GMAT Essays (AWA)

Analysis of Issue:
Topic: "The desire of corporations to maximize profits creates conflict with the general welfare of the nation at large."
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading.

My essay:
I strongly agree with the statement that the corporations' desire to maximize profits creates conflict with the general welfare. Because of limited volume of wealth in any societies, increasing profit by one member of that society means less wealth for other members.while general welfare means providing basic needs such as food, home, health plan and education for public, corporations' strategies usually eliminate the interest of public by laying off employees, reducing service/ material's quality, and investment decision considering correlate's interest only.

In 2009 when GM laid off thousands of employees to maintain profit. This had a negative impact on general welfare. Surprisingly, US government provided financial incentive and tax exemption to save GM while this money could be spent on improving general welfare.

A perfect example of conflict between corporation's decision and general welfare occurred when Emera purchased 80% of Bahams Electric Utility in 2011. The monthly power bill of Bahamas Electric Utility's

customers have been increased up to triple times of initial monthly bill. Decision makers of Emera consider long term strategies to provide reliable power to their customer and this needed a significant investment. They were not aware that a triple power bill has a significant effect on people's life.

People who argue that desire of corporations to maximize profits is not in conflict with the general welfare because the corporations provide job opportunities for public should realize that this might look beneficial for general welfare at the first glance, but when the employee become part of a corporation, he/she should follow organization's goal and should look forward to maximize profits which is in conflict with general welfare.

Because of limited volume of wealth in any societies

society

The monthly power bill of Bahamas Electric Utility's customers have been increased

has increased

People who argue that desire of corporations to maximize profits is not in conflict with the general welfare because the corporations provide job opportunities for public should realize that this might look beneficial for general welfare at the first glance, but when the employee become part of a corporation, he/she should follow organization's goal and should look forward to maximize profits which is in conflict with general welfare.

Conflicting meaning. Lost the flow.

You need to work very hard.

You have some good ideas and specific examples! You definitely need to work on putting those ideas into complete sentences that flow together, though. The opening was very strong, but it looks as though you might have run out of time.