Sentence Correction

Hi folks,

After Queen Isabella asked Admiral Columbus to describe the island of
Hispaniola (now Haiti), which was newly discovered, he had reached for a sheet
of paper, crumpled it, and said, "It looks like that-beyond the mountains, more
mountains."
(A) After Queen Isabella asked Admiral Columbus to describe the island of
Hispaniola (now Haiti), which was newly discovered, he had reached
(B) On being asked to describe the new discovery of the island of Hispaniola
(now Haiti) by Queen Isabella, Admiral Columbus, reaching
(C) Queen Isabella asked Admiral Columbus to describe the newly discovered
island of Hispaniola (now Haiti), then he reached
(D) When asked by Queen Isabella to describe the newly discovered island of
Hispaniola (now Haiti), Admiral Columbus reached
(E) After Queen Isabella had asked Admiral Columbus to describe the discovery
of the island of Hispaniola (now Haiti), he had reached


I am not able to decide on options between D and C. D sounds very much tempting, but unable reason out why Option C would be wrong. Checked in many other forums, but did not see any convincing explanation. Can someone explain this please.

IMO it is D.

After Queen Isabella asked Admiral Columbus to describe the island of
Hispaniola (now Haiti), which was newly discovered, he had reached for a sheet
of paper, crumpled it, and said, “It looks like that-beyond the mountains, more
mountains.�
(A) After Queen Isabella asked Admiral Columbus to describe the island of
Hispaniola (now Haiti), which was newly discovered, he had reached
(B) On being asked to describe the new discovery of the island of Hispaniola
(now Haiti) by Queen Isabella, Admiral Columbus, reaching
(C) Queen Isabella asked Admiral Columbus to describe the newly discovered
island of Hispaniola (now Haiti), then he reached
(D) When asked by Queen Isabella to describe the newly discovered island of
Hispaniola (now Haiti), Admiral Columbus reached
(E) After Queen Isabella had asked Admiral Columbus to describe the discovery
of the island of Hispaniola (now Haiti), he had reached

D is clear because here it is an example of modifier. 'Who was asked by Queen Isabella to describe the newly discovered island of Hispaniola'. I feel then is generally used for conditional statements, and not in general. In case you have then where it is not needed, it becomes wordy something that GMAT doesn't like.

Example:
# If the value of X is non-negative then the value of Y is possible.

# When my father asked me to get the medicines from the store, I rushed out to get those for him. (this is correct in my view)
BUT
# When my father asked me to get the medicines from the store, then I rushed out to get those for him. (I feel here then is not needed and more so the sentence has become wordy for no reason.)

Hope this helps.

Just an Observation....

In C: Queen Isabella asked Admiral Columbus to describe the newly discovered
island of Hispaniola (now Haiti), then he reached ...

The pronoun he is the problem.
It does not have a clear antecedent in the previous statement. Here, "Queen Isabella" is mentioned so you can discriminate the gender and thats why the ambiguity is vanishing from our perspective. But let us say it is "King Isabel" then whom would the pronoun refer to... for sure the king not Columbus. This is not at all correct. However if you do the same change in option D the meaning remains Intact.
As per "Usage of then" it is not at all a problem when both part of the sentence the subject is same. Here first part the Queen and in second part Columbus are the subjects.

Hope this makes sense...

Yanat wrote:IMO it is D.

After Queen Isabella asked Admiral Columbus to describe the island of
Hispaniola (now Haiti), which was newly discovered, he had reached for a sheet
of paper, crumpled it, and said, “It looks like that-beyond the mountains, more
mountains.�
(A) After Queen Isabella asked Admiral Columbus to describe the island of
Hispaniola (now Haiti), which was newly discovered, he had reached
(B) On being asked to describe the new discovery of the island of Hispaniola
(now Haiti) by Queen Isabella, Admiral Columbus, reaching
(C) Queen Isabella asked Admiral Columbus to describe the newly discovered
island of Hispaniola (now Haiti), then he reached
(D) When asked by Queen Isabella to describe the newly discovered island of
Hispaniola (now Haiti), Admiral Columbus reached
(E) After Queen Isabella had asked Admiral Columbus to describe the discovery
of the island of Hispaniola (now Haiti), he had reached

D is clear because here it is an example of modifier. 'Who was asked by Queen Isabella to describe the newly discovered island of Hispaniola'. I feel then is generally used for conditional statements, and not in general. In case you have then where it is not needed, it becomes wordy something that GMAT doesn't like.

Example:
# If the value of X is non-negative then the value of Y is possible.

# When my father asked me to get the medicines from the store, I rushed out to get those for him. (this is correct in my view)
BUT
# When my father asked me to get the medicines from the store, then I rushed out to get those for him. (I feel here then is not needed and more so the sentence has become wordy for no reason.)

Hope this helps.

Thanks..'then' is definetely wordy

lokesh r wrote:Hi folks,

After Queen Isabella asked Admiral Columbus to describe the island of
Hispaniola (now Haiti), which was newly discovered, he had reached for a sheet
of paper, crumpled it, and said, "It looks like that-beyond the mountains, more
mountains."
(A) After Queen Isabella asked Admiral Columbus to describe the island of
Hispaniola (now Haiti), which was newly discovered, he had reached
(B) On being asked to describe the new discovery of the island of Hispaniola
(now Haiti) by Queen Isabella, Admiral Columbus, reaching
(C) Queen Isabella asked Admiral Columbus to describe the newly discovered
island of Hispaniola (now Haiti), then he reached
(D) When asked by Queen Isabella to describe the newly discovered island of
Hispaniola (now Haiti), Admiral Columbus reached
(E) After Queen Isabella had asked Admiral Columbus to describe the discovery
of the island of Hispaniola (now Haiti), he had reached


I am not able to decide on options between D and C. D sounds very much tempting, but unable reason out why Option C would be wrong. Checked in many other forums, but did not see any convincing explanation. Can someone explain this please.

Choices C and D have the same number of words before we get to "reached" (unless I miscounted), so wordiness isn't the issue. I think this one is a question of style -- they are both grammatically correct. The emphasis in the sentence is on Columbus (what he said and did), so he should be in the main clause of the sentence (Choice D), not the subordinate clause (choice C).

a. Whole sentence is in simple past tense. Hence, there is no need of 'had' in the sentence.
b. We can't change the sentence to present tense and the correct part following the sentence is in past tense.
c. Need of conjunction 'then' is not required.
d. Correct use of tense. Seems correct.
e. Simple past tense should be used instead of Past perfect tense.
Hence, d is the answer.