Sentence Correction

MGMT SC 4th Edition Page 217

Concision
8. The carbon emissions kilogram weight from cars is higher in summer than that of winter.

Correct version :
The weight of the carbon emissions from cars is higher in summer than in winter.

My version :
The cars emit a kilogram of carbon more in summer than in winter.

Is my version correct too? If yes ok. If not, why?

incorrect!

The diction would propose that you use 'weight of emissions' the subject of the sentence rather than using cars.

smackmartine wrote:MGMT SC 4th Edition Page 217

Concision
8. The carbon emissions kilogram weight from cars is higher in summer than that of winter.

Correct version :
The weight of the carbon emissions from cars is higher in summer than in winter.

My version :
The cars emit a kilogram of carbon more in summer than in winter.

Is my version correct too? If yes ok. If not, why?

In the original sentence the term "kilogram weight" is trying to refer to the weight of carbon emission in kgs. It doesnt not mean 1 kg of weight or 1 kg more of emission. The correct option removes this redundant part and jus keeps weight(not kilogram). In your sentence, you are taking meaning literally and taking it as 1 kilogram.. So i feel the biggest point is that we are not sure whether it is 1kg or not, but if we go by your sentence we are sure that its 1kg !!
Also, as mentioned the subject needs to be Weight.

Thanks guys. From discussion above, I guess the emphasis is not on car rather the weight of carbon.

smackmartine wrote:Thanks guys. From discussion above, I guess the emphasis is not on car rather the weight of carbon.

True.

Well the correct sentence:
The weight of the carbon emissions from cars is higher in summer than in winter.
means that weight of carbon emission from cars is more in summer than in winter.

Now your sentence: The cars emit a kilogram of carbon more in summer than in winter.
Actually i dont think this sentence makes sense because it says cars emit a kilogram of carbon more in summer than in winter and that does not make sense because 1kg would remain same in winter and in summer. This could be modified so that i means the same as original sentence :
The cars emit more kilogram of carbon in summer than that in winter. OR
The cars emit more kilogram of carbon in summer than in winter.

smackmartine wrote: ↑

Mon Jun 20, 2011 7:11 pm

MGMT SC 4th Edition Page 217

Concision
8. The carbon emissions kilogram weight from cars is higher in summer than that of winter.

Correct version :
The weight of the carbon emissions from cars is higher in summer than in winter.

My version :
The cars emit a kilogram of carbon more in summer than in winter.

Is my version correct too? If yes ok. If not, why?

No, you're changing the meaning of the sentence. The sentence is talking about a trend that carbon emissions from vehicles are typically lower in summer than that in winter.
The version that you're mentioning is attempting to quantify that trend.

I was wondering if the following would be correct

The weight of Carbon Emissions in kilograms from cars is higher in summer than that in winter.

I understand that the unit of the weight doesn't really matter here, but saying something like the following would be a valid sentence too, correct?

The weight of Carbon Emissions in pounds from cars is higher in summer than that in winter.

If we consider that it's alright to remove the unit, why can't we also remove 'weight'? When I am saying that carbon emissions from 'xyz' are higher, isn't it implied that I am talking about the quantity? So, how about the following sentence as the most concise one?

The carbon emissions from cars are higher in summer than those in winter.