GMAT Essays (AWA)

The following appeared as part of an article reviewing summer camps for children.

Parents, if you need a summer camp for your children look no further than Federville Farms. In a recent survey, Federville Farms ranked first in both overall camper satisfaction and in food quality, and second in the variety of outdoor activities. Federville Farms has been family owned and operated for over forty years, so you have nothing to worry about when it comes to your child's safety, and it employs more Red Cross certified lifeguards than any other camp in the state. If you seek the best camp experience for your children, Federville Farms is the best choice you can make.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
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The argument claims that the Federville Farms is the best Summer camp for parents to take their children. The argument is base on the premises that the Federville camp is best for food quality, variety of outdoor activities and child's safety. The conclusion the Federville Farms is the best choice is based on the some assumption which lacks some evidences.

Firstly, the argument readily assumes that the parent should take their children to summer camp is best for food quality and variety of outdoor activities. However, the parents might prefer the children to learn some specialty camps like dance camp or heritage camp. For example, there might be summer camp the provides special dancing focus.

Secondly, the argument would have been much clearer if it provided the survey rating based on other attributes like cost, age group, etc. Moreover, parents' preference could be different depending on variety of factor. As such, the argument fails to considers different categories and preference for the summer campers. In fact, there is no single size that fits for everyone.

Also, the argument assumes the family owned camp with more Red Cross certified lifeguards is safer than the camp without those factors. Rather, it might be the case that the camp is less safer that's why it needs more lifeguards to protect the children. Besides, family owned camp might lacks professionalism as it is the business for the camp organizers.

Finally, the argument would have been more convincing if it had flawless assumptions.