be the main reason why wealthy people not necessarily display greater happiness.

Applying this theory, we could infer that increased standard of living results in less perceived happiness derived from material well-being as standard of living rise.Hence, we could, based solely on this theory(not taking into account other factors that work in the opposite way) expect lower increases in happiness over time. Using the same concept, we could also conclude that the impact on happiness would be greater in less industrialized countries.

My personal view is that the text is too factual, lack of nice expressions of sentences, for instance: this has been pivotal to, shoehorning people into etc and superfuous use of more common factual words and expressions.

Man, i wrote all that to get some feedback here.

Hi it's pretty good but very hard to say without a complete essay. I'd say 4 but by no means accurate as you need to complete fully before anything can be done.