GMAT Essays (AWA)

"Corporations and other businesses should try to eliminate the many ranks and salary grades that classify employees according to their experience and expertise. A 'flat' organizational structure is more likely to encourage collegiality and cooperation among employees."
The argument states that corporations and other businesses should try to eliminate the many ranks and grades that classify the employees according to their experience and expertise. A flat organisational structure is more likely to encourage collegiality and cooperation among employee. The issue of collegiality and cooperation vis-à-vis performance and growth is debatable. This topic is increasingly important in a time when organizations are ready to walk any extra mile to maximize shareholder's value. Though, though is no denial that cooperation and collegiality are essential for creating a healthy atmosphere and performance culture, establishing the same cannot be the sole aim of an enterprise. Furthermore, an organization is "in the business of business". In this essay I will argue that a flat organization structure, with no grades, ranks according to experience and expertise, may encourage the cooperation and collegiality but not the performance.

To begin with, if there is no hierarchy in the organization, there is no goal to look up to. Lack of tangible goal may result in misalignment of employee effort.
For example, can we imagine a country without an executive head or layers of functionaries? Who will take decisions in such scenario?

Secondly, flat structure with no differentiation based on expertise and experience will stifle healthy competition that renders excitement in work.
For example: If an employee knows he will remain on the same level as his non-performing colleague regardless of his contribution, why would he work hard?

Thirdly, what are collegiality and cooperation, when basic human requirements of Maslow's need hierarchy are ignored? Are these all about creating a culture of being good on the surface and harbouring deeper issues inside?
For example: an organization that does not address issues of 'pay as per performance' is it being fair to the diligent workers? If not, then will the said issue brushed under the carpet create underlying tensions?

Therefore, while conceding to the fact that collegiality and cooperation are important aspects of viable culture in the organization, it is accepted that performance is a more important aspect. Thus an organization cannot operate with an aim of creating a culture of collegiality and cooperation by eliminating hierarchy based on expertise and experience.

hi dij.
yoor efforts are good but i feel you were using more difficult words unnecessarily. using difficult words does not guarantee a higher score. also, you were using same words from the issue in first paragraph, this shows the lack of new words at your end. try to avoid that. please correct me , if am wrong.
i would rate you 4.5 to 5.

regards

manoj