GMAT Essays (AWA)

So this is my first real time trying out the essay portion of the GMAT. I really need some help in understanding what exactly the test scorers are looking for, what I need to look for, how to format it, etc. Feel free to tear it apart as much as possible just try to tell me how I can correct it. Thanks!

The following appeared as part of an article reviewing summer camps for children.

Parents, if you need a summer camp for your children look no further than Federville Farms. In a recent survey, Federville Farms ranked first in both overall camper satisfaction and in food quality, and second in the variety of outdoor activities. Federville Farms has been family owned and operated for over forty years, so you have nothing to worry about when it comes to your child's safety, and it employs more Red Cross certified lifeguards than any other camp in the state. If you seek the best camp experience for your children, Federville Farms is the best choice you can make.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

The article presents several reasons as to why it is the best choice for someones child. Some of the reasons presented have a somewhat solid foundation, however, a few are built on assumptions that are not necessarily true.
The first reason given is from a survey of summer camps which ranked Federville Farms number one in overall camper satisfaction, number one in food quality, and number two in the variety of outdoor activities. If this survey is accurate, it presents the strongest argument given as it shows that Federville Farms is the camp that is most likely to please its campers. However, if the survey is inaccurate, by potential being associated with Federville Farms, by surveying only a small number of campers or camps, or for any other reasons, it would greatly reduce the strength of Federville Farms rank.
The next reason that the article presents for attendance of Federville Farms is that it is safe. The article implies that it is safe because it is family owned and operated and employs more Red Cross certified lifeguards than any other camp in the state. However, this relies on some very heavy assumptions. The first is that a family owned camp is inherently safer than one that is not, but this is not grounded in any evidence. The second is that because it employs more lifeguards it is safer. While this certainly would appear to make the camp safer, it is not necessarily so. The camp could just have a larger amount of attendees than competitors in the state. This would necessitate a more lifeguards and could cause the number of lifeguards per camper to actually be lower than other camps. The camp will also likely have non-aquatic activities in which a lifeguard is unlikely to make a difference in its safety.
To better evaluate the claims made, it would be beneficial to have access to additional information. The first is, additional information about the survey discussed, such as its producers, its depth, and other rankings. To better evaluate the claims on safety, it would be beneficial to have information on the amount of accidents and injuries on Federville Farms and other summer camp options. This would strengthen the claim of Federville Farms being safe If it showed a lower rate of accidents and injuries than other camps. This would obviously weaken the claim if it showed the opposite.
Overall, the article possesses some information that appears strong, such as the survey rankings. It also contains claims about safety that appear to be based on assumptions that are not necessary well founded. However additional information about the survey and on Federville Farms and additional camps would be extremely beneficial in better analyzing these claims.