Please review essay - MGMAT Prep Test

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Please review essay - MGMAT Prep Test

by knuckledown » Wed Aug 21, 2013 2:35 am
This is the first time I have written essay in mock GMAT. I would request experts to please grade this and point out where I can improve.

Thanks in advance..

ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a memo to executives at a company that manufactures industrial equipment:

"We are spending too much on free customer service after a sale has been made; we need to limit our warranty to two years in order to improve our profit margins. The current lifetime warranty can lead to costs decades into a product's life cycle. Also, we pay our customer service employees a premium because they must possess expert skills across the entirety of our very diverse product line, including products we no longer sell."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The company wants to reduce expenditure on free customer service for lifetime warranty and there by improve profit margins. A life time warranty would definitely have a cost associated with it, however company is assuming that it would not have any impact on its sales and revenue. If that is the case, this proposal may prove to be counterproductive.It appears that company has a customer service team which supports all the products and it's not bifurcated product wise. This means even if some products due to the 2 year warranty are no longer needed to be serviced, the company would still have to pay the premium to customer service team for their skills for other products.

A comparison with market standard for warranty would assist the company in deciding about warranty duration.

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by KapTeacherEli » Wed Aug 21, 2013 10:35 pm
Hi Knuckledown,

Unfortunately, I have to give this essay a 2.

The GMAT expects that you will be able to provide substantial depth. While there are no length limits, per se, on the GMAT essay, there is a practical limit below which you simply cannot fit enough content into your work.

Make sure you have separate introductory and concluding paragraphs. Your introduction should break down the author's evidence and conclusion in detail. Your conclusion should summarize the idea that the argument is flawed. In between, your body paragraphs--at least two--should introduce not just flaws, but examples that illustrate why the flaws are important.

Take a look at your texts; the MGMAT guides, along with Kaplan's books and the Official Guide, all include examples of 6-rated essays. Take a look at them, and give it another go!

Best of luck,
Eli Meyer
Kaplan GMAT Teacher
Cambridge, MA
www.kaptest.com/gmat

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