Feedback Required - AWA essays (practice from OG15)

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Hi All,

I plan to take GMAT in the next 3 months and I have been practicing AWA from OG2015. I am uploading my first practice essays below. Please provide me with your feedback and improvement points. Thanks !





1. Argument -

The following appeared in a memorandum from the business department of the Apogee Company.

"When the Apogee Company had all its operations in one location, it was more profitable than it is today. Therefore, the Apogee Company should close down its field offices and conduct all its operations from a single location. Such centralization would improve profitability by cutting costs and helping the company maintain better supervision of all employees."

1. Analysis -
The argument states that since Apogee company was more profitable in terms of cost cutting and employee supervision when it operated from only one location, it should close down its offices in all other locations and be centralized. By supporting centralization and improving profitability this argument fails to provide evidence on how exactly centralization would affect its profit. The benefits of centralization would be more clear if the extra costs of operating from other locations were known. For example, whether there were extra transportation costs, or costs of maintaining the additional infrastructure at several other locations.
The argument also mentions that centralization would lead to better employee supervision but fails to consider the convenience of employees working at other locations. For example some employees may be located at different states and my not prefer workin from another location. The argument also fails to consider the additional costs and time required to hire new employees to operate from that one location.
Since the argument fails to consider the points mentioned above and does not throw enough light on how exactly centralization would benefit its profit, it does not sound persuasive and thorough.




2. Argument -

The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:

"Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for a five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits."


2. Analysis -
This argument is not logically sound. Firstly, it compares the drop in production costs of color film processing to organic food processing, which is incorrect. The production rates of food processing can be reduced in several other ways, for example, by using cheaper techniques to process food, using low quality containers to store processed food, etc. This argument also incorrectly relates the drop in cost of these two organizations and terms it 'efficient'. Efficiency could have more effectively been portrayed by an example of say, processing more cans of food in limited time and thus decreasing costs.
Secondly the argument also states that Olympic Foods expect to minimize their costs and maximize profits on their 25th birthday, but do not show how they plan to do it. An example of offering discounts on meals or giving away vouchers with meals would have helped in reducing costs and increasing profit.
Since the argument does not include these considerations it is not logically reasoned.

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by Katharine@GMATPrepNow » Thu Jul 16, 2015 1:15 pm
Could you post this as two separate essays in the forum? That way everyone can comment and it'll be clear which response they're referring to. Thanks!
Katharine Rudzitis - BA
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