GMAT Essays (AWA)

ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared as part of a campaign statement for Velazquez, who is seeking election as alderman in the town of Barchester:

"Under Police Commissioner Draco, the city of Spartanburg began jailing people for committing petty crimes such as littering, shoplifting, and spraying graffiti. Criminals in Spartanburg must have understood that lawlessness would no longer be tolerated, because the following year Spartanburg saw a 20% drop in violent crimes such as homicide. Our town should learn from Commissioner Draco's success, and begin a large-scale crackdown on petty crime."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The argument shown above shows how effective a well-planned law and order policy can bring change in a troubled and unstable society, a society in which crime is taking a toll on its members. It is true that if a nation's government punishes the perpetrators of a crime, the other criminals hesitate to commit at least the sort of the crime which was committed by the criminals which have already been punished.

Under the commissioner Draco, all those criminals which committed violent crimes such as homicide, murders etc. in the city of spartanburg were punished and consequently, the crime rate dropped by 20%. This proves that punishing the criminals surely alarm other potential criminals to take any anti-social activity. If this punishing is carried out in other cities, the crime rate would surely drop there too.

India, for example, has been recently red listed for its coverage in the news for the frequent rapes happening within its borders. Its capital, New Delhi, is particularly blamed for the frequency of this crime. When the police realized that the rapes are increasing day by day and New Delhi's citizens are coming on roads and blocking them, protesting against the frequency of this crime, it began to take actions and start arresting the perpetrators for their crimes. The following year saw a 37.8% drop in this particular kind of crime, according to a research done by a renowned TV news channel.

Another city in the state of Uttar Pradesh, one of the northern states in India, Allahbad, also known as the crime city in northern india, is red-listed for this crime too. The police there tried to follow the footsteps of the police in Delhi and gained success. The city of Allahbad saw a month-on-month drop in rapes happening by 12.7%.

The above example clearly proves that if the law and order activity at once place is successful, it should be implemented elsewhere.