Mini Scholarship for July 15 - August 15, 2006

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Here's the essay topic for this month's mini scholarship, for July 15 - August 15. This topic comes from the 2006 Stanford MBA application:

What matters most to you, and why?

You can submit your essay response by replying to this discussion thread.

Please review these rules to determine whether you are eligible to participate in this scholarship opportunity. The prize is a $50 Amazon.com gift certificate; one winner will be selected by me and announced on August 16. Please submit your essay by end of day, August 15.

Best of luck! I look forward to reading all of your responses!
Last edited by beatthegmat on Wed Aug 16, 2006 7:45 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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by beatthegmat » Tue Aug 01, 2006 7:25 pm
Just a friendly reminder: the deadline to submit an essay is August 15. I'd love to give away this $50 Amazon.com gift certificate this month...
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What matters to me? and why?

by aim-wsc » Tue Aug 15, 2006 3:46 am
This is the first time in my life I am facing this question, explicitly. I never discussed about this issue with anybody nor I had a dedicated brainstroming for the same. But that doesn’t mean I am confused about my life or I don’t do introspection.
Introspection is the art of meditation that analyzes your current situation and allows you to draw a plan for the future. Therefore, every person should use this tool to move up in life. And I must say that such questions force you to think about yourself, your life, your values, what matters to you most.
Let us analyze what are things that I prefer, prefer to do and what matters to me most. In that way I'll get the opportunity to introspect and at the same time I'll get my answers to the given questions.
Everything I do, every move I make has force, it could be within my soul or it could be from the environment, the social system that I am living in.
I work. Why I work? I work for pleasure and I also work for money. But the pleasure part of work is very less. I live in crowded, dim-lit urban area. I to and fro in an ultra-crowded local train. My office environment doesn’t suit me. …still I am working there. Why? Honestly I would not have worked for eight to twelve hours a day without money.
I work for money. Money matters me for security. I have a family and have retired parents I have to look for. Money has to be my first priority. As we all know, money is the medium of trade. You need money to eat, drink, sleep; you need money for everything. From traveling to surfing. YOU NEED MONEY TO LIVE.
So, why I still work there?
Because of the security and the money company provides to me. But when I am concerned about the security, is the money all I can depend on?
NO.
Money won’t solve my parents’ problems, live in countryside. They need a good carpenter to fix the compound gate. The carpenter wont do it just for money he would it because he has healthy relation with my father. Money wont stop local kids to climb on the mango tree and steal some mangoes, we planted at our backyard. My parents have built a respect in community and I have to keep that image intact. I have to behave nicely to people.
One cannot say ‘NO’ to a noble man. So you have to be Noble;... to gain power, to gain security. And that’s where I think the power lies. Power matters for security, assurance.

I said I work for pleasure. And there are other things that I do voluntarily. I also donate money. I do some charity work.
Why I do all this?
Charity donation if I do it openly I get respect in community. But if I do it privately, it's because there’s something good inside me.
You think about ethics when there’s some good inside you. You have your values, I call it individual ethics that you develop as you move along with your life. That means you decide what to do and what not to do, what are the things that you should avoid doing it. That is ethics. You wont bribe anybody you wont filch anything because you know that these are some of things that are considered to be illegal or rather unethical. I keep myself in the line I follow social ethics.
Why?
For gaining social respect! And I need social respect, so that people will treat me nicely. That’s why I behave nicely with people.
And in all this process, I keep a track whether I am not hurting anybody in anyway? If somebody Becomes victim of something awful that occurred due to my moves, it really hurts me.

So, ultimately what matters me most?
I am a social person; I work in social environment; I interact with dozens of people everyday. So I follow the rules made by society. This place, society, PEOPLE, humanity matters me most.

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by beatthegmat » Wed Aug 16, 2006 7:42 pm
The winner of the July-August Monthly Mini Scholarship is aim-wsc! Congratulations--you have won a $50 Amazon.com gift certificate! It sure was easy picking him as this month's winner, given the fact that he was the only person that submitted a response. I hope that next month there will be more participation.

aim-wsc, I wanted to give you some feedback on your essay.

