GMAT Essays (AWA)

Hello members! I have focused too much on other areas and too little on the essay.

Please grade my essay and let me know what areas I should focus to improve on. I have always been weak with writing essays...

Analysis of issue

The best teachers are those whose classes include a large amount of discussion between teachers and students
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

The definition of best teacher may differ among all students with different expectation. Although I believe that discussion is the important key to the learning experience in the classroom and it is necessary to have a large amount of interaction between teachers and students, it does not justify the reasoning of being the best teacher with such event. The author’s conclusion is made without additional evidence to support his claim.

The discussion among students with teacher will encourage many students to learn from not only from the teacher, but also from other students. Students with high level of skills in debate will voice their opinions loud and clear while less interactive students will lack the involvement. The best teacher will guide the less interactive students to engage and develop in skills, yet involve high skill and developed students to encourage the other students. The large amount of discussion does increase the educational level, yet does make the best teacher for the amount of discussion in classroom.

Also, the teachers are always focused in one specific area to allow the discussion for the classroom. Although the discussion is always a great exercise for the students, it may not be necessary or permitted during the classroom. The author states that amount of discussion makes the best teacher; yet fails to recognize that all teachers cannot increase the amount of discussion. As for the sports related classes, the interaction between the teacher and students are limited to instruction rather than discussion. With author’s argument, this teacher is not the best teacher although he may be the best instructor to develop a strong athlete.

The best teacher must be able to support the students with education, development and relationship. As students are learning and growing at the same time, a great guidance must be given to the student from the mentor. A teacher can be that mentor for the greatest guidance for the student. Although the large amount of discussion may assist the students in development, it is only a portion of teacher’s responsibility. The best teacher comes from handling students with great guidance rather than solely dependent on one object.

Your essay is well written but you not answering the question in the correct manner. You seem to be mixing your approach with an Analysis of an Argument writing format. You state that the "author’s conclusion is made without additional evidence to support his claim." You go to say that "The author states that amount of discussion makes the best teacher; yet fails to recognize that all teachers cannot increase the amount of discussion" - This technique of illustrating weaknesses in an argument or stating assumptions that the author made should be saved for the Argument Essay, not the Issue Essay

You should be taking one side of the issue and stating a case for it. Instead of saying that the author made assumptions or failed to consider certain things, you should be saying things like "Some people beleive that blah blah blah, however they fail to consider blah blah blah".

You also fail to clearly state which side of the issue will argue in favor of. You say "it does not justify the reasoning of being the best teacher with such event". This is not very clear. Try something simple like -

"The definition of a good teacher is a highly debatable issue. On one hand, a high level of interaction between students and their teacher can impart important communication skills on the students. On the other hand, a high level of discussion could be detrimental to the important process of disipline (you can say anything here about why discussion would not be a good thing). With all factors considered, I believe (state the side you will argue)"

Use the second, third and fourth paragraph to give examples. If you want, you can offer the opposing side of the argument and in each case, refute it. Your conclusion should restate your opinion. In your essay, you take neither side of the argument. Try something like -

"Although some people define a good teaher to be one that imparts disipline and respect for elders (restate an opposing view), it is clear that the best teachers are those whose classes include a large amount of discussion between teachers and students. (Now sum up the points you made in your supporting paragraphs) - You're done!

Thanks for your time to read my essay and write your suggestions. I am definitely taking a note of that for my next practice essay.

I noticed that you're also in Atlanta. Are you currently studying for the exam? have you already taken the exam? if not, when are you taking the exam?

I also live and work in Atlanta (well, live in Marietta) and trying to prepare for the exam.

yup, I live in Atlanta. I haven't taken the test but am scheduled to do so November 22. I'm running out of time and only just started writing practice essays myself.

Good luck.

hwiya320 and lachlanc - i live in atlanta,(marietta) too..and am scheduled for the gmat on the 22nd as well! how is the prep coming along? am totally freaked out now..