Please rate Essay # 4

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Please rate Essay # 4

by asamanta » Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:34 am
The dietitians of public schools supervise the ordering, preparation and serving of lunches and sometimes breatfasts of school children. The state should implement a program of continuing education for these people. If dietitians were required to attend a three-day workshop each year, covering topics such as recent developments in nutritional theory and new methods of food preservation, as a condition of employment, the quality of the food eaten by school children would be greatly improved.


How persuasive do you find this argument? Explain your point of view by analyzing the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. Discuss also what, if anything, would make the arguments more persuasive or would help you better to evaluate its conclusion.



I firmly believe that education is never a waste. For dietitians of school children, who supervise meal content of school children, a continuing education would be very beneficial and would ensure that students get the most nutritious food that is available. Such education could also cut down the school’s food costs if the dieticians learn better food preservation techniques thereby by allowing schools to buy larger amounts of food at wholesale rates.

Firstly, I would like to state how new research could help in improving the nutritious value of students diet. Recent research of the diet in India has found that Indians have the lowest number of cases of Alzeimer’s desease in the world. The research found that “Haldi” or turmeric powder, which is a popular ingredient in Indian food, has been known to preserve brain cells better. If such knowledge is known to the dieticians they could incorporate these findings in the diet of the students thereby improving the overall nutritious value of school meals.

Secondly I would like to state how food preservation techniques could help reduce the costs for schools. Food preservation is critical because larger quantities of food cost substantially less when purchased at wholesale prices. Also the wholesale prices do not fluctuate as much as retail prices. Presently schools have can buy only a limited amount of food at a time that could be consumed by students in a weeks time. But if the food could be preserved for more a month or so the school would be less susceptible to market price fluctuations. However for these improved preservation techniques dieticians have to continueously update themselves on recent research.

In conclusion I would like to restate that a three day workshop would be very beneficial to the dieticians by improving the nutritious value of student’s food. Such education could also cut down the school’s food costs by allowing schools to buy larger amounts of food at wholesale rates.


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by VP_Jim » Sun Jun 08, 2008 6:43 pm
This seems to be an Analysis of an Argument essay - you've approached it as an Analysis of an Issue. Rather than focusing on whether you agree with the author, focus on the author's reasoning - his assumptions, how he could strengthen his argument, etc.

Also, avoid using "I" in your essays.

I'd give this a 2, because the approach is incorrect.
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