critique please, test tomorrow

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critique please, test tomorrow

by kirgiza » Mon Jul 23, 2012 1:45 pm
The following was used as part of an internet advertising company's appeal to businesses: Furniture Depot employed our internet advertising company to help. Since then its sales increased by 10% over last year's totals. Furniture Depot's success demonstrates how using our internet services can increase your profitability.

Describe how well reasoned you find this argument. In the discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the argument's conclusion. You may also address possible changes in the argument that would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.


An internet advertising company advertises itself as a tool to increase an enteurprise's profitability. Since entire argument for hiring this internet advertising company relies on a single report of its client's increased profitability, the same results can not be expected for other corporations without futher investigation.
Primary measure of success cited by the ad company is a 10% increase in Furniture Depot's profits over last year's totals. However, it would be necessery to examine shifts in the economy in general, as well as, in a furniture sector. Looking at earnings reports by similar companies over the same period of time and comparing the data across different companies in a furniture market would provide a full balanced picture to draw futher conclusions.
Another problem with citing a 10% increase in profit over last year's total is a possiblitity of overlooking a steady increase in Furniture Depot's profit which was happening over several past years. The company might be constantly expanding its productions and size of operations, thus resulting in increase in profits.
Nonetheless, an impressive 10% increase in profits over last year could be attributed to the internet advertising company provided that other factors are addressed. The following conditions should be met to grant conclusion valid. First, smaller average increase in similar companies over same period of time has to be observed. Second, clearly higher increase in profit of Furniture Deopt while employing the ad company as oppose to the years when the ad company wasn't employed. On the other hand, the internet ad company can cite more successful examples besides Furniture Depot to make its argument strong.
To sum, the internet ad company didn't provide enogh evidentary support to clearly demonstrate cause and effect relationship between employing them and increasing a corportation's profit. With more data better conclusion can be made.

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by KapTeacherEli » Mon Jul 23, 2012 3:34 pm
5

I really, really want to give this a 6. The examples are solid, and this is one of the best-flowing essays I've seen, controlling the transition of related ideas expertly.

Unfortunately, it's clear you just ran out of time. Your conclusion was short, had typos, and didn't really sum up your points-it was a noticeable drop in quality. Make sure you manage your time correctly tomorrow, and you'll do fine!

Good luck!
Eli Meyer
Kaplan GMAT Teacher
Cambridge, MA
www.kaptest.com/gmat

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