GMAT Essays (AWA)

"When someone achieves greatness in any field-such as the arts, science, politics, or business-that person's achievements are more important than any of his or her personal faults."

I took this question from a 5.0 rated essay from this forum [color=cyan](https://www.beatthegmat.com/issue-awa-po ... 12428.html). [/color]I'l be greatful for everybody who rate my version and comment on mistakes.

Each person throughout the world has come through the experience of failure and the negative emotions it brings. But the ability to learn from such failures depends on a personal character and everybody has different reactions on these events. One will be very upset and decide to stop on the certain point, while another person will prefer going towards to his aim. I fully support the statement that someone achievements in any field are more important than any of his or her personal faults.
It is not a new concept, that difficulties strengthen our character, however, people sometimes forget about it. In order to achieve your goal it is wise to understand that you have to overcome complicated situations and not all solutions to the problems will be found. There is a famous Russian saying, "Even fish can't be caught without difficulties", which clearly illustrates my view. After the aim is achieved, only this will mean something. Other people will surely forget all faults which a person made after they see the result.
There is a good example to this situation from the history of the Russian Federation. Stolypin Peter Arkadievich, a political leader of the beginning of the 20th century, is famous for his reforms, which made it possible for the Russians to settle on the large eastern territories, such as Ural and Siberia, while the center of our country was overcrowded at that time and people suffered famine. But not all people know that he had many problems while walking up the career ladder. He was not able to start his career as he wished to - in the department of economics. He just wasn't accepted there because of the differences in views with the head of it. He rather started working in the department of agriculture and rural industry of the Ministry of State Properties. It was his personal failure, which made his feel very upset, as he wrote in his diary. However, there are few publications that mention this fact of his life. This proves the statement, that achievements are much more important than failures.
Another example is from my personal life. When I was a child I attended the musical school. My teacher of piano was a very talented person and she was devoted to her job. She organized a lot of concerts and competitions for me. One of them took place at my school. I was performing my play, when I began coughing. It was really terrible - I stopped playing for a while and felt how the audience gazed at me. Of course, I didn't win anything and cried for some hours after the concert. But, when I took the 1st place on the competition in the Small Hall of the Moscow Conservatory and a big poster was hung on the walls of my school I realized that nobody memorized that failure of mine. All of my friends and their parents were interested in my achievement, not my failure at all.
It is the nature of people to stock at their minds the most valuable and important information. Therefore, you may not remember the person's mistake after he covers it with an unforgettable achievement. Keeping this rule in mind can have great results on the way to success.

Each person throughout the world has come through the experience of failure and the negative emotions it brings. But the ability to learn from such failures depends on a personal character and everybody has different reactions on these events.

Structure is discomforting. Look into the magic of starts. Look at some good writers who moot the idea with brilliance. Give something to the bot and something to the human.

It is not a new concept, that difficulties strengthen our character, however, people sometimes forget about it.

our become one's and ease off the sentence.

"Even fish can't be caught without difficulties", which clearly illustrates my view.

I think you are mentioning fishing.

There is a good example to this situation

there is a good example for this situation

Stolypin Peter Arkadievich, a political leader of the beginning of the 20th century, is famous for his reforms, which made it possible for the Russians to settle on the large eastern territories, such as Ural and Siberia, while the center of our country was overcrowded at that time and people suffered famine.

I dont understand this complex sentence with difficult subject verb agreement.

But not all people know that he had many problems while walking up the career ladder.

climbing up you mean

He was not able to start his career as he wished to - in the department of economics.

Wrong structure

He just wasn't accepted there because of the differences in views with the head of it.

Blogging way of writing...why is just at wrong place

It was his personal failure, which made his feel very upset, as he wrote in his diary. However, there are few publications that mention this fact of his life.

made him feel very upset...
as he wrote is wrong structure

This proves the statement, that achievements are much more important than failures

Dis-satisfactory

Another example is from my personal life.

Many would agree, no personal history.

Similar mistakes in later parts.

My tips:

1. Read more and more
2. Write at least essays 50 before actual GMAT
3. Look for proper structure of whole AWA section.
4. Small sentences with small markups to bots to understand that your reasoning well.

You will do better.
Best of Luck.

throughmba, thank you very much for your reply! I will try to follow your advice and do my best! My GMAT test is on November, 6th, I will practice a lot and post my next essay in 2 weeks. Hope I will improve it)

I've posted my argument essay. Do you mind commenting on it, please?
https://www.beatthegmat.com/please-rate- ... tml#411019