GMAT Essays (AWA)

NOTE to SELF: Avoid over-use of "HENCE" in ESSAYS.

"Nuclear weapons are potentially more devastating than any other weapon in human history. We must stop pointing the nuclear gun at our own heads. The best way to lower the threat of nuclear war is for the nuclear capable nations, including the U.S., to lead by example and dismantle their own nuclear arsenals."

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the position stated above. Support your viewpoint using reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading

My Response:
I completely agree with the author's viewpoint that nuclear weapons pose a significant threat than any other weapon in human history ever made by mankind. In order to achieve peace and make progress, all the nations with nuclear weapons capability, including the United States should lead by example and dismantle their nuclear arsenals. This will stop the armament race among different nations, as a result of which not only peace and order will be maintained but also world economy and state of living will improve in those nations who heavily fund their national defense program.

Firstly, nuclear disarmament is a long process that the United States and other countries such as Russia, France, United Kingdom, and India have already started. A deadline to dismantle nuclear weapons must be established and all efforts must be taken to reach the deadline. For instance, India has already taken these steps for her progress, peace, and welfare of people, after signing the Nuclear Energy accord with the United States government. So far, India is the only country that has completely dismantled all the chemical weapons sites. Russia along with the United States are also in the process to achieve the same vision.

Secondly, the money spent behind the nuclear weapons can then be used for the betterment of the people of the country, in technological areas, and on space research. This will create self awareness among the pepole of the country that people around the world are working towards a common goal of achieveing peace and prosperity.

However, peace and prosperity can be short-lived if other nations around the world do not follow the same rules and regulations of nuclear disarmament that powerful nations like the United States, Russia, France, United Kingdom, and India do. For instance, nations such as Iran and North Korea are adamant to develop their nuclear capability, posing a serious threat to the stability of the region around them. Hence, based on the assumption that these nations would also join the other nuclear disarmament nations to only use the nuclear enrgy for the betterment of their people can safeguard people of surrounding countries from any potential threats.

Seondly, one could say that what if other nations with nuclear capability bully the United States after dismantling all the nuclear weapons? In addition, that poses a significant threat to the people of the United States and causes instability within the United States. So, irrespective of the United States not having nuclear weapons can cause some other nation like Iran to point a nuclear gun at our own heads. This will result in animosity and the goal of dismantling the nuclear weapons will never be attained. Hence, all the nations must sign the NON-PROIFERATION treaty according to which nations will refrain from providing other nations with nuclear arms or technology to develop such arms causing a nuclear arms race.

Hence, in order to achieve and safeguard the humanity from the annihilation, the nuclear weapons must be dismantled completely and all the other nations possessing nuclear weapons must also take steps to dismantle nuclear weapons by a certain time-line. This way the powerful nations like the United States, Russia, China, etc. will have led by example, urging other nations to do so.

In the opening sentence you say pose a significant threat than - think it should be "more" significant or the most significant threat to induce comparison....

Human history every made by mankind seems redundant

But also THE world economy and THE state of living will improve is what I would say

You go firstly, secondly, unnumbered para and then secondly again. That might be confusing.

Think you missed out the L in proliferation.

You definitely have the substance of a good essay - IMHO I would say this is a 5