GMAT Essays (AWA)

Topic:

An author once wrote that "The invention of the telephone prevents us from appreciating the distance between us." Today this is even more true as the rise of the Internet has enabled inexpensive global communication.

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the position stated above. Support your viewpoint using reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.



Response:

Author states that "invention of the telephone prevents us from appreciating the distance between us" and internet is making this even worse. I disagree with this position. I believe that people appreciate distances irrespective of telephone and internet, nothing can ever beat being close to who you miss and these new means enables us to express our appreciation to those who matters most rather than just holding those feelings on to ourselves.

Firstly, No one enjoys being away from their loved ones especially for long duration of time. People miss their loved ones when they are away from their loved ones. Whether telephone or internet is available or not does not make a difference there. For example when I went to a far away town for my higher education for 2 years, I missed my family back home and my family missed me equally. The fact that we could talk on phone occasionally or send mails to each other did not lost the reality on us that we were far away from each other and missed the personal contact very much.

Secondly, Nothing can beat the personal touch or feeling of togetherness. When a family or people who love each other are together they know they can count on each other and be there for each other in case of emergencies. This creates a sense of safety and security which cannot be substituted by telephone or internet. For example no matter how much did I talk to my family back home they were always worried about me and I was about them.

Thirdly, If people call their loved ones or use internet based communication to talk to their friends and family far away because they miss them and appreciate those distances. If they didn't appreciate those distance they would not even call them or send occasional email. For example I never talked to my neighbors when I was back home and guess what I never called them when I went for higher studies. I did not appreciate the distances between me and my neighbour despite existence of telephone or internet. People who dont care about someone will not care despite distances and people who do care about someone will care irrespective of distance.

Lastly, I believe that use of telephone and internet does help people who appreciate distances to minimize them by being in touch with their loved ones. For example I used to love hearing just the voice of my family when I was away from them and used to console myself that even if I was away from them I could still be in touch with them. That knowledge helped me minimize my pain but never did once I loose the appreciation of the fact that I was miles away from them.

In conclusion, appreciating distance comes before the use of technology to minimize it. And use of technology does not diminish the appreciation but just makes it easy to deal with the distances.
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A well written essay, 5.5.

But please avoid too much of personal examples.
Also the conclusion could have been a sentence longer, which could have been reaffirming like... "So, ...."