GMAT Essays (AWA)

Source MGMAT CAT:

The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:

"The inflow of immigrant workers into our community has put a downward pressure on wages. In fact, the average compensation of unskilled labor in our city has declined by nearly 10% over the past 5 years. Therefore, to protect our local economy, it is essential to impose a moratorium on further immigration."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

MY RESPONSE:
The argument in question mentions that the inflow of immigrant workers from outside the community has resulted in decline in the wages of native workers. It further makes its point evident with the fact that the salary of unskilled labor has declined by nearly 10% over a period of 5 years. Thus, to tackle this issue of declining wages, the argument claims that a moratorium be imposed on further immigration of outside workers. Although the argument's claim might seem valid, it does not consider different aspects of declining economy. The argument is not supported by factual evidence and so, it is flawed.

First, the revenue of an industry depends on the quantity of products manufactured by it, sold in the market. This decides the industry's profit margin, which is turn, affects the wages it pays its workers. The arguments has produced no data showing the production level of the local organizations and their profits. Hence, one reason for the decline in average compensation cannot be deduced. Additionally, the quality of manufactured products also an important role to determine the organization's revenue. The arguments also fails to incorporate the quality of manufactured goods.

Second, to emphasize the issue, the argument has provided a vague data showing the average decline in the wages of unskilled workers. But, nothing can be determined about the wages of skilled workers. Also, the remains whether the data of the unskilled labor wages is disclosed by a reliable source, such as, Labor Department of the State, or it is a mere judgement of the author of the argument in question. Thus, there remains no clear proof of the issue of declining wages of the native workers.

Third, it might be possible that the community's organizations are forced to employ more immigrant workers due to the scarcity of native workers or scarcity of skilled native workers. In that case, if limitations are imposed on the immigrations of workers, the local economy would further be adversely affected, thus resulting in further decline in wages.

Fourth, the argument does not mention anything about the margin of wages already earned by the current workers. What if, the average wage is already above National average and this decline in the wages is to normalize the average wage according to National economy. This, however, would totally dismiss the fact that the immigrant workers are the reason for decline of the average wages of the local workers.

All the above points should be considered while deducing the fact about declining average wages of the local workers of the community. Factual data should be presented from a reliable source so as to emphasize the issue. Without incorporating all these facts, the argument remains invalid and hence, fails to persuade its readers.

Nice Work here!

I enjoyed reading this essay. I thought that the reasoning was good and I only caught a couple of grammar errors, (you can spot these if you just paste your essay into a Microsoft word document).

I would rate this as a 5.0 or above. Certainly this is in the top half of essays and possible higher.

Were you pressed for time? Did it take you lots of effort? Remember that the point of AWA is not only to do well, but also to be comfortable so that you are ready for the remaining sections - particularly Quant and Verbal.

If you wanted to make your essay even a little better you could vary the transitions, something more than just First Second Third Fourth. Perhaps "the first fact the argument fails to consider" or "an additional assumption made by the argument."

And one more tip, when you write an essay try to always use an official GMATPrompt. They have all been released by GMAC and so they are available to everyone. There is no reason to use a non-official prompt. If you are taking a practice tests from another source just use an official GMAT prompt instead of the one that they give you. That way there is a chance that the essay you are given on test day is one you already wrote about!

Here is a link to that list: https://www.mba.com/us/the-gmat-exam/gma ... ument.aspx

David@VeritasPrep wrote:Nice Work here!

I enjoyed reading this essay. I thought that the reasoning was good and I only caught a couple of grammar errors, (you can spot these if you just paste your essay into a Microsoft word document).

I would rate this as a 5.0 or above. Certainly this is in the top half of essays and possible higher.

Were you pressed for time? Did it take you lots of effort? Remember that the point of AWA is not only to do well, but also to be comfortable so that you are ready for the remaining sections - particularly Quant and Verbal.

If you wanted to make your essay even a little better you could vary the transitions, something more than just First Second Third Fourth. Perhaps "the first fact the argument fails to consider" or "an additional assumption made by the argument."

And one more tip, when you write an essay try to always use an official GMATPrompt. They have all been released by GMAC and so they are available to everyone. There is no reason to use a non-official prompt. If you are taking a practice tests from another source just use an official GMAT prompt instead of the one that they give you. That way there is a chance that the essay you are given on test day is one you already wrote about!

Here is a link to that list: https://www.mba.com/us/the-gmat-exam/gma ... ument.aspx

Thanks David.
Yes, I was under pressure as time was running out. This resulted in the grammatical mistakes and misc. errors. And, I posted my exact writing.
Using the official prompt sounds like a good idea. Thanks.