GMAT Essays (AWA)

"Although most people wish to live long lives, attempting to significantly extend the average human life span would be a mistake. If achieved, this would place an enourmous burden on resources, lowering the quality of life for everyone."

The author states that significantly extending the average human life span would be a mistake as it places an enormous burden on resources and will cause everyone's life quality to drop. This is a very complex issue related to the evolution of humans in view of available resources on this planet. Considering the exponential growth of the human population caused by increasingly dangerous medical and agricultural practices, I agree with the author.

There are two major drivers that allowed the exponential growth of the human race, advances in medical science and agriculture.

First, medical advances are responsible for the ever increasing life expectancy. In Japan, for example, free public healthcare caused the average life expectancy to rise to almost 95 years. With so many well cared for retirees, the balance of young employed workers that pay for their monthly retirement and healthcare has tilted towards less workers pay for more retirees. That has caused major economical distress that the country, even after decades, has not recovered from. This imbalance in fact caused a drop in everyone's life quality.

Second, improvements in agriculture also allowed the growth in population. With ever increasing efficiencies, mono culture and genetic advances, agriculture has become a wild science that will inevitably cause incredible damage to humans. Force feeding animals, animal full of steroids and growth hormones, and large numbers of life stock in ever smaller facilities are just the tip of the ice berg that cause environmental and medical disasters for humans. Additionally, monocultures in heavily chemically enhanced soil cause deserts and dead zones on river exits.
The latest invention, genetically enhanced produce, has been expedited through all instances of approval, mostly out of sight of the public, to be sold unmarked and without any long term tests on the impact this may have on humans in the long run.
The impact these practices can have range from cancer, child defects, behavior problems, allergies to forever contaminated food sources, and therefore extinction.

These and many other examples show clearly that extending the average human life can be dangerous, not only for fellow humans but for the environment and live stock. On the other hand, without such inventions the food shortages around the world would be much more severe. However, the possibility of creating the next virus that will exterminate the entire population while tempering with food and medical advances is more than real and therefore will inevitably impact all human's life quality.

A perfect 6 for me.

One tip:

Use shorter sentences for clarity and lesser complexity.