rate my essay please

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rate my essay please

by ben87654 » Fri Jul 21, 2017 8:28 am
It is my first try.

topic
As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

response
The technology becomes more and more dominant in the world, and it is a trend after several industrial and scientific revolutions. As people benefit from the technology, a growing of anxiety is coming up. I feel optimistic and embrace the development of technology. As the chess player who was beaten by Deep Blue says, we should think about what machines cannot do rather than how to defeat the machine.
First of all, the technological development inevitably causes loss of jobs in some traditional industry. In the 20th century, there are many human-power cars in Shanghai. After the invention of engine, this type of labor extinct and becomes a part of history. Although it is still memorable culture in Shanghai, the majority of people is not hesitate to use modern cars, trains and so on. Labors who are good at driving human-power cars have to change their jobs. They can go to factories or other type labors. They still can use their advantages of body, but they lost connections with the rich who would like to pay them extra money for good service of human-power cars. Nowadays, online shops replace many retail shops. The development of social media and wireless technology make phone calls cheaper. Many people who have high paid jobs before have to change their jobs. I have to acknowledge that the technology drive the market to be winner-takes-all type compared with the revolution in the past.
There are still space for normal people to take advantages for and improve their values in society. As the digital market grows, there are many programmers jobs which require little background but high paid. So many young people have opportunities to contribute their values through computers. In the past, many elders complain about youth's addiction to computers. Many IT companies are eager to get involved in different market such as education, transportation and scientific calculation. So people with different talents can be benefited from these development.
It is not surprise that IT companies earn much money and seem dominating many aspects of people's lives. But a nature of software development can prevent them from domination. Changing or adding functions of software need a large amount of labors from programmers. A single bug could cost several years to fix.
Although many machines nowadays are very powerful, the flexibility of human beings is not replaceable.

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by shalini_m » Sun Aug 06, 2017 6:57 am
Hi

Your essay is good and properly organised.
Well done.