You submitted a very "free-form" essay. What I really liked about your response was that it was raw and sincere. I think one problem that occurs with essays that are overly polished is that the message comes out stale. Your essay was certainly not stale, and I learned a lot about you from it.

Some thing to think about for improvement: while I like your somewhat unpolished style, it can be very hard to follow at times. When I finished reading your essay, I didn't have a good sense of what you were ultimately trying to communicate. In your final paragraph, you state:
So, ultimately what matters me most?
I am a social person; I work in social environment; I interact with dozens of people everyday. So I follow the rules made by society. This place, society, PEOPLE, humanity matters me most.
I think you could have done more to tightly organize your ideas to support this thesis. Writing well-organized essays will be critical when you apply for business schools in the future.

Overall, I applaud your entry and I can tell that you put a lot of thought into what you said. I hope that you enjoyed the practice and learned something about yourself in answering this difficult question.

Thanks very much! I'll send you a PM to ask you which e-mail address you would like for me to send your gift certificate.
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Thank you.

by aim-wsc » Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:56 am
Thanks beatthegmat for this $50 certificate.
and I learned a lot about you from it.
You got to read my blogs to know more about me.
i must confess that the story ( or what you call it thesis :P ) is not about me. Its a product of my imagination thats all.
The charecter i portrayed in the essay is a typical thrity year old struggling boy of Mumbai. But honestly the the princliples and values that charecter has are absolutely mine:D ..

.just yesterday i experienced the same condition i stated here...
I had an urgent job that I had to do it in four hours... My workers, few were all drunk and other few were reluctant to work, since it was holiday yesterday. but in such emergency some other people came to (you know) help me.. & mind you money has nothing to do with that. its the social contact and good relations with people.

I think you could have done more to tightly organize your ideas to support this thesis. Writing well-organized essays will be critical when you apply for business schools in the future.
Yes. I could have...
I understand and i know some people apply to such BIG universities need to think about their essays from long back. around 12 months...(errr such a bad SC i have.
hey I am excited to just carried away... :D :D )
Of course this is not the essay that i am going to submit at stanford.
was verrrry busy lately...so could sprnd much time on it...
I had many things in my mind to write.
health
food
sleep
death
life
sacrifices for the good
& many more.

...but had to cut it due to time constrains. I promise to write the full 100% essay next time will give my best 8) so ppl get ready for essay war 8) Nobody likes to win this way :roll:
So please next time, dear members make sure to submit your essay.

Other people, members your feedback is welcome.
Thank you.

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by dblazquez » Tue Aug 22, 2006 4:37 am
Congratulations aim-wsc!!. Next time I will take part also :)

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by aim-wsc » Wed Aug 23, 2006 11:50 am
My acknowledgements::)

I must thank to Eric for starting this mini scholarship.:)
as i said earlier it s a great as well as an innovative idea.
great work Eric.
again thanks to Eric for this perticular Essay.
i would call it Stanford practise essay. forced me to think a bit.:!:

also thanks to my niece Supriya.
who typed more than half of my essay ( i was dictating her) 8)

And lastly i must thank Daniel
who was on 29 mark for TWO days and didnt post a single entry in the forum.
thanks Daniel. :lol:

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by dblazquez » Thu Aug 24, 2006 12:25 pm
Hehe the problem was not to post to reach 30 posts... but writting the essay :D too bad considering that i'm applying to Stanford (yes, i am a dreamer) and i will have to face that piece of hell soon... did you spend a lot of time with it or was it just a "formatted brainstorming"? I like the main ideas (society, people is what matters me) but i'd have tried to use a more formal style... sometimes it is more the transcription of a conversation than an essay. But as you mention, it is a good job of introspection! are you applying to Stanford?

congrats again and thanks to eric!

