GMAT Essays (AWA)

Can someone evaluate my essay and rate it, my pleasure to accept some suggestions as well.Thanks in advance.


The following appeared in a memorandum from the human resources department of Diversified Manufacturing:
"Managers at our central office report that their employees tend to be most productive in the days immediately
preceding a vacation. To help counteract our declining market share, we could increase the productivity of our
professional staff members, who currently receive four weeks paid vacation a year, by limiting them to a maximum of
one week's continuous vacation time. They will thus take more vacation breaks during a year and give us more days
of maximum productivity."
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.


The argument that more vacation breaks for the professional staff members during a year will give more days of maximum productivity omits some important considerations that are necessary for a 360 degree view for the given scenario. The argument also fails to provide the required evidence to prove the conclusion from the given premises.

First, the argument claims that Managers are most productive preceding a vacation which is flawed. For Example, Managers may not have heavy workload during the normal working days. It can be assumed that Managers tend to have heavy workload once they return from vacation, where they tend to complete the pending work that was unmoved during their vacation. Hence, the argument fails to provide the necessary evidence.

Secondly, the author claims that the market share has been declined due to non-productivity of the professional staff members. There may be some external reasons for the declining market share. For Example, new players would have entered the Manufacturing industry which could increase the competition and the margin of profit would have taken a hit.Non-productivity would have been down due to insufficient raw material, lack of orders and even high cost during certain period of time. Hence, the argument fails to prove the relationship between the declining market share and the productivity of the professional staff members.

Finally, there is no proper evidence supported by the argument that if more vacations breaks during the year which may increase the productivity. Further, by limiting the professional workers to one week vacation time, which may further depreciate the market share as there is a probability that which the workers may be on a vacation during the important period of manufacturing the products. For instance, Diwali which is the most celebrated festival in India, where the crackers are manufactured only before 2 or 3 months. If professional workers are on a vacation during this critical period of manufacturing, there is no question that the productivity would decrease at a substantial rate. Without answers to the above questions, one is left with impression that the claim is more of wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and therefore unconvincing. In order to assess the merits of a situation, it is essential to have a good knowledge of all contributing factors. Without enough information, the argument remains unsubstantial and open to debate.

Can somebody please evaluate and rate the above essay