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Rate this Issue essay please

by becnil » Thu Jan 14, 2010 11:24 pm
ESSAY QUESTION:
"Although the modern information age has opened up channels of communication that never before existed, it, paradoxically, has destroyed the foundation of community by isolating individuals in a technological world that involves little real human interaction."
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the position stated above. Support your viewpoint using reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The issue presented above is a controversial one. I will present a logical explanation of the controversies and will develop my viewpoint.

Development of communication systems has been a very significant step in the advancement of science. From the age of sending letters on horsebacks, we have evolved to utilize video teleconference for interaction. Modern innovations have opened up several channels of communication, and they have improved the way we interact.

However, I do not agree that developed communication has limited interaction between human beings. Advanced technology is necessary for the growth of this world, but it still involves human involvement to the greatest extent. Improved communication has enabled more efficient interaction between us. For example, in earlier days, we could telephone one person at a time only; now, we can do a three-way call or a teleconference to interact with multiple persons at the same time. This may be very useful for business dealings as well as for family interactions.

Additionally, improved communication has also improved response time. By advancing from sending telegraphs to sending e-mails, we have cut down the time needed to send certain information significantly. For emergency responses, radio communication through wireless radios has revolutionized the operation.

While all these developed communication systems have improved the way of interaction, they still need human beings to use them; they are meant for human use. These systems only improve the way informations can be shared among individuals and do not restrict the users in any respect. The modern times demand efficiency and with advanced communication systems, human interaction can only become convenient and easy over time.

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    by josh@knewton » Fri Jan 15, 2010 7:34 am
    My comments here are very similar to the ones I made on your other essay.

    And this essay would also be a 5.

    Introduce some specificity in your thesis. Isolate the 3 points you're going to make in your body paragraphs and introduce them briefly in your thesis. For example, a thesis could be "Peanut butter is better than is jelly" -- and then list tje 3 reasons in the thesis paragraph -- health, taste, cost. Then your first body paragraph is all about health benefits; second about taste; third is all about cost.

    And again watch the "meta-arguing;" your viewpoint will come through; you don't have to explicitly talk about it.

    Hopefully helpful,
    Josh
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    by vscid » Wed Feb 10, 2010 6:19 pm
    josh@knewton wrote:My comments here are very similar to the ones I made on your other essay.

    And this essay would also be a 5.

    Introduce some specificity in your thesis. Isolate the 3 points you're going to make in your body paragraphs and introduce them briefly in your thesis. For example, a thesis could be "Peanut butter is better than is jelly" -- and then list tje 3 reasons in the thesis paragraph -- health, taste, cost. Then your first body paragraph is all about health benefits; second about taste; third is all about cost.

    And again watch the "meta-arguing;" your viewpoint will come through; you don't have to explicitly talk about it.

    Hopefully helpful,
    Josh
    Josh,
    what does meta-arguing exactly mean?
    The GMAT is indeed adaptable. Whenever I answer RC, it proficiently 'adapts' itself to mark my 'right' answer 'wrong'.