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Stanford real one.

by aim-wsc » Thu Aug 24, 2006 7:06 pm
this essay on beattheGMAT was much easier since it was sort of ^^free-style ^^one.

but on actual stanford Essay. you hv to present yourself.
Your complete self should be portrayed in that essay...your values your priorities ,,,, the essay is not at all short its a heck long essay; it rather makes you feel short :lo:

On other essays,
you usually find it dificult to manage word count IN the line, (on those 500 words essay)...so cut cut & cut it down to make it 500....unlike on stanOne essay where you are asked to write 3-4 pages, at times you feel you re short of good material :(

So thats the real test.
thanggod that stanford ppl hv removed word restriction...still they hv provided tentetive idea about how long it should go.
. did you spend a lot of time with it or was it just a "formatted brainstorming"?
MyReal Plan for Stanford.
My main theme will be the same but i ll put an extension to this one.

the idea is to make your essay revolve around what you do in your life including your chore. Yes including your chore.
that way your ap essay becomes unique you then prove how your daily chore matters to you. (hahaaa)
then you have many issue to deal with
money
ethics
& whatever....blah blah you can think of...
and at the end of the essay you circle back to THE THING which matters to you most...claiming that other things are important but THIS ONE is the ultimate ... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
NOTE : THIS D BE MY PERSONAL APPROACH. & SUITS MY PERSONALITY & MY LIFE & MY WAY OF THINKING... AND MIND YOU YOU CANNOT COPY THE IDEA EVEN IF YOU WISH TO.....ITS LIKE graphology. People guess the poersonality of a person just by scanning his handwriting.
You kno an interesting thing>?: adcoms can even trace down whether all essay are written by the single person....( actually you dont hav to be in adcom to catch that.)

as per as my raw style is concern

i ll go by that. i wont provide any hundred thousand dollar deals' examples i would rather present some down to earth matters.
thats me & that suits my life...
may suit you may not...
the more i ll type here the better you ll get the idea of my personality...(by reading these hundred posts of mine you can easily do that )
i wont do some lipstick and makeup if they want to take me in. i ll present myself the way i am.
(thats the typical of an entrepreneur by the way)
sometimes it is more the transcription of a conversation than an essay
yeah you are write & i ll make sure that i ll write ^^polish ingleesh^^ there.

and on your last question:
yes Stanford is in my mind.
actually the meaning of aim-WSC is : i am aiming for three big colleges.
WHARTON
STAVFORD
COLUMBIA
I hv a long journey ahead...i ll apply may be for class of 2011 :roll:

that means on fall 2008 will start applying.

phew
enough of me.
well i know pretty much about your plans...your scholarship essay + quesries @ Stacy reveals a lot about you.
Still one question: when applying & where?

hey hey
i know very little about captain 8)
Eric,
i remember i read it in your blog ( some one year ago :roll: ) that do job for few years before applying to b-skewls :evil: :twisted: :evil:
(damn you dont provide enough smilies :twisted: )

so tell us very u r going to start that?

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by dblazquez » Fri Aug 25, 2006 6:13 am
Thanks for the follow-up,aim; and don't worry, i won't use the points of your essay :). By the way, if you re-read the usage terms of BeatThGMAT you'll find that Eric holds the intelectual property of all our posts, answers, essays and souls... he is going to use all that crap in his application!!

just kidding! :D :D

I subscribe aim's petition of more information about Eric :)

daniel

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by beatthegmat » Fri Aug 25, 2006 5:40 pm
dblazquez wrote:Thanks for the follow-up,aim; and don't worry, i won't use the points of your essay :). By the way, if you re-read the usage terms of BeatThGMAT you'll find that Eric holds the intelectual property of all our posts, answers, essays and souls... he is going to use all that crap in his application!!

just kidding! :D :D

I subscribe aim's petition of more information about Eric :)

daniel
Haha--for now I'd like to keep my full identity private. I may reveal more about myself in the future...stay tuned!
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