feedback wanted!!

[hjikoul]

“All groups and organizations should function as teams in which everyone makes decisions and shares responsibilities and duties. Giving

one person central authority and responsibility for a project or task is not an effective way to get work done.”



You can see my essay below. How much points is this essay worth and mayby you have tips?



The statement argues the positive effect of a leader in all groups and all organizations. I disagree with the author because the need of a leader is mandatory in most cases.



Firstly, I would like to discuss why almost every group or organization have a central person selected. The mean reason for this approach is that it has been proven that people in group are more effective with a leader. Communities aren’t obligated and they still use this concept.



However, groups and organizations have to work as a team to be the most productive, a leader must be indicated to make decisions. For example, if one part of a team supports one opinion and the other part supports another opinion, there must be someone who makes the choice.



I sum, I can say the author is right concerning teamwork and the sharing of responsibilities. However, the most effective way, as proven for ages, is to select a capable leader.



I appreciate any reaction!

[ianstrike]

“All groups and organizations should function as teams in which everyone makes decisions and shares responsibilities and duties. Giving one person central authority and responsibility for a project or task is not an effective way to get work done.”

The statement argues the positive effect of a leader in all groups and all organizations. I disagree with the author because the need of a leader is mandatory in most cases.

Firstly, I would like to discuss why almost every group or organization have a central person selected. The mean reason for this approach is that it has been proven that people in group are more effective with a leader. Communities aren’t obligated and they still use this concept.

However, groups and organizations have to work as a team to be the most productive, a leader must be indicated to make decisions. For example, if one part of a team supports one opinion and the other part supports another opinion, there must be someone who makes the choice.

I sum, I can say the author is right concerning teamwork and the sharing of responsibilities. However, the most effective way, as proven for ages, is to select a capable leader.

The number one problem with this issue essay is that there's no development of your ideas. Your ideas are good, but you don't support your assertions. Your first point ain't much better than saying "'cause I say so." You tell us that it's been proven. But you give no examples.

You start to provide an example in your 3rd paragraph, but again you don't follow through.

These issue prompts are designed so that a "6" essay could be written for either side. In other words, you make a huge mistake to not address the other point of view. The essay wasn't pursuasive because you didn't develop your ideas at all. Take a look at the model essays in the OG. You could also look at model essays in Kaplan, TPR or the other conttent on this site.

I hate to discuss essays in terms of length, but it's going to be very hard to get better than a 3 or 4 with an essay this length. A better way to put this though is that you need more ideas in each paragraph. Your examples need to be richer.


Good luck.