What do you think of my essay?

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I have seen this essay topic covered quite a lot, and the responses vary greatly. Was wondering what anyone thought about my attempt. I saw others' responses after i had finished my own. Thank you

Issue Essay:

Topic: Some believe the more comforts a society provides, the more likely it is to create people who cannot provide for themselves. Others believe such comforts are indicative of a society's self-sufficiency.


It is a fair to present the thought that as society provides more comfort to its population, the people lose the ability to become self sufficient, however the answer is strikingly clear. Society is built by the people and for the people, and with this holds the notion that it can only be sustained if the people work for it. And with constant work, society will evolve with its people, however this does not allow for people to not provide for themselves. Such a society would not allow for growth and maturity of its people. With a society that cares for its people and strives to promote equality and fairness in life's opportunities, the people worry less about where their next meal will come, and instead about larger, more broader issues and research. Whether that may be scientific research or working to provide for those in need, modern society is built on advancing the current and next generation so that humanity can expand and improve on itself. Communication is a byproduct of this advancement - the internet, which is a mainstay of modern society strives to connect people and ideas across the globe. It does not create people who cannot provide for themselves, instead it allows for more people to care for others. Society is built upon the foundation that its earned comforts allow for the improvement and continued sustenance of its population.

Society continually needs work to progress. When modern cities and towns were formed, they were shaped by the demands of its people. Rudimentary at the time, shops, banks and street signs were all integral in administering order and direction for its people. Nowadays it is no different. On a town, state and country level, our people vote for elected officials, work in demanding and important industries and are cognizant of issues threatening the community. This has not created people incapable of taking care of themselves. In contrast one can argue that it leads for a greater sense of unity in care for each other as well as in ideas. Towns can model other towns, states can learn from other states and foreign policy can allow for countries to learn from other countries to better themselves.

This refined, intelligent, lifestyle is a product of hundreds of years of human civilization. For many years civilizations all over the Earth were hunter-gatherer based. Knowledge of farming changed the landscape of this, leading to larger populations and stability for people. The crowning achievements in architecture, and later, in goverments such as Greece's democracy, paved the way for a fair, just society for the majority of its inhabitants. Did these advances lead to more incompetent people? That would be the case if society faltered and declined, however the contrary occurred. Society learned from itself, evolved, and more intricate and broader issues were tackled. Transportation, medicine, electricity, were all discoveries and inventions that were product of a healthy society. This trend continues today with many new technologies, racial and class awareness, and a more connected Earth than ever before.

A more interconnected Earth can be just as strongly attributed to Vasco de Gama's intrepid voyages across the world as to power of the internet. Not only was his voyage, and those of other explorers such as Columbus pivotal for the spreading of humans around the world, it exchanged ideas and increased our knowledge of civilization and life. So too has the internet, a byproduct of a more advanced society. The education and resources necessary for the discovery and subsequent global implementation of the internet has allowed for growth of our knowledge and application for problems at an exponential rate. This has catapulted humanity and society to tackle any issue that comes its way, giving rise to more capable and achieving people.

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