MGMAT Essay - Can you please rate it?

This topic has expert replies
Legendary Member
Posts: 641
Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2012 3:52 pm
Thanked: 11 times
Followed by:8 members

MGMAT Essay - Can you please rate it?

by gmattesttaker2 » Sat Aug 04, 2012 4:21 pm
Hello,

I had to write the following essay for MGMAT CAT2. I was wondering if you can please rate it? Thanks for your valuable time and help.

Regards,
Sri

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ESSAY QUESTION:

The following appeared in the personal finance section of a popular magazine:

"The average price of an acre of land in the United States is now 50 times what it was in 1970, and nearly 200 times what it was in 1920. The nation's population is projected to keep increasing, even as the amount of land remains constant. Therefore, people who are approaching retirement should invest heavily in real estate in order to ensure their financial security."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.



RESPONSE:

In this argument, the author claims that the price of an acre of land has increased significantly since the 1920's and 1970's. He then states that the nation's population is projected to keep increasing even though the amount of available land will still remain the same. Hence, he concludes that people approaching retirement should invest heavily in real estate to ensure financial security.

In his argument however, the author overlooks the fact that some people approaching retirement might be already owning some land where they are planning to retire. It is also possible that some retired people might want to live in a seniors community or purchase an already existing home in a retirement community. So not all people who are approaching retirment should invest heavily in real estate. In-fact it might not be such a good idea for people approaching retirement to invest heavily in real estate since all their money would be tied up then to a piece of land and land prices are very vulnerable to boom and bust cycles as indicated by history. The author overlooks the fact that during the Great Depression of the 1930's land prices plummetted in the U.S. More recently, during the Great Recession of 2008 land prices came down significantly in the U.S. and have continued to remain depressed in many parts.

The author could strengthen his argument by stating that people approaching retirment should invest a part of their money in real estate. By doing so, they are insulating themselves from the volatility of the market. In-case they plan on retiring to the real estate which they have purchased, they can do so. If property prices go up significantly, then they have an option to sell their property and buy a slightly less expensive property thereby making at lease some profit in the process. If property prices crash and they have invested only a small part of their savings they can withstand the depreciation in value till prices rise up again.

It is very important for retirees to have a good nest egg since they usually don't have a fixed salary to rely upon. By investing heavily in real estate, there is always a possibility that depending on the economic climate, they can loose some or all of their savings. Not only will this cause a financial loss but most importantly also a lot of emotional stress and trauma which is something that older people find hard to withstand. Hence, the author can strengthen his argument by stating that people approaching retirement should invest a part of their money in real estate to ensure their financial security.

User avatar
GMAT Instructor
Posts: 578
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2009 6:00 pm
Thanked: 136 times
Followed by:62 members

by KapTeacherEli » Sun Aug 05, 2012 6:01 pm
Hi gmattestaker,

This essay gets a 4. It's well written, and it gets the big flaw, so it's a "satisfactory" essay. It has some missteps that keep it from being Great, though--let's talk about how to improve!

The biggest improvement is the logic. The most major issue with the argument is the one in the second half of your second paragraph--long-term trends are not necessarily consistent over short-term investments. Unfortunately, the first few sentences before you get to that point are unrelated to your good points, talking about the fact that people might own land. Make sure separate points are in separate pargraphs!

But, far more importantly, that point isn't actually well reasoned. The advice about "investing" means to invest financially. Nothing in the prompt at all suggests that retirees should live on the land they invest in--the suggestion that they do undermines your own argument, not the authors. Moreover, this time could have been spent on the errors you missed. The biggest one is inflation--were those "200 times higher" prices accounting for changes in the value of the dollar? It seems unlikely. Also, you touch upon the money being "tied up," but don't explore that important point--once your money is invested in real estate, how do you get it back out?

Still, this is a good stat, and there is nowhere to go but up-keep working, and best of luck!

Regards,
Eli Meyer
Kaplan GMAT Teacher
Cambridge, MA
www.kaptest.com/gmat

ImageImageImage

Legendary Member
Posts: 641
Joined: Tue Feb 14, 2012 3:52 pm
Thanked: 11 times
Followed by:8 members

by gmattesttaker2 » Sun Aug 05, 2012 10:59 pm
KapTeacherEli wrote:Hi gmattestaker,

This essay gets a 4. It's well written, and it gets the big flaw, so it's a "satisfactory" essay. It has some missteps that keep it from being Great, though--let's talk about how to improve!

The biggest improvement is the logic. The most major issue with the argument is the one in the second half of your second paragraph--long-term trends are not necessarily consistent over short-term investments. Unfortunately, the first few sentences before you get to that point are unrelated to your good points, talking about the fact that people might own land. Make sure separate points are in separate pargraphs!

But, far more importantly, that point isn't actually well reasoned. The advice about "investing" means to invest financially. Nothing in the prompt at all suggests that retirees should live on the land they invest in--the suggestion that they do undermines your own argument, not the authors. Moreover, this time could have been spent on the errors you missed. The biggest one is inflation--were those "200 times higher" prices accounting for changes in the value of the dollar? It seems unlikely. Also, you touch upon the money being "tied up," but don't explore that important point--once your money is invested in real estate, how do you get it back out?

Still, this is a good stat, and there is nowhere to go but up-keep working, and best of luck!

Regards,
Hello Eli,

Thank you very much for taking time to review my essay and giving great feedback for improvement. I completely forgot about the inflation point that you have mentioned. Also, you are right I should have described a bit more about pulling out money tied in real estate. Thanks again for your excellent review and for your valuable time and help.

Best Regards,
Sri