GMAT Essays (AWA)

Hi,

Please give some suggestions about this essay

statement in bold is the argument. it is from Kaplan CAT IV and i cannot copy paste from there.
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The above argument about redevelopment states that people of the area are against the idea of redevelopment as they fear that they might be displaced or in redevelopment there will be no low and middle income housing. Against their fear it is stated that a number of upscale apartments will be built and the redevelopment will creat numerous jobs. I feel that the argument put forth manipulates facts and conveys a distorted view of the situation; It fails to mention several key factors on basis of which the argument could be evaluated. In absence of specific information in this regard the argument has no legs to stand on.

First, In response to criticism from senior citizen about low and middle income housing, It is stated that a number of upscale apartment buildings will be created. But it fails to mention what type of apartment buildings will be created? It is possible that they create Luxury apartments which might be way beyond the limit of residents, who are low and middle income people. If it clearly states what type of apartments will be built, that will help to judge the argument.

Second, If they built apartments for low and middle income people will they be enough to cater all the people who are already living there. If they are less than what are required than the people will be displaced as feared by the residents of the area. It is not stated in the argument that the new apartments will be enough to accomodate all the people who are living there now.

Third, It is stated that numerous construction jobs will be creatd, which will help people there. but what if there are not enogh skilled people for construction jobs in the area. Will they provide training to the people of the area or recruit people from outside.

I feel that the argument would have been considerably strengthened it menioned all the relevant facts. In order to assess the merit of particular decision it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors, which above argument fails to give.